weB log 2018

About ~ 2011 ~ 2012 ~ 2013 ~ 2014 ~ 2015 ~ 2016 ~ 2017 ~ 2019 New entries go on top but within an entry, time is chronological. The next Wholeo new year restarts on the December solstice. Remember if something is undefined, it might have appeared on an earlier date. Read from bottom of each entry or the end up. Or search the page.

Entries: December (2017) 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 27. January (2018) 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 09, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21, 22, 23, 31. February 01, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 10, 11, 15, 19, 20, 23, 24, 28. March 03, 04, 06, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 25, 27, 28. April 01, 02, 03, 05, 06, 08, 09, 10, 11, 13, 14, 15, 17, 20, 21. May 01, 04, 05, 07, 10, 12, 13, 17, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 30. June 01, 02, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 09, 11, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 26, 29. July 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 07, 08, 09, 10, 16, 17, 21, 22, 24, 25, 26. August 02, 12, 16, 18, 24, 25, 26, 31. September 01, 02, 03, 05, 06, 09, 10, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 30. October 10, 11, 12,17, 24, 31. November 01, 03, 08, 12, 14, 21, 24, 25, 26. December 03, 04, 06, 08, 10, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. Quarter Days: March 20. June 21. September 22. December 21.

2018-12-19

Consider taking photo of EIEnor brain cell model with GoPro to get a wider angle and see the outer pents. Or just start playing around with struts to see if can find any good looking layout for a 5D brain cell yoga mat design.

I appealed to awareness, actually praying that I stay sensitive to life, every little emotion can have its fountain and ACK. But don't let me get stopped or bogged down or thrown for a loop by these little encounters.

I feel like I know what life is about. It is an adventure in awareness. My job is to advance awareness as evolutionarily as I can. It is like I'm developing a religion. I love the concept of a personal religion. I don't need and am not seeking followers. I just want others to be aware of my journey. Each is on their own. But sharing is strength.

2018-12-18

Dream: There is some kind of property we're trying to find. Somebody is doing some work on it. Later we find out that is associated with putting a veil over the moon because it is too bright. We're not happy about this at all.

Researched the word solstice, verifying that it is the point when the sun stops and stands still as it reverses its northernly or southernly path in the sky in December or June. Sun standing still has reinforced the connection with carolyoga. This is the kind of post that reinforced my relationship to the milky way galaxy in 1999: http://www.gaiamind.org/solstice.htm.

2018-12-17

Looking at the model of the 5D brain cell, getting yoga mat idea of a hemisphere of it. Doing, that is solsticing, last night, which is shoulder stand, what is it that characterizes it, distinguishes it? Mind is saying to take that pose at solstice moment and allow 5D brain cell configurations to store the alignment messages. Then that pose will be like a Zen peace bell each day from then on, striking the vibes of that moment.

The word solstice is derived from sun and stand still. It is that point in time and space when the relationship of sun, earth, and galaxy pause before changing. Poetically, see the stillness of a yoga pose paused, effortless, held, and light as the solstice of it.

We are doing that each moment anyway, we are vibe aligners. But this conscious tuning in at a special moment and intending it for a special pose will empower, like antenna or broadcast signals. Plus it includes the intention to both transmit and receive and to learn from and act on what is received. Need to have video of this event and be able to record verbal recognitions. So I need to study how long it takes to get into the pose and have precise timing. Bring a clock? Can phone do it? Also need planning for the approach and the aftermath. How does full moon within 24 hours affect it?

I might be designing and selling these yoga mat designs as fabrics. Maybe on mesh, a fine netting. That could be an overlay for a yoga pad. Or three yoga pads duct taped together. The overlay could be a case, like a pillow case or a slipcover. It could have seams for three yoga pads. It can also be curtain or wall hanging, or poncho dance costume. Maybe make one for drumming. Another yoga mat might be the duo tet.

2018-12-16

Woke early. I been awake for 40 minutes at least, then thought about this being a sacred healing channeling time to wake and was there something I should pay attention to? Immediately came this feeling of reaching out as to what I want out of life, whether practical or not. It seems to be a custom-designed living space. My 5-fold yoga mats have made me want to live outside the box, in a 5D space. Sat in bed pondering a 5-fold house designs.

2018-12-15

Had a long detailed dream about living in some place. Some others were there, having come recently and maybe guests of someone. See layout like Staten Island place, I'm by the side window. Go to the bathroom, peek out and see a small writhing mass of white puffy strands, which used to be the people there. Instantly I know they are aliens in disguise. From then on I'm very guarded in my relationship with them. I don't remember fear or hate. Remember wanting my friends to know. Towards the end of the dream I am beside someone where I can whisper "They're aliens".

In long dreamwork session there was this dialog. Aliens: When you realized and said to galaxy (galactic consciousness), "I want to do you". That has opened you to vastness which you only selectively and intentionally encounter parts of. But your will does not prevent vast sheath mixing. Caroling: I feel it. There is galactic sheath, an outer skin, exotic, ethereal, aura-type definition that is a function of wholeness. Not sure if hologram concept explains. Seeing cross-section is like cookie-cutter outline which is a seething video of actions that I don't access in any other way, like trying to bring to conscious awareness or any awareness.

I feel so driven, as if surfing just ahead of looming high wave behind me. Repeat. Repeat. I never get ahead. Never stop. Usual feeling is that I'm just keeping up. Losing lots of things. Just barely doing the necessary elements. Almost losing it completely at any minute.

2018-12-13

Is "feet up" a verb too? Saw this as website URL feetup.com for the inversion device. As in "to feet up" is to get ready to solstice.

2018-12-12

Yoga mat image planning. If take photos, take the five edge pentagon meditation positions so I can show the five-petaled spinal center orientation. This is turning me on.

Five people costumes. Ninja has dark tights, merino NZ top, ski mask, black socks to front left on the mat. African has aqua robe to front right. Red has colored flower pants, magenta top, orange headband, purple socks to left back. White has pants, shirt, headband, socks to back center. Gray has pants, green gray top, lavender socks, blue headband to right back So the heads will be black covered, hair bare, white band, warm color band, and blue band.

Action plan. Video each person walking to center along one arm. Bow to forward. Turn and bow to the entry pent. Pause in standing balance pose. Move to seated position. How integrate cushion? Walk in on arm carrying cushion. Bow holding it. Turn to face pent. Place cushion. Bow. Get seated.

Will I be able to put these together in sequence, or with transparency all at once, or just show them in round? For today I might just get to a still.

How to explain the symbolism, the five-fold synergy? For spring Advance Equinox I want to have a Wholeo mat and real people trying it. Although a single brain cell enactment is right for a single person. 5D brain cell enactment. Caroling impersonating five brain cells synergizing.

2018-12-10

Woke and laid in bed knowing it was less than 8 hours sleep and I have choice of trying for more. Feelings of arthritis creeping around bones. At one point kind of a caverns of Arizona made of tiny cubes shaking in position as if transforming. Am I preparing for a transition? Or is that where palsy and Parkinson's starts? Acknowledge the possibilities and don't follow destabilization. Always have to wonder at choices because they are limiting to the opening in the chosen direction.

How wonderful to get an email reply from the author of the graphic I'm using to correct the frame design for the Wholeo Dome Yoga Mat. Not only has he published information on alternative buildings, bicycle trips, programming, geometry and other fascinating subjects. But he ran spiritweb.org where I belonged from 1998 to 2003. The link I found is https://simplydifferently.org/Geodesic_Polyhedra?page=13. It shows the hemisphere from the center looking out. Since the strut lengths are color-coded, unexpected patterns emerge.

I went into shoulder stand at 8:30PM. Instantly legs, torso, arms, feet, hips, heart knowing fell into balance. Not corrected for posture pose ideas. I heard, "this is how to solstice". The meaning was to allow the body parts to find the message. The procedure and focus revealing the message. Trust coordination. Life building coordination. It will be satisfying.

Diagram of lying down with arrows of direction of torso/arms and hip/leg bends. Second diagram shows angles of hips and elbows when in shoulder stand.

Allow balance in all directions. Every way. It is not balancing. It is just being there perfectly still. When "to solstice" became a verb. See 18-02-23 in blog for foot language.

2018-12-08

Enjoying a rare moment where people seem to be moved by the depth of a graphic, without knowing the intellectual basis. It is this one, seen on Facebook. It feels like the same experience I've most often had with Wholeo Dome. Concurrently I'm enjoying exploring the potential of this yoga mat direction. I found several links to printing services on yoga mats. So far I've only found narrow rectangular and small round mat printing available.

2018-12-06

At our ECMS meditation group, remembering highlights of my meditation experience. Intensity is the chief word. And suddenly derailed into Elizabeth's essay on word use that she learned from her father. Back to the visions. Felt our mutual healing group energy. Then Fuller Dome energy which was tiny almost dust-like sprinkles of white, sky blue and sea aqua. It was like a magic energy clouds of furling not violent but dancing joy star dust. Tinkling. Glittering. First thought was that this was the organic connection I had dreamed about, the DNA that I was to encounter and promote in dome visit.

Before meditation people were wanting to talk about the yoga mat. They love it and are amazed. But I have no idea what they are seeing and appreciating about it. Good artworks are like that though, having deeper roots than the artist knew.

I remember the mind wandering to life stories, especially that happened before meditation but it wasn't chief or major. Also some silly music. Seemed like I could turn it off by discouraging as not appropriate. Major development was golden light. Like an oil, essential oil in richness but like a Vermeer illumination in glow of everything. My consciousness not separate from any cell, all so glad for this respite from the constant activity. The less agenda and needs of body the more every part can exude its being.

2018-12-04

Can't help it. Am evolutionary designer. I was in the kitchen, doing something simple when thought of Leo and how he would have picked this up if I had known it back then. Remembering when he was 7 or 10. He noticed some convenient way of doing something that was also sustainable and good for health. Cilantro?

I seemed to be acknowledging expansion of consciousness and on that track thought of timeline, how I was valuing Leo in the past. But had a kind of timeline zooming experience, single-rail but like a train, tube-like, to advance of now. Seeing Elobeing with headdress and instantly knowing that ... all these things. One that we are a collaborative being and that Elo's development is partially linked to mine. To make human evolution, humans have to do it.

Back to Elovision. Key to the headdress was my addition to yoga. The twirls up. The making of this to communication in movie on social media. The opening of the view down under in the Fuller Dome Yoga Mat.

The EloLeo that I'm knowing, knew, and imaging being seems to have a longer timeline than Caroling. Or at least Caroling the incarnated Wholeo designer artist. Art fiction creator.

That headdress is most like the twirls at the end of the Nancy Wu acupuncture movie.

The Fuller mat seems to open ground vistas no matter what reality or dimension or state of being you are in. Not just Edwardsville. Dorothy you are not in Kansas.

On my walk, talking to video in progress. "Hello Foresty, this is Carolingy. Had a vision of Elobeing with the twirl antlers and they touched together at the top. I had never seen that before. Unicorn. Restless, anxious, etc. but always happy to take a walk".

2018-12-03

Some encouraging news. I set up the GoPro camera on tripod for Wholeo Fuller Dome Yoga Mat and tested it. The mat is sticky. Do not know how it will perform under twists and other duress in yoga. But today, placing meditation cushion and walking on it to sit, I didn't see or feel any paint removal. That bodes well for transport to camping cabin and beyond.

2018-11-26

Walked the lake firebreak, then to power lines. I did think connection to chickens along the way, in a Doing way. They were out under coop and did not run. I was talking to Nancy on phone and rooster crowed several times. I hate to start feeding and maybe getting water for them because of the responsibility, making them dependent on me.

2018-11-25

Thinking of yoga on Fuller Dome Yoga Mat on 12/22 full moon time. My shadow would be pointing to the Galactic Center. I'm planning a mini-retreat for the December Outer Solstice. Three days in a cabin with screened-in porch to be close to nature at Topsail Hill Preserve State Park.

DOing

This is odd and scary. Not sure of the purpose or reason for doing these plans, but getting the feeling that the age of receptivity, watching, recording, describing, witnessing is over. It is a new age of DOING. Which looks like boing boing. Which makes it look silly, which is a way of minimizing it. Because it is truly too far-fetched. I do not know of myself as a doer. I might "practice" which verges on doing when parts are created.

What is Doing with respect to my work? All I can think of is what Castaneda's shamans do. Particularly Don Genaro. I think the second book goes into that best. Actually I was thinking of the third book, Journey to Ixtlan. I took it off the shelf and didn't know where to start. There was a chapter called "Not-Doing". Irony gets me. Reasoning mind says if they define each other, non-doing might help with doing. Of course Don Juan gets you, that is me, into loving the rich possibilities of reality, so I surf reading along. At Shasta Abbey Buddhist Monastery in 1987, it was called "spiritual reading", where you don't engage. You let the words flow in and by. I guess it is encounter, acknowledge, but you don't think about it, don't discriminate, don't compare or even assimilate.

So within that context, what I do is doing all the time. I just want to do something simpler. Could it be that non-doing informs what is to be done? If i don't know what to do or what I will be doing, then what. Is not-knowing a way to do? At the moment I'm clueless. I feel no closer to what to do tomorrow.

In yoga, got some thoughts about doing. It is not to make videos of my movements and words to explain (is it?) It is the action of creating thought forms, archetypes. The .. what is the mental sphere called? Noosphere. If I can feel the action in a certain way, with qigong inergy. Is that a word? Energy. I think it, I gesture or dance it. I pray it. And binding that into the noosphere like a scenario. A stage. It becomes part of what is it? Collective unconscious? Breathing culture? I'm unsure if I just have to go incommunicado. Stop publishing. I'm embarrassed to try to communicate this to anyone or the world. But like it or not, I'll probably try.

The earthball that I've been watching since Nov. 20 rather abruptly opened wide today. Making a web page to record progress.

2018-11-24

Have been walking locally. Today I went up on a platform over Eastern Lake with great views. With video on, zoomed over the lake to the south where the lake meets the Gulf of Mexico. I could see waves. Suddenly a paddleboard surfer appeared with amazing performance on the big waves and sea spray. See the video on Vimeo or YouTube.

2018-11-21

Starting a page for Wholeo Dome Yoga Mat. However, I'm still working on the Fuller Dome Yoga Mat with several technical details to be decided and mastered. Here's a page for the process so far: Making Fuller Dome Yoga Mat. All this week has been shopping for the mat, thinking about the mat, making the mat, working around the mat, nothing but mat.

2018-11-14

Got a new idea. If I master the art of round Fuller Dome yoga mat painting, I'll do one for Wholeo Dome. For me, the geodesic geometry is not only architectural, it maps consciousness expansion structures. So a mat completing the geometry of the sphere I expect is going to be mind-blowing. Fuller and Wholeo Domes are sisters in many ways. Weird how being an artist is never done. One idea sparks others ad infinitum.

2018-11-12

Side side thought: I love the word entrance. To enter. A Way IN. Into trance? Entranced? Dance in trance.

Side side side thought: A Fuller Dome photo shows a strut from my location in Florida directly one line to IL. Feeling wired in there. Remember that the earth map looks backward from inside.

Also thinking how that related to October 10 when I entered the dome at the same time I knew that Hurricane Michael was entering FL. The synchronicity crystal ball kind of thoughts. How can I get anything done when my mind is in control and is so commandingly impractical? Distractions like these make me yearn for super distraction of internet.

Interesting side side side side thought. How the yoga mat helps with expanded expanding consciousness. By investing attention in the lower 6 pents entire body cells are charged with 5D brain cell awareness. So comedy central in crown or IL in dome receives feedback and messages with awareness enhanced. A video of this thought train might have the domehead hovering over the rug with vibe patterns connecting. Or that could be a graphic.

2018-11-08

Got the idea about how to fabricate the yoga mat. Say I have gray round yoga pad. I put on the struts with tape. Then I paint the airocean blue and the white continents. When I remove tape I'll have flat surface for yoga. I want 5-frequency icosahedron, class 1, method 1. chord factors for each strut. To use the factors, have to multiply by the radius of the dome. No, I did it of the mat. Turns out I can't use the numbers derived from chord factors. I have to do scale the design visually from the fisheye view of the dome since the mat has to be flat.

2018-11-03

Walton County sponsored a public meeting about Customary Use of the beach. I liked hearing the history of the issue from a lawyer and resources gathered in support of CU from an archaeologist followed by comments pro and con. I spoke for CU citing parts of the book Simply Seagrove by Robert O. Reynolds. Then gave the book to the county records. In spite of the fact there were almost as many speakers against as for, the commissioners voted 5-0 to proceed with legal action in support of CU.

2018-11-01

Got a whole video idea, realizing that video editing is just like life decision making. So can make a video about life decisions (using video from the life I am deciding about). The story is that when young (starting as video artist) have few experiences (video clips) to choose from, so imagine a few scenarios (make a few source choices) and just do it without much deliberation (sorting through sources and making story boards). As live, create more and more experiences guiding choices (library of clips and previous videos). In old age, this process can be difficult, trying to muster past experiences, what haven't done on bucket list, balanced with new perils based on decline and time, with greater powers of imagination projecting outcomes of choices, can get bogged down into the stress of constant decision making (same with video making). Sometimes instead of inaction, bypass decisions and just act (don't think just click on video choices) leading to a variety of outcomes that only complicate it more. Don't know exact conclusion, if there is one. But the main theme is that making decisions is enriched and imperiled with age (selfie clips).

2018-10-31

Looking at the photos and videos of entering Fuller Dome, guided by the setting and architectural details to align with the 90th Meridian of Longitude, reinforces my recognition that it is a perfect site for celebrating solstices when earth is oriented along the 90th as well. In June and December earth is aligned with the sun and the center of the galaxy. The artwork installed on the hill to the north of Fuller Dome is also aligned with the 90th and marks the equinoxes celebrated in March and September. I am especially drawn to solstices because of my birthday on December 21. Suddenly it hit me: how about celebrating my 90th birthday on December 21, 2024 with a solstice gathering in Fuller Dome? Mark your calendars. Let it happen whether I can be there or not. {Started a dream web page on 11-11.}

I see few comments this month that I'll probably add later, time and energy permitting. Seems it is more important to do than to report on what I'm thinking of doing.

2018-10-28

What was marvelous was the first few steps onto the nature trail and I was in love. Flooded with hugs, recognition, just the way I feel when I meet my daughter at the airport after not seeing her for years. There is no distinction or levels or differences in just pure being of love. Could it be no separation? But realized the twirling sensations of five-fold consciousness was a major advance. I reviewed Wholeo 12 in 1 (as distinguished from Fuller's closest packing of spheres) with a view of my color healing layout. Recognition of the first five WLBs, then the second set of WLBs, plus ground and crown. Forgot to mention twinkle tets and Svaeieia. I thought some about my five-fold ness stemming from cubic storage blocks of brain cells and how that might not be appropriate for all units of consciousness. But felt messages of synergy, maybe synergetic evolution. We are all going to do this together is a possibility.

2018-10-27

Wow a really good night's sleep. Yoga dancing. Got to do Bucky poses. Seeing a drawing of 36 pads yoga group in the dome. (Figure that number in 6' circles.) Then a whole yoga dance celebration outside the dome and spread over the hills interacting with the artworks.

Seeing another drawing. My cells having been recognized as each a brain as complete as the whole Caroling Consciousness, are now becoming aware of their five-fold geometrical structure possibilities. My self image as a collection of tiny spheres is wonderful. This is what it would feel like to live in a truly democratic (not the word) society where each person is as valued and self-aware as any other.

I felt incoming sensations. All the x of brain cells. Spreading all over my whole body. So I feel like this mass of twirling counter clockwise incoming sensations. Calling my brain "Comedy Central" (Center?)

Another aspect of this walk besides chickens is barefoot. With these sensations. Earth connection. Just like rhizines of the deer lichen. And this is the perfect base (soft white sand). So bring my foot flops. And coffee, snacks and seating cover. The other one was Pt. Wash SF Eastern Lake Trail a mile out and a mile back. For this loop, the forest part would be OK, but foot flops for fire break and bike path on 30A. Wonder about cold.

Singing of sorts, People say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one. I said to my cells and their connections I would like to be just like this at age 110. Then maybe I could get some traction for my experiences, artwork, theories, and channeling. Because. Is there a link between visions and long life? I don't really think so. I thought it was for the moment. But I guess whatever is for the moment could be beneficial. Going on, going on beyond.

2018-10-24

With respect to the two missions defined last week, I've progressed, finding more to do.

Why and how is Fuller Dome missing? I've checked Synergetics and the catalog from the Whitney Fuller exhibit of 2008. He is mentioned on bf timeline.

Design a yoga mat or rug. To explore Fuller Dome, the unseen part of earth underfoot, I got a large Dymaxion Map from bfi.org. Realized that I need a map that Fuller and Sadao used for the dome. The zenith is in Edwardsville, IL. The nadir is about 52° away from the south pole. The geometry of the icosahedron in the dome does not match the Dymaxion Map which is based on the north pole as zenith. As are the equator and all lines of latitude and longitude. Without a Dymaxion Map used in Fuller Dome design, I'm guessing as to the missing 1/4 of the globe underfoot. Furthermore, since the dome is sub-divided into 5-freqency geodesic, the curvature is greater and the shapes of the continents can be more exact than they are on a 1-frequency icosahedron. I need to see the original design documents.

On the design page, Fuller Dome Underfoot, I explain some of the reasons or motives for doing this. Looking in my journal I found this: "When I meditated, couldn't sit cross-legged without cushion. Sat on chair. Jerked awake several times. But when first sat, instantly the mood changed. I was in Fuller's spell. He was a magician, a shaman. Felt the vertical shaft, the elevator he invokes. The column I sensed in the color healings. It was so different. Welcome. Afterwards I felt more comfortable and got into my investigations."

2018-10-23

Reading the Fuller catalog, learned one fact that explained why Fuller was at Walker Art Center (see bio for detail). Museum director HH Arnason was planning a show of Fuller's work but it didn't happen. Of course I don't know if Arnason got interested after seeing/hearing Fuller. But he got him there in the first place. Another thing is looking up Arnason's bio, he got an MFA in 1929 or the 30s. I thought he had innovated the concept of MFA when he was the chairman of the U of Minnesota Art Department. Not something that had been around for at least 20 years. But I have to be thankful for his Art leadership. I sure got a lot out of Walker. Hearing Fuller was major life inspiration. The shows I saw. Meeting Mel there. Working there in the Sales and Rental gallery. Having a one-woman show. Getting a Fulbright purchase award.

2018-10-17

On 2018-10-10 Hurricane Michael hurled over Florida near where I live. I had left home two days before, combining evacuation with a trip to Fuller Dome in Illinois. Art thoughts going on before this event are on hold. I was unable to publish on 10-10. Even though the storm missed me, it is affecting my community deeply. But for me personally, the dome is the bigger impact. I have two new missions. One is to understand why Fuller Dome is missing from the bio and history of R. Buckminster Fuller. More importantly, I'm designing and plan to make a Fuller Dome Yoga Mat. This graphic circle will complete the image of the sphere, so I feel really within earth. I have started a page celebrating my visit here.

2018-10-12

I spent the day in the dome. In the evening I attended the Buddhist Meditation in the Dome with Light of Compassion Buddhist Society led by the Venerable Haewan Sunim. He is the head of the St. Louis Zen Center. Upon starting meditation, instantly there was a kind of confetti of tiny flurries of sticks, like fairy CLBs. I thought they were trickster thoughts distracting me. Sort of pixie energies. But I got the overwhelming feeling that the dome evokes colors for me. I think I did color blooming while feeling levitated. All bones and flesh aerated, porous, weightless, but color booming. Ballooning.

2018-10-11

I opened to Fuller channel of light. Light spirits feeling. Column reminding me of Georgiana's parting. In it I'm seeing runes or munes. Will do color healings for cemented connection and to do yoga.

2018-10-10

On 10-08 I left home, driving north from 6PM to midnight. Stayed in AL. On 10-09 drove to Marion, IL. On 10-10 I arrived in Edwardsville, IL. That morning's dream was like coming upon a biological evidence that we've not understood. A little cell or aspect of it as a life we have not known. I have come to research it better.

Writing that, the dream was symbolic, not having the meaning in it. It is how you react. It is that coming to Fuller's place that he tried to establish for his spiritual and sustainable vision has a biological aspect to it. My cells are in attention. Perhaps on the grounds. Today, honor the grief that your way of life is not only damaged but is like death. But today you can connect with the psychic aspect of Bucky, the great visionary meditator.

So the dream guidance is to look not so much for structure as for DNA. Genes. Is anyone there that was in touch with the land before building and what has been done to it. That is, in touch with the vision and Bucky's part in it.

2018-09-30

I have several questions about two-way circulation. First, how do I do it? Two focuses at once? Will it be as easy as learning to do things with my left hand? Then, if it is possible, why do I even need to try? What good is it? What is the purpose? I have accepted this idea since designing Wholeo. But I didn't write then. The idea could have stemmed from the nadis, the currents that wind left and right around the sushumna, the central column up the spine. In fact, an art historian would probably attribute it to that.

But for me, I honestly think it came straight from me and I recognized the similarity in the ancient yogic system. I had these intuitions, vague, but sustained when they formed patterns with each other. The fact that others have had them and formed cultural systems with detailed articulation was like finding a ladder, a tool that affirmed mine. But over time, I've tried to stay true to the inner. I've gone beyond, seen these things differently and discarded tools that distract from what I'm seeing. The specific problem I'm having now is about the mechanics of affirming visualization. I can easily imagine a single sequence along a path. But can I imagine two discrete sequences?

2018-09-25

Thinking of a cartoon artwork of one of my fish in the lake with a thought bubble: "Can one do clear-thinking in a murky pond?"

2018-09-24

Terrific arch pano from the backlit dawn cloud arching over the gulf to full moon territory, which was banked in with sun pinked huge cloud.

I stopped for meditation with dune dip resting birds. Did pearl drops but the main thing was earth current, the level, and the two intensifications received at FE (Follow Equinox 2018).

Now to meditate for Leo. Elo. Death day. Full moon and Public Lands Day. What a profound experience. Need to do healings for color to know more about visions of spiral coils springing up from the palm of each hand.

Saw breathing in the god cell, individual development in Wholeo dome. Profound beauty, meaning, energy, communication with spirals both ways. See the MET like that. (Note previous vision of MET generated CCW.) Pinnacle end of meditation was seeing another MET spiraling the other way. Do not know if have seen this before. But when did it, NRG completion and the final sound.

I talked to Elo. I started by pondering attachment to life which furthers the love connections. Inevitable drawing near and losing and drawing away. Back and forth. Remembered breathing to you through umbilical when you were born and turned from blue to pink. They took you away. Next memory is driving with Pirsigs through mountains of Montana seeing moonlit inner pool, moon and clouds and grief. Next getting you from adoption, driving in the car, holding this bundle of pure love. So happy. Did my body miss you when you left? Yes.

There are stages. Seeds were an important time. Seeds for Florida consciousness especially. But US. And world. I began talking out loud and it helped. Earth current. Public lands were important. There was a sentence. What was it? Keep your public lands. Whatever your stand, keep your public land.

2018-09-23

By 2AM I was packed up in my car ready to leave the campsite. Sad to lose the night and my favorite time, sunrise. I had planned seeing it in my kayak on the lake, floating between it and the almost full moon in the west. But I had plugged in, connected and steeped in earth currents. So I drove away in the dark forest, fully recharged.

2018-09-22

I had a vision of some sort of ziggy zaggy light being. See drawing, moving incised textures. Also a drawing of thread and bead beings. Did these in night in moonlight. Moon! Big subject of night. Wakeup. Merged in earth current. Such a satisfied feeling. I must give myself a least one sleep outdoors on the ground , tune-in, plug in, swim, a year.

Enjoying coffee, granola, banana as sun blazed up, lighting up the forest.

Saw a strange hallucination. Like a little blue figure running along lake edge. (More than one, like six.) Looked closer and saw two or three more. They were not a kayak or SUP.

I saw lightning glimmers and heard rumbling. Wasn't sure if or how cloudy might be. Every once in awhile I'd see a star. One point several stars in lacy net of branches. Webbed starlight. Entrancing.

When it got to the west there was a glaring hole in the trees where moon light like a spotlight. Got a thought of moon bathing. Something about the soft ricocheted carrier wave from the sun modulated by everything it passes through encounters moon and reflects. It is soft because of the complexity of diverse info it has gathered. I laid on my back for that. When tired turned east, back to sun, but could see the light dimmed with trees or clouds after that. When woke again it was the darkest part of the night. Few cars. Fish house lights off.

One feature of the moonlight was how the wet NE arm and the lake water glowed. It was like being on an illuminated plane. But with moon gone, lake blended with land. time was 4:15. Moon set at 4 explains it. Went back to sleep until after 4. Loved that period of black silhouetted trees. Firm framework uncertain lighter background.

I've been tripping on dew or raindrop sparkles. First wonderment is when catch the tiny dazzling sparkling color transmission seeming to be a signal. Wonderments of dew drop dazzling is when realize I found this tiny pin prick of light in the relatively vast field. I would say that all of them alternate with all colors of rainbow. Most have lively variety. A few stay on one color. I had an intense red hit this morning.

All the sensations of this life are energy-generating for something else. I just paid attention to a blurry grinding noise and got that info. It's not about analyzing, identifying. It is about witnessing and using your ability to pay attention. It is a generator. Have never seen life like that. Is that my FE goodie?

At 8:30 PM I sat to meditate for the Follow Equinox at 8:54PM. Roots: Moon > Figure sitting on Earth> Sun---> Diagram of celestial alignment along sun's path around the galactic center. Pain of ribs, knee could hardly stand it. But at near equinox time, I had two separate and different convulsions that were undeniably powerful. No wandering thoughts. Felt the tumultuous shaking patterns served to hammer or forcefully manifest the aligned balanced intention. Harmony is not always pretty. It can be perilously maintained at great cost.

At about 10PM as I was enjoying the night sky of stars twinkling among the treetops, suddenly bright lights came flashing from the parking lot, motors, pounding, lights racing across my tent over and over. I would go to sleep, but firecrackers at 11, with constant roving lights, by midnight I knew it was over.

2018-09-21

Unsure of when to go camping with the forecast of thunderstorms. I feel the camper-equinox, meditator-forest, ground-loving cells lapping at me like, "When are we going? Cmon, stop sitting here. We have today's adventure to do." So I packed up and headed out to beat the storm.

Wow Timing. (See also Mystical Camping/Follow Equinox 2018). At my campsite, I put up tent and got gear into it. As I picked up the last stuff at the car I saw drops on the black fabric. Loaded up and walked AFAP as fast as possible to tent where I had piled two other loads. Did catch some drops but unzipped door, tossed everything in. Jumped in and zipped myself shut. In. Shut in. Hot. Dry. Unwind. Open windows and find that there is a cooling breeze from S rain and straight down. Seeing rain circles on the lake surface brings great joy. This is the most poetic thing I have ever done.

I feel so in tune with Hui Neng, Mu Chi, and Liang Kai. With Sesshu in Japan. These Zen painters were in nature like this. With a rooftop here and there. With a vehicle. Well my 30A traffic or a motorboat or something says oil-powered vehicles that were not there in the Sung dynasty. I love the light green of the NE arm of E Lake. Overgrown with invasive cattails but making a swath of ally green through the forest.

I want to live here forever. Pouring rain. When started meditation went right to a snowy plover south on the beach, with helmet, lichen, pearl steps, drops, up in cone to star and original face before born. Then looking down like a porthole view but all around, infinity sign with torus surround. Circulation, infinity, MET torus. It is good out here, connected.

All afternoon I sat in rapt awe of nature all around me. Rain paused, I walked to the lake edge to see sunset and the almost full risen moon.

2018-09-20

Meditation. The pain developed around the bottom of right rib cage. Could not find muscles to release. Stood it. Lots of thoughts. I did a WK visualization which led to a non-localized heartspace. Not divorced from the cone clumping or mrunes or green windings. Not separate from my body heart and circulation. But unified. It seems beings are really not these bodies and structures. It seems I'm building something that seems ephemeral to me but is what my life is about. A sense of other beings, just colored light blobs. A lot of exuding healing and love. Not something that takes effort. It is more like realizing the nature of consciousness, paying attention. One clear thing is that it can't be expressed in any medium in my time and place. It is just an experience. The only use it is is to be happy and to use ability to feel. Not sense.

2018-09-19

Life is the adventure of balance in growth. To grow we have to explore, learn, practice, become adept, and overcome that addiction to explore anew. Any stage can become an addiction.

What really excites me is how similar a web science page animations of creation of black holes is to my thoughts and animations of the Noint Joint, our interface to the undivided. I feel so supported in my visions, confident that they are insights into reality. How to see into reality via the unreal?

2018-09-18

On the beach in DLSP a snowy sat in a dip in the sand on the edge of the dry. There is a mini-cliff that slopes down to the water. Birds below the cliff aren't in my view, that is, they can't see me, since I'm walking by the ropes. I stop. Fantasy of communication starts. It's the lichen pearl step conglomeration holy waters ground implanted that are the source of bubble streaks of energy up our bases. Seeing all the psychic structures, energy flow. The progression is concentration, visualized as the star sparkle green growth whirls with language mrunes and glyphs. I get an A of unknown significance.

The snowy is swimming in a kind of liquid layer over the ground that is not part of my reality. It seems like it is as different to air as water is for me. I rested in meditation and camaraderie. I should just sit down. I just stood where I stopped, with a few digs and swivels of feet into sand to get away from the flies. At one point aware of a slightly curving down field of something raining down from upper left, which would be east. It was all over, not localized. This could be replenishment of the bird layer. I'm not in deep meditation. I mop the sweat from my face occasionally. I notice a couple of other birds nestling in dips along the edge. Not sure if they are snowys or if they are part of this. Finally my partner gets up and races near the water to forage.

Melted meditation. 20 min. When over I could hardly move. Took some photos. Did not want to stop being a cup of bliss, a chalice. Still feeling it. Can testify to being aware of thoughts, like plans for posting or art or messaging or something. While at the same time focusing on pineal remembering that it is a lantern. Flashing. Created some kind of an elongating rising curved in cone with a tiny ball atop and as it became operative the ending chime came. I laughed at the synchronicity.

2018-09-17

Back on the beach there were sanderlings. One of them was kind of cool. Another bird was a snowy, I could tell because of the short beak. I don't remember seeing a snowy out that early when it was that dark before. I stopped. It ran quite a ways, then stopped. The first thing I felt was energy through my feet. I didn't want to be too overwhelming so I stood there. Then I felt the lichen. And the blobs of light pulsing up. Through our legs. Then the streaming began. I even got a little hit of our cone language. Streaming wOs. I felt that was really good. Then the bird went over the sand edge to the shore and started eating.

So I wonder if it only lasts less than a minute. When in it, seems timeless. O, right after the light pulses, there was was field of black holes, gathering it in, pulling in the nets. I saw a new phase in the ISWC. It was at the peaks of the light pulses, little ziggy zaggies. I said like the balance mrune. But it was a spurt up out zig zag zigs, about 6 then in and spurts. Varied, like the drops that fling up from a wave surf just before turning over. zigitPfszt! Sizzle. Spit. I got that the snowy and I were both aware of that.

Had a couple of ISWC sessions. I was coming back and saw a form up the shoreline that looked like a paused snowy. I wasn't sure, but I thought it was worth it to meditate together anyway, just in case. I know I saw something new. That might have been when I got the zigits. After awhile I continued walking until quite near it became obvious it was just clumped seaweed.

I wonder if I'm dying. So low energy. So hard to move. So hard to do anything. I keep thinking there must be something to eat, but mind can't think of any remedy. Is this what blood not getting through veins and arteries feels like? Maybe cells aren't getting the oxygen and nutrients they need. I can imagine this getting worse very gradually so that when I lose consciousness, I don't even know. I can also imagine it feeling like a heart attack when totally cut off, my cells screaming out.

2018-09-16

Looked at color healings and did pre-Follow Equinox meditation of 10 minutes. Saw mini polka dot black holes everywhere. Gathered them, like putting fingers in netting, went to earth center, went to galactic center, went multi, all galaxies. Was everywhere. just aware. At first aware of life forms in my place, interspecies meditation, it happens. No judgment, issues, we just do it. Also at beach.

There was something special, different at the beach. Part of it was the power coming up through the feet. See it like bubbles of gas escaping in liquid, into the snowys. Or an internal light show, lava lamp. The light shapes as big as the crystals, but up through leg shafts, illuminating or informing bodies. Also there was a time of solidarity with something about earthiness, earth consciousness that I shared with others.

2018-09-15

I have not been doing daily meditations. I started today with five minutes as a pre-Equinox meditation. I'll build up each day to 30 or 40-minute sessions on the Follow Equinox. Entered body bliss which is still on.

2018-09-14

An episode with a sanderling. Had camera movie on so zoomed to see if snowy or what bird was just standing there. Not a snowy. But still. Reminded me of the long meditation recorded farther east previously, days ago. I got aggressive, it seems to me. Visualized deer lichen underfoot, then drops merging. Slowly seeing streaming and cone. Some time with brain cells, wOs rising. Almost as if I was saying what to do with five brain cells, with side thoughts of what would that possibly mean to a shorebird? Felt the glyphs and mrunes streaming down. I became impatient. Realized I was doing one-way. How can make this more mutual? Got hieloheal. Expanded meaning of mutual dual to unity. I'm still impatient. Side wondering if it was because I was weary, wanted to get home or just unable to get into meditation. Turned to look at the sun and there was that same angle. Wonder if video was still on. Bird still motionless. I thought maybe I could do walking meditation since I was inland. Or maybe the bird was looking at sun. My movement broke the spell. Bird turned west and walked up the shore. We did walk along mutually until the inoutfall where there was an adorable tiny toddler with parents. Bird flew ahead.

2018-09-12

I don't remember when I started being aware or suspecting interspecies communication. Was it when I tried to convey friendship and love, a spiritual hug, when seeing them run or hide at my sight? No, it goes back to pearl-stepping, back to lake2lake, being Walking Lake, Glow Beams, Blessing Beach. Suddenly I felt this reddish, rustyish, maybe tannin-stained like the rich, deep liquid amber of creeks and lakes, powerful flow coming up my cambium, through my trunk and nerves. I'm rooted here psychically. These thoughts are where poetry comes from, but being an artist, I take them surreally. Knowing they are art fiction.

2018-09-10

The coastal dune lake Deer Lake is open to the Gulf where yesterday the sand land between them was wide and solid. Must fast forward to meditation. Best ever. So gradually got into it. I'm at the edge (metaphor, on edge, stuck, barrier, new, how to go forward?) and Bridgette appears, videoing with her cell phone. Hugs and repeated shared amazement at the change from yesterday. Effusive and then I spot a rainfall drape to the NE. And we both start doing photos. Did not talk after that. But once I looked and her eyes were closed. Meditating.

Yes, after I couldn't see another must-get photo, I sank from my kneeling position which I had taken when tired of standing, to the sand, knees bent to side. Not the best but I then began to melt, very slowly, gradually. Watching the white egrets chase each other, thinking where are my snowy plovers. The sun so blasting that needed to lower gaze until eyes almost closed. Went through a stage of thoughts, until became aware of that and went into intensity.

Blazed with inner sun intensity, so grounded, so flowing in change, so much each cell was a lake with opening to the Gulf. What a metaphor for enlightenment. The small self body of water, drawn to the sea. The sea breaching the barrier to rise into the small self. The exchange, the oneness, the union. The Yoga. Then I tumbled, like the crumbling edges of the sand banks, dissolved into crystal granules, into the joy of it. The bliss of it. The unutterable gratitude. Every part, aspect, detail anything in my consciousness just opening to such happy thankfulness. With that effulgence, I've felt before, and struggled with, as if white river rafting and the raft is going upstream into high joy aware surging, each wave more intense, more blissful. Life, you don't have to come down.

Writing this, I'm sure this is the place for an enlightenment school. Zen, Yoga, Chi Gung, chants. Right here on this public beach, sing it. Dance it. If it doesn't become a business, do it yourself. It is the best. Buddha had his Bo tree and cave. Pick your spot. It is getting hotter, eye sockets bleached with light, knees tweeting tweaking itching to twich. I see Bridgette's cup is gone. Gradually I get up and go.

2018-09-09

Snowy plover coming at me from west at end of park, before inoutfall. I blur, trying not to look at it. Full all action images of drops, wOs, spirit coil action. Kept coming. Looking at me. Stopping every 5 steps or so. Always pointed at me when stops but generally going ahead. I feel like an incoming wave impact, plover sending at each stop. But a link/latch kind of ACK. v=i/r. Electronics.

During this punctuated advancement, I was just present. Visions are thought forms. In presence there is only intensity as thought form. I turned my head to stay in sync. A turmoiled sanderling came at plover in attack mode, whereupon a huge clunk of some massive psychic delivery to the whole beach. The beach, ground, land, shore responded in acceptance by a kind of lifting, tensing, knitting ability to achieve, no receive. to achieve reception. Perhaps it was more like jaws closing, each side has an active and a passive aspect. Sometimes a wave crash sounds like that but today waves and wind were minimal. As the sanderling kept chasing the plover out of sight, I learned multi. It all happens all the time. There need be no special event of stopping, staring, and special action and recognition. To cog is to think. To recog is to think something over.

Not sure but it feels like today's transmission of interspeciesness is to value, consider, and perhaps feed the all the time unconscious possibilities of it. Could the movie be a painting? Do it in Photoshop as image, not Premiere as video. I can see the visionary aspects. I can't see how the snowy and I would fit in. On left and right? So we would be side views and the visions would be front views? Or human large outline foreground with visions middle-ground and plover far. Ka-chungk.

No one, nothing but pure sand. So gorgeous. Got the feeling of the round earth by seeing the sunlight on the tops of clouds over the gulf. And our movement as the earth's shadow moves down to the sea water. It is not the sun rising at that time, it is the earth sun space relationships that are drawn so clearly, felt so integrally, solidly.

9-7?

2018-09-06

In sharing ISWKW (Interspecies Woman's Kundalini Wholeo) experience about the snowy plovers I realized one principle I have under-reported is the feeling of equality. No feeling that I am bigger or more advanced with respect to our engagement with this activity.

2018-09-05

At the moment feeling so much like a snowy plover. Limited in physical size, life span, actions, capabilities. But in touch with unknown spiritual and psychic beings, abilities, evolutionary paths so beyond what is rationally evident. I dislike the concept of guardian angels and spiritual hierarchies but have to admit to benefiting from unknown occult forces, assets, and resources.

Today started a page for Interspecies Woman's Kundalini Wholeo Communication.

2018-09-04

Main need is to invent a way to visualize my visions. The way I used to do drawing and then do it in FrameMaker. I'm so stuck with the difficulty of quick movie making. Finding the assets is huge. Drawing online is huge. Animating in pp is huge. Overwhelming sense that size doesn't matter. As for presence, I feel completely equal with them. It's a lichen through the feet thing. Here I would draw the drops underground, like a psychic groundwater and acquifer. With lichen mirrors and iSun reflections that are earth thoughts. and us as invisible feelings of presence that when contiguous in loving consciousness. 'm thinking that I can use this sequence for the whole set if isc interspecies communication. It needs a modifier or word to signify advanced or transcendent or evolutionary or spiritual or healing or wholeo. ISWC. Interspecies Wholeo Communication. Wholeo standing for all the beyondness of our visions.

2018-09-03

After photos of a non-snowy to west and another to east, I say, the longest meditation ever. Most complete. Not with a snowy. Just stood there. Five minutes. When over, it walked around me, flying up beside me, flashing its wings as it passed behind me. We're done.

It started out with a drop. Then wholeOOspheres. Gold. WK with the cone animation that I never made a movie of, of munesigns flowing down into the ground. They're being stored under here. I'll do healings today to get an inkling what they're about. The circles that come away from center are like our spirit coil, our natural way of connecting with aspects of aura. These movements are out from the ball of green growth, icons and glyphs in the cone connected to the star. They rotate out maybe three different ways followed by the head-spin, which is sort of a mind, inward. The rings are outward and the twirls are inward. Then there was a connection to iSun and the lichen. There were twinkling iSuns all over the whole field. Reminding me of Our Lady of Guadalupe's mantle with stars on a blue background. I stood there. Kept doing that. Just got into meditation.

Later I meditated with a snowy, maybe BRK. It was ahead of me, walking towards me, not eating. Centered in what for us would be the tan tien. In the center, I saw Geome, the crystal.

West of the park boundary, by houses, OO appeared 12' in front of me. Blue vibes, whole line coming down, three tiers, all vibes leaning to the right. Dull navy blue. Interspecies Communication.

2018-09-02

Met a plover. Monumental snowy circler. When I saw this snowy I stopped. It kept coming toward me. Then it stopped in one place. Bobbed head up and down (which I mimicked). It went around in a small circular path. It went around right and left. And right and left. I have never seen snowys pivoting like that. To me, showing that they finally got it. Interspecies communication.

I visualized streaming. Drops below. wholeOOspheres coming up. Up to the cone. Unexpectedly, all the green growth coiled, rolled up together with the glyphs. Then saw all the stuff that had balled up together, expand out in orbiting paths. Audio: swishwhoo swishoou, around out center.

Two other bird encounters. See another snowy. it is KW//O://O that I call OO. Great shot of it with two other birds, to either side. She sees me and stops sharp short. How absolutely endearing. Non-breeding plumage. Have got to do a slo-mo of her twirling head in circular motion back and forth. I'm reading that as a variation of the running in circles message. Convinced these plovers are spiritually connected messengers. And we are doing interspecies communication. What does the tail flip mean? indicate? signify? signal? Tail is down, then back and forth two times. Snowy turns around and runs west.

The last might have been a not-plover. The middle one was OO I've lost it. Seems like I did the WK up to the ball and then flexed the orbits. Seems like OO paid attention and we did this for awhile. Then it walked by me to the left, in water edge but flew when parallel with me. Did I look back? I did at one point, to get photo. Maybe the first.

OO again. Is inland from me. I think I was communing. Then after a minute, I turn to left, west, and see BRK in non-breeding plumage. He runs toward me. I think I was communing but can't remember content.

2018-09-01

I'm seeing more about the flexible hood. The closed state is where the arcs of the hood are flexible, wavery, kind of spaghetti-like. I can't see how that relates to my head. Possibly indicating to me the spiritual, non-physical energy-like nature of the structure. Or that physical is more able to be modified than I think. When I see the shrunken state it doesn't show the head. Possibly meaning that it is the difference between an active hood and an inactivated state.

When I become aware of hood, it feels energized, like blowing up a balloon, inflated, smooth. Thinking about one message from the movie Arrival, that when you learn a language you start thinking in that language. If my visions are significant as a way of thinking, does that have an indication that my terms should be consistent and I should try harder to teach others? That thought brings up an antithesis that it is not the content of my visions, but teaching others to have their own that is of greatest value. A method Eliz followed in knowing how closely this movie modeled my experience and directing me to see it. Maybe that isn't antithesis since both are facets of valuing visions.

2018-08-31

On way back saw a snowy plover maybe 35' ahead of me and stopped. It stopped. Held positions for quite awhile. Earlier I had kept tuning into Blessings Beach, grounding, lichen-rootedness. Sensed a hood that squeezed in, with flexible ribs. With plover I felt the drop flow through aura down, the wholeOOspheres rising up, the two way flow. Then the cone, particularly with the green swirl, icons and glyphs. Seems I'm lacking names for some concepts. But we traveled up to the star.

Something about the yellowness, no, five-pointedness that is so important. Culmination was that the star enlarges and approaches, becomes more approachable and everything gets balled up, in a winding sense as though our linearity is maintained, even when wrapped. It feels like a symbol of connectedness. Not that our story setting is collapsed. But we can experience it concentrated in shrunken curvature. The smaller and the curlier, the closer, the more we comprehend. Interspecies communication.

Then the plover began to eat and proceeded toward me. At each of brief pauses glanced my way but not concerned. It got quite close then veered to water edge and flew when it got beside me. I didn't look back. Did not detect bands.

2018-08-26

Woke at 5:06 out to see full moon almost get to the horizon. Nice clear view of a favorite star, Sirius. Sun was not visible at top of ramp at 6:04 but did appear behind trees at 6:21. Enjoyed taking photos and watching the moon and sea progress as I walked the beach east. First photo at 5:33. Last at 6:09. Coming back the light reflected on the Gulf water was almost equal to the light on the sand. Tried to catch that in video.

Saw a snowy plover ahead of me three times. I was doing a lot of lichen, drop, wholeOOspheres, and iSun meditation, so did not feel like trying to photograph and document which snowy each was. None stopped to meditate with me. Some kept eating, stopping, looking at me, and continuing. I stopped each time, but they eventually ran or flew around me. Disappointed.

Could I live on just air and water? My body is considering it. The visualizations on the beach started with the drops, like one overall, the flow down of numerous drops and the collection. Blessings beach is getting to feel like all the sand is a complete reservoir of channeled drops. Can imagine them constantly streaming up signals, with drops that are black on top and white on the bottom. Streaming up like a giant dish antenna. Might be an iSun reflector, that is illuminating and informing them from below. Sun moon path enabler.

2018-08-25

Biggest thrill of morning was two snowy plover encounters. Interspecies communication. First BRK looking east. Saw hood, lichen underfoot and iSun blasting. Feeling of intensity. I maintained until BRK ran across a puddle and started foraging.

Later I saw OO. Drops streaming down. Drops from hood big on bird completely enveloping bird, gathering in pool underfoot and soaking into out into sand. But then realized the other was bringing up from the root. That is, I was doing the streaming down. I could see it. But OO was streaming up from under, from below. I felt the flow, the feeling of the simultaneous action I had experienced by myself, but now done in tandem.

Encountered Bridgette on the beach again. We both are so grateful to be here even though we have been here for years.

2018-08-24

Enjoyed my new snorkeling gear at Williford Springs, which renewed my enagagement with its waters, depths, flows and spirit. My fins, snorkel, mask and cap worked to make me a fish with a clear view underwater. I saw a man fully dressed dive into the vent completely out of sight and emerge with two rocks that he studied. He told my friend Lori that he grew up here. He loves finding prehistoric fossils from the time when this area was under the sea. He had found a large prehistoric shark tooth. This reminded me of a January, 2013 hike here where we met a man with a similar story. That was before site restoration. He had been removing rocks from the vent and piling them on the bank to prevent erosion. Lori did not think today's man was the same as the one from 2013. See movie.

2018-08-18

A couple of new movies from morning walks on the beach. Rays at Dawn and Sunrise Beyond Rain are listed on the Deer Lake State Park 2018 page.

2018-08-16

Watched the movie "Arrival" with Shirley, a neighbor who identified the logogram language with the birth painting on the wall behind her. Strange I had not thought of it, the "Rings of Awareness". How true. We both missed a lot of the plot by not understanding the dialog. The sound in this movie is so spacial.

2018-08-12

At Blessings Beach I tuned in. Surprise, I saw an upright hood. I answered that with my downright hood. A snowy plover flew around me. When I saw another one or was it the same one, I said "good morning". One appeared in front of me about 20' ahead. I stood there. Communing at first without any visions.

Gradually I saw a hood. The plover had a bright crystal with glittering facets communing with my Ester liquid drop and mine's bigger language. They interact with each other. Liquid language. Interspecies communication. More like developing universal language. Universal spirit. Seed pod. This is weird. I had a distinct picture of the seed. I'm thinking dandelion but that doesn't seem exactly right. In fact I'm picturing a hemispherical seed pod from California maybe that has ribs like a hood and fringes here and there. Queen Anne's Lace. So many tangents. So little time to follow.

2018-08-02

My daughter visited me for the week. Made a page for our adventure in ink painting the raised wings of the pelican.

Thunderstorms were forecast for the foreseeable future, so we decided to drive to sun. We ended up south of Mobile, AL at the end of a long bridge on Dauphin Island. We went to three beaches, stayed overnight, and visited Indian Mound Park. Driving back through some formidable downpours, weather was fine at home from then on. New good snorkel gear enabled me to enjoy and do underwater video at Ponce de Leon Springs State Park. We watched a movie named "Arrival" about a linguist meeting beings from the beyond, speaking in fluid ensos that could only be comprehended in holding hands and doing it together. They taught her the Universal Language in logograms. Fascinating.

2018-07-26

Toasted sprouted corn tortilla covered with pepper jack cheese slice, sprouted garbanzo hummus made from scratch, avocado, topped with sprouted pumpkin and sunflower seeds. Test bite confirms deliciousness.

2018-07-25

Today is of course the Day Out of Time. As such, this note is just a placeholder. At the moment (theoretically Out of Time), I can't remember why I put it in Art/FL/Community since I'm solo. But I am responding to a communal call for a day of art.

Yes, I think I should do journal, even though that is so timey. Well from 7/15 I went here: https://www.facebook.com/events/842404092449779/ and found a diagram of a triangle like my coils up to out. Then read Hilda's post, rather skimmed it with the buzzwords of chakras, lightworkers, stargates, channeling, etc. and concluded with bringing the energy back down. This guidance is similar to mine. Definitely encouraging to pioneer on my own track which might be synchronous with others. This DOOT is only serving to emphasize time. Note "synchronous, synchronize".

2018-07-24

Best development artistically and evolutionarily is that I discovered a connection between iSunThesizing, deer lichen photosynthesizing, and the finger swirls that I've been adding to my EIEnor yoga. Don't know when I started the 12 minor (smaller than and contingent to wholeOOsphering) finger twists, which evolved to twisting down. Twisting large diameter down to small. Eventually, later I needed a series twisting up and it became small core spiraling twists up to large diameter. I feel that these intermediate twists are intermediaries between the wholeOOsphere and the down twists, so far unnamed. The names are harder to remember than the action or dance.

iSunThesizing breakthrough. I've been fine-tuning this yoga action as the cutting edge of my practice for weeks or months or years now. I don't know if it was last night or this morning that I realized the purpose of those finger twists. It is a human way of evolving energy synthesis. Not sure I wrote about it, but a couple of days ago in Photoshop, working on innerSolstice2018iSunCrkd6.jpg I was visualizing a way to see photosynthesizing energy. Was going to animate the five iSuns swooshing out, smearing elongating, fanning out, fading out. Not sure of how this related to human similar action. Until now I see it is danced in the finger twists of yoga. The five up, the five down, and the two finishing core up, down and synthesizing twists. I'm finding this difficult to explain accurately. Sequence is so important. The word order in the sentence.

When frustrated, the Facebook thought arises. Go there to see if anyone is thinking along these lines. Get distracted with trying to relate to what they are thinking about. Get excited by things that seem even remotely related to my focus. Sometimes even try to introduce my work flow. But so fragmented. So sequence jagged and out of order.

But patterns knit. Like seeing a reference to "Happy Noosphere Day", which I had forgotten about. Like seeing Noosphere in my web work and realizing that is integral to DOOT. And here we are prepping. Will tomorrow be artwork of it? Are the little suns in the deer lichen called energy exudes? Is that what my fingers are doing too? NRG Xuding. Like SYFY channel derived from SciFi to assert its specific ID, I have to derive from energy exuding. NRGx?

I decided to put the images in the Trips/Art/FL/community/educe/images folder. which is parallel to the Matrix2012 folder. Back then I educed a DNA strand. This iSun light generation is a similar development. I should say that nothing I'm doing is completely logical or justified so one decision is probably no more solid than another. If I had any other hands to be on, I would take the hand stand that yes, each decision is rock solid, a stepping stone in the Wholeo world that gets better, finer, more complete, more fun adventure all the time. I love it when things gel. Even better when they synergize.

Just before I left to see the bizarre yet art movie "Sorry to Bother You", I had another puzzle piece fit in. The 12 parts of the iSun, year and months and educing iSun light. Five fingers from Jan-May up from small to large circles, like dish antennas, sending to June/GC Five fingers from Aug-Nov down from large to small circles, like ear phones gathering. See the vision.

Gosh Galactic Synchronization 2013 is a great movie. Love it. Today it will not display on the page. Have to click Vimeo or YouTube.

2018-07-22

Drawn to Law of Time, the continuing up and up messages and then ka blunk the horrifying (to me), should say defeating, obfuscating, energy-wasting, obscuring, divergent so-called Mayan calendar.

2018-07-21

I have had various what I call computer anomalies, where inexplicable weird things happen. Today associated grief with the fonts was when I tried to log out of web mail. It just hung. Didn't close. I hit the button again and it went back to what looked like a copy of the login screen, with a blank for the password field. That has happened before and I do not know the cause, the origin. We are so far from being grounded. We are floating in the ether. Grasping at webs of unknown date, time, place and spiders.

On TV a Verizon ad guy says something is a metaphor. Someone in the crowd says "simile". Ad guy replies, "Well played!" Wondering how many people understand this play. How does this sell? They pay a lot for this ad time by top commercial advertising people. I've forgotten the message of the metaphor/simile. Now for the dictionary. Metaphor comes from "to transfer" and is a figure of speech applied to something that is not literally true, such as "I have fallen through a trapdoor of depression." Simile is a figure of speech that seems to be a metaphor applied to something to make it more vivid, such as brave as a lion. A figure of speech is a word or phrase used in a non-literal sense for rhetorical or vivid effect. Are there other figure's of speech? So metaphor is rhetorical and simile is vivid? Now to look up rhetorical which I bet means non-literal. So what is literal? We don't know. We literally do not know. The condensation on the windowpanes of my brain is about half gone.

Now looked it up. A simile uses a word such as "like" or "as" for the comparison. But a metaphor doesn't. Love is like X (simile). Love is X (metaphor). And there is analogy which implies that the objects are alike in some way. GRR. My roaring is lion-like.

2018-07-17

Now iSun cracks then breaks open with psychosynthesis. Looked up the word and it is definitely taken as the synthesis of different aspects of the personality. What I'm getting today is that I am working with a spiritual light source iSun in combo with the photosynthesizing abilities of deer lichen to produce some kind of energy. I feel like I know the answer. It is to fuel evolution. Or evolutionary capabilities. Yesterday I Google searched wholeo.net for deer lichen and still didn't find exactly the lichen tips where I feel synthesis happens. So I don't yet have the elements of a movie or photo. I did start a promising graphic of the solstice sun breaking up over iSun.

Drank some new tea and it has that smoked quality I don't like in tea. Mountain Tea, too bad. However, later when looking at leaves of trees beyond my deck, I had a dual feeling of transforming and being intimately energy-connected to each leaf. A stimulating, slightly unsettling sensation of cellular evolution. Wondered if there were some psychotropic substances in the tea? Or could it have been from clarifying the iSun evolution, and doing it?

2018-07-16

Aim to have bed made because I'll be too tired to do it when get home. I'm having more empathy with my grandparents now that I'm their age. I used to wonder why they thought it was important and interesting to write about what they ate for dinner. I can't even remember the other boring details they chronicled. Mother used to read us the letters and they all sounded the same. But here I am doing the same thing. For me it is trying to get a handle on things that are increasingly difficult and also intentional.

2018-07-15

Now to brainstorm DOOT. Obviously this is a specious endeavor. The DOOT is explicity defined in time. {Note: continued this on the page: Day Out of Time, 2018.}

2018-07-10

I want to write a book called, "Evolving With the Times", the story of an artist becoming a technical writer as the computer internet wwweb comes of age. I'm thinking of the 1980 mesh of my needs to make money and jump start my left brain technically, coming from being a dropped-out artist into the computer industry starting up with communication needs to train a workforce.

I'm thinking specifically of the 1986 human relations guy, the personnel expert in hiring people, how his insight affected what I still do every day. That is, communicate via the networked computer. His company was Raynet. What a visionary name. A startup of Raychem the successful industry based on radiant transmission cables via chemistry. Proposing rays of communications via a network. He was the PR guy tasked with staffing a start-up where no one had done the jobs before. He had to predict the capability from their previous resumes. What a key figure between past and future for the people in the industry.

I applied for a job as an electronic technician. He looked at my entire life, not just my recent education and job experience. He saw a creative person that was also successful academically. He needed someone smart. He saw an adventurous person who could build shelter and raise children. He needed someone flexible, adaptable, and pragmatic. He saw an open-minded person who could relate to different genders, ages, and cultures. He needed someone who was familiar with a mix of people especially because many of the engineers would be foreigners. So instead of fitting me to the advertised job description he proposed a job doing what I could become.

He said, "How would you like to be a technical writer?" No, that's what I heard. My journal says he said, "You are being considered for a position as a technical writer." The first mention of the words took me back to Bob Pirsig, my college journalist friend who on the way to becoming a fine successful famous author, was a technical writer. In 1958 when he described how his employer General Mills actually shot puffed rice from guns, neither of us would have predicted that I, too, could do what he was doing. I felt shot from a gun at the prospect. Since the job offered the money I needed to send my daughter to college, I took it.

I had no idea how the entire experience of Raynet would shape my life. Its internal communication was based on an Apple network of 50 Macintosh SE computers. I took one home in a bag to play with and learn on the weekends, which I'm still doing on iMac full time on my time. I had to learn a new set of apps and how they worked on a personal computer. Previously my job had always been on central, corporate, Unix-based mainframes. I had to learn fiber optics and the expansion of the telephone company transmission. I had to create a new document format based on the traditional AT&T practices. I had to visually model communication systems as they were being innovated, do flow charts of new activities. It was wildly creative in many directions that are still unfolding and challenging me beyond Raynet's and my wildest imaginings.

The variety of people prepared me for the global world we need to know today, for which many in my country are still not ready. Two people I interviewed and who were hired were from India and Japan. The head of hardware was Chinese. Ivy league and Stanford-trained type engineers were from the Midwest to the middle east, anywhere talent might came from.

He was Merrill Martin. I found records that matched his profession and location up to 2012. He started as an engineer, then studied Chinese. Got BA but a job in public relations. Finally he had his own company, Martin and Martin in Foster City and Redwood City, California. I'm so grateful for his creative thinking.

Next pivotal person at this time was the head-hunter. Aptly named in the jungle of Silicon Valley.

2018-07-09

Yesterday a plover landed in front of me three times as I went east. I said, "Let's do it" and tried to go above a cracked hard ball and with lichen produce energy from light. Tit tat blink bat on lichen tips. The plover runs, stops, eats, repeats.

2018-07-08

I am in post-storm orgasmic continuing thrilling high. I don't ever have to come down. Searched for the song by Sly and Family Stone. "Life. Life. Past the clouds. You don't have to come down." See the photo story of walking the beach in Sunrise Storm.

2018-07-07

I have been talking to my snowy plover friends as I walk the beach. Actual dialog: "You're supposed to tell me about the fungi and the deer lichen. Does it come down here to the water from the forest? I'm going to listen. I'm going to stand and listen to you. OK? {Pause} Gosh. I'm getting pink. Purple. Red flashlights. Did something happen? Oh but that's from the sky. Is that the way you see? Come this way. OK, I'm coming. I can tell how you walk over the sand how you get the information. Wow. Thank you for sharing with me. Such a good plover. I love feeling your vibes. You can tell where the water is. Where the land is. Yes. Well that was a big one. Yes. OK. Moving and the stopping. Move. Do you know about the broken iSun? What's in there? Is it deer lichen like? Can you feel that stuff coming down from the ...hmm? I hope I'm not bothering you but why would you be ahead of me if it's not OK? You have the choice where to go, right? It's so good to see you. We had all those weeks together. To you that's like 10 or 20 years. We have different time. Yeah, we do. Laugh. You go ahead. Do you know what I'm doing? You don't totally trust me do you? I could go down here if you want to stand up there. I could get down to your level. Down here. Oh it's rather wet though. Ummm. Ommmm. OK. She's my daughter. She's coming. I'll bring my daughter and you can talk to her. I can walk faster, if you want to walk faster. You might not get anything to eat that way. That was Sheila. She's a really good person too. You were going to hide in there. Laugh. There's not much to eat today is there? Maybe you are luring me away from the other birds. Is that what you're doing? I heard there was another plover up here. You dads here are so tricky. Deer lichen. The light. Should we do that again? OK. I'm doing it. Deer lichen. Light x. Well dad, you've done your job. I got your light message. I'm going to go around back now. Good morning."

Writing this, remembering the light codes, the lichen alga, the pearl step roots, how we are creating a signal or territory. How I wish I had recorded it. Getting fuzzy already. It is about a collaboration between people and plovers. And deer lichen and something like it that is their transducer. Are there fungi on the beach? Lichens? Or do they do it through the little stuff they eat? Our ACK of each other seems to be run, stop, look, eat, bob head up and down. Repeat this.

2018-07-05

Looking for feminine ray handshake, I see it on page 64 in On The Way To Machu Picchu. There are three parts. Two left hands do high 5. Shake left hands. Hold both hands together to the other's with left hand up receiving, right down giving. I know I had gotten this before I went to Peru. It was intended to be a recognition of sisterhood and a gesture of greeting. But I did feel it with the woman in Rosaspata, at Matrix. Seems to me in CA I might have tried to use this or teach it. Researching high five, it came about from 1977-1982, about the same time as my Peru involvement.

Today I committed to picking up trash on the SW corner of Deer Lake SP. It was a huge job with three large firework launchers, many water bottles and tiny scraps of litter. Farther east we had our first turtle nest of the year in the park.

2018-07-04

Morning musing about friends loving me because I am "cute". When I act spontaneously I guess it seems childish. I would rather be loved for being evolutionary. But that's not lovable apparently. So how am I evolving? Where does artwork go next? Tuned into iSun and found a broken ornament. It was just a shell. Like the round glass balls we hang on winter holiday trees. I thought it was a source but this finding says it could have been a reflecting bubble.

Devastating feeling similar to when I was in Iquitos, having come down from the Andes, from my lofty completion of installing the Feminine Ray and finished the Incan Tschiripaiya that ascended. Leaving me with what? My life branched off into electronics, mainstream career, being at the foundation of the web, the wwweb, and financial independence. But at the pit it was truly blank. One has to come to a blank to break with non-functional habits and climb a new path.

I did not anticipate that it would be this morning. Looking to the Hopi Hippie tablet. Should I try to make one? Could I use it to find a new path? Divination? ... I just came to, out of a reverie, finding myself in the endless hell of mother dying and all the decisions that have deep regret paths. Reliving them, trying to complete the alternatives. Ending with Mary Ellen calling from Grover City, mother's house when I wasn't home and the person who was there to care for her not realizing the phone cord was long and stretchy and she could bring the handset to mother in bed. Mother was too weak to come to the living room, so Mary Ellen could not talk to her. Why that? Maybe trying to find someone to blame except myself.

What is happening? So the pit isn't just a broken inner light ornament? The pit is with Mother's death? 1991? I guess at that time my art really went from hardware to software with my career. Any physical art item I made after that time was just a temporary ritual object. But that really started with electronics 10 years before that, back to Iquitos.

Maybe the flaw here is thinking this vision is like a previous experience. How go forward with fragments of the tiny sphere? "When the lamp is broken and the light in the dust lies dead." I remember reading that line from a poem in a big book of poetry that Hal Goodman gave me. I wasn't getting the love I wanted, I felt deserted, can't remember why, but it was in childhood home. Can't remember who wrote it. Can't remember why I did not move the book at some choice time, but donated it to a library or thrift shop because I was never reading it. Same as I let go of Moby Dick, my art guide.

The light is a point and cannot be represented. It did not come from the lamp. It does not return to dust. It neither lives nor dies. It seems like what we call "life" is a charade, a progression of stories entertained by awareness. An enactment. The point of light I'm entertaining is not living but it is still an element in awareness. It is this awareness to be.

2018-07-03

On beach walk I'm searching in vain for the two new chicks that Raya reported hatched a couple of days ago. Have not seen the parents either. I'm thrilled to see the fledgling and its dad, even though they aren't hanging together, whereas before they were inseparable. Now they each seem to know me.

In the video, I talk and he stands until I don't know if he's listening, hoping I'll pass, or wanting to say something. I listen for sound. Should have listened cosmically. If anything, I think he exudes well being, actually, life force. Is-ness. And something like the spark of iSun. I think this is why we humans are so drawn to these birds. They seem to have a spiritual truth between Zen and Unitarianism, where I dwell too. I walk around him. And he walks around me.

2018-07-02

I woke up at 3 with a persistent itch on my thigh. Nothing would quell it. Can't see a bite. I'm in rough shape if we go swimming. Weather looks like storm. Maybe just here, not Inlet Beach. But water connected. I'm so daunted by the messiness of my life. I keep looking at the weather map hoping the storm will disqualify swimming.

I'm getting more miserable every minute. I so hope this swim is canceled. I texted that I would not be disappointed if swim is canceled. However, when Emily called and said it was OK, I went. It was wonderful and I'm so glad I did. Wow, the Gulf water gives me that inner glee I experienced after swimming in the springs. Emily got some really fun video. I loved the attention I got when she posted videos and photos to Facebook, celebrating my "cuteness". Onward.

I slept for an hour but I can hardly do anything. Kombuchka is what champagne is supposed to taste like.

2018-07-01

Wow, got strangest sensation that the iSun is fixed and my body can rotate in any direction around it. Why? What purpose? I think emphasizing the more stable and permanent and solid and realized aspect of myself. Which is contrary to perception that a vision is insubstantial and transitory. Is iSun in fact becoming more solid, substantiated all the time? Whatever the description, I delight in it. Savor it. Appreciate it. Be it.

2018-06-29

Tuned into hard ball and found it well-defined, glowing, healthy in my view. It had a sense of spaciousness. Similar to moon in a way. It did not seem distant though. A different concept of space than I'm used to.

2018-06-26

Hard ball yoga. Walking to the beach, tuned into iSun and it was approaching fuzzy grapefruit size. I compacted, focused it down to nickel size, whereupon it became brighter and sharper. However, expanded aura size greater, outer body size, vaguer, softer, more encompassing. This seems to be a constantly changing procedure, requiring frequent attention. Developing attention skills and a different kind of light muscles. Hmm, does this have to do with the pineal? No. The brain cell TLMs? No. This is a new evolutionary path. New to me. Unknown how prevalent it is or its history. Basically what I'm coming to know is that exercising this kind of attention on hard ball light focus makes me more happy. It feels like chosen work. A quest. A journey. A path. An avocation that I'm privileged to be able to select, develop and try to record and communicate.

Torn between working on a Facebook post and my iSun. Once I've got the concept of two things (or just any one thing), I lose interest because the rest of it is work. My weakness is for the concept. I know that once I get into the work, sometimes I actually deliver by getting engaged and giving it my all. But that is to the detriment of the other great concepts I've entertained.

2018-06-23

From the book "Indian Country" by Peter Matthiessen is this quote "The Hopi await their True White Brother, who would return as a purifier to correct wrong-doers, carrying a stone tablet that would match the one given to the first people at Oraibi." Hopi, the peaceful ones, refers not to an ethnic group, but to an attitude and was melded with hip in the 1960s to form hippies.

If I were to make a stone to match the stone of the Hopi, what would it look like? Quick drawing.

Is to be made of fired clay. Black or void hole in stone started by an incised spiral. These raindrops are to be spoken or sung from left to right and top to bottom. This will sound different each time with each voice. Right arm wraps around back of tablet. Right fingers grip the left edge of the tablet. To be held with the Right arm from the right with fingers wrapped to top, middle or bottom notches. The left fingers can trace the cuneiform marks amplifying voice vibrations. A real object can be like a washboard or a zither. The fuzzy scribble area is a soft depression for corn or crystals or water in ritual altar horizontal mode.

A subset of the marks can be used repeatedly rather than the entire inscription. It is a song stone. Can be used for rhythm or rapping.

2018-06-22

I want to do dream review. That is, I did not wake up with or in a dream. I had a "notification". To fulfill my prayers of do mediation sleep and an initiation dream I could creatively channel it.

Damn, the boat has stopped. Pointing at my shore and emitting beautiful clouds of toxic blue smoke. How irritating. Please go away. Maybe testing my powers of concentration. Where is my hard ball sun when I need it? Just fishing, I guess. Like me, fishing for a dream. Look under water.

That's it. That is the initiation dream. The shaman sees this world as a drama teaching growth in awareness.

Engage. For example, see boat reminding of thoughts of persistence of actions on the natural world. Realize that's interesting and try to build on it. Get camera. Sidetracks. Do not get lost in tech of controlling the report. You will, but persist in getting through it. Endure the good, bad and potential of realizing your idea. But in there is the seed of true growth. For example, don't take it personally. The boat stopped and is pointing at me. All the range of emotions flared. Is he after me? I don't want to be distracted from my purpose. Get a fish for example. I get in my boat and go on the lake. I have a fishing pole with line and hook. Doubt. Go into sun. Inner light. Sun. The actual sun here is showing up. The whole opposite shore is dotted with white birds. The birds are singing. The greens are glowing.

Do not be distracted by world wonders. I'm fishing for dream initiation. Afrun, Jert, hieloheal are my helpers, guides, fishing. Requires patience, waiting, but no lax attention in recognizing a bite. Do I really have to know what I'm being initiated to? Am I seeking? Why am I here? To get a different perspective. They aren't birds, they are water lilies. Is the big boom thunder? Is related to the boats? Is military up here?

I have no bites on my fishing line. If I did I would raise my pole and pull something out of the water. "Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?" is the song playing. Referring to my always paranoia test of each new thing. Now a louder closer bang. Breaking into my cabin? Another noisier camper? louder closer boom. They continue. Bomb testing? I think this is initiation to death. Generally old age. it will sound catastrophic, unexpected. Even when explained it will (is) beyond my control.

Stay focused on your inner light. It is like a candle. But not, because a candle requires wax, wick, support. A sun is self-supporting and sustaining. It is not like any light man can control, produce or outwit. Not a light bulb.

ITD is initiation to death. Gosh this is fun being here. Not dead yet. The colors. The sun in and out. Rain starts and stops. Storm is happening at 8:07. At 8:55 Weather Underground can not come on phone.

It is light (buoyant) radiant (sourcing) without limitation. There is dark cloud overhead and more on horizon. This deluge has been a sweeping lovely marvelous crescendo to my retreat. I'm soaked with delight. Is all my writing completely narcissistic? Is my whole life one so long selfie?

Tan Tien seems to be tethered to iSun like a basket to a balloon. What are they called? But not hot air, the balloon is powered by iSun (inner sun). iSun. So is it more like the pendulum on a grandfather clock? Sun is the clock. Spine down to tan tien. Boat is trolling in the gray putting along. Does it stop for its own reason or best fishing spot? Or does it mean something for my initiation? Question is moot (mu) since it has disappeared.

Rocking chairs are the best.

Continuing to rain. More thunder.

I am changing my picture of myself (self image) to sunlight. A hot air balloon. Body is tethered basket of my cast of characters. May I remember the happiness of being a sun on a screened-in porch under a roof and being almost too cool in scorching Florida in a whiteout downpour of baptism initiation to eternal everlasting recycling rain.

Marvelously cool 9:30. Hot air balloon cords are cone. Black hole above tan tien and center point. Rain drops all around. No feet or foot holes and solid sea of drops under. This fish caught in dream initiation induction is as willing as the fish I saw as me when born. At first floundering out of water, scared. Then gasp breathing the air of change and leaping for joy It is a rebirth. That's all we humans can do. as iSuns we are, is, are, are not, are hard ball.

Reread pages 108 and 110 of WINA to verify how that vision of being born compares with this story. It is a great read. Yes this is a reenactment and also a progression from the flower of consciousness at the navel of birth. Quite some fish stories!

I remember some times in the cavern, just tuning into Gaia innards. Felt the closeness, the love, the connection, the acknowledgment.

2018-06-21 Inner Solstice

Have been awake since 4:21. Started meditation at 5, sitting in the porch outdoors. Have been enjoying the progression of light on the greens of this environment. Repairing torn relationships. Inner cave sun. Expanded in aura.

Am feeling and sensing and aware of this kind of round ball about the size of a nickel, in head. I have occasional wondering about top heavy with respect to hara, tan tien that still seems the most balanced, central center. Have to go beyond bodily centrality. Almost 10. Had a beautiful centered positive focused yoga after meditation. At the end it just got way too hot.

Two color healings I did this morning that seem so fantastic. I did use the EIEnor in yoga. Before that want to sum up the unresolved state generally. I got a dream and a second one unrecorded that seem like a notification but not an initiation. All I can deduce is that I'm notified but not aware of initiation.

I'm so transfixed by being here in this green, getting this sort of unitary centering simple message but how does that relate to WK? Have to acknowledge that the yoga pose I got after Leo died was to hieloheal the two top chakras, pineal and crown, in the Cave of Brahma. What does this singular target add to that? I could see it as a gradual growth, preparation, devotion, focus every day, but more or less on a cavity. Suddenly what is the opposite of cavity? Form. Suddenly a form. I have seen that in WK there is this black hole that is centering. Maybe the prep of the cavity is energized by the black hole. But there's something about this hard ball that has features of playing "hard ball" as in our slang, soft ball is for kids and amateurs but when you graduate to pro in big leagues, the ball becomes hard. Interactions more significant and difficult.

Plus I have been doing the WK centered inverse prayer mudra in association with the hieloheal that is dual in two ways. Each side focuses two centers into one.

Anyway the healings. Both purple, complicated. MCS 3 of one sign and 2 of 2 others. MCS swirl opposite (Nancy's birthday), time (1 of 2), being. Dynamic is (pointing into green mrune). Grab, tear, furtive, balance, lax (1 of 3). Lax, time/lax, furtive, avuncular, ding.

EIEnor. Buffalo, breakthrough. Bcone, Ben, Afrun/initiation (this seems so meaningful considering they were the two separate runes on 6-20). Spine. OMlulu prototets opposed with Jert (raisin) between.

Researching hieloheal. Think I've found the link with Woman's Kundalini. The original hieloheal picture has a drop as the focus. When I do porthole from the top, I see the drop as a sphere. It is simply concentrating the drop and removing it from bodily associations. The end result was a marble like hard ball, but this original vision was blinking light.

There's something about this inner sun that gives me a broad intergalactic point of view. It may be able to condense human detailed concerns and get them out of the way to see a broader perspective. There was a time of some kind of pulsing intensity. But mostly just there.

2018-06-20

Drove NE for a couple of hours to Florida Caverns State Park for a tour of the caves. Then drove farther east to Three Rivers State Park to a cabin with a screened-in porch by the lake.

The forest, grass, I'm surrounded with green. I have a view of the forest where I do yoga inside. 5pm doing yoga. Couldn't find yesterday's EIEnor color healing so did another for Inner Solstice 2018 Woman's Kundalini Night Before. Cerulean Blue. Amazing runesigns. 3 prayers, 2 meditations. Caroling, bcones (Ben), prayer. Not sure how to organize these yet. Hieloheal, meditation. Prayer, wholeness. Prayer. Jert-raisin, wholeness. Elobeing, meditation, Elizabeth.

Anyway, looked at the Woman's Kundalini and Porthole movie. Was going to loop it and I got that this initiation Is not about that. Be open to new or other or unexpected.

About the sun that I had never seen before. It is actually sort of focused on the glimmering shimmering water. It's the top. This is winking and blinking during my yoga. This brightness said "This is a reflection, a metaphor for the inner light that you can tune into." My mind went back behind my eyes, above the back of my nose, someplace in there was this sun that I had never seen (scene) before.

Opened to molten mud. Pure happiness. The inner sun seemed to be building something with me.

From meditation outdoors in the porch at 7PM: Crescent moon star. Molten mud. Experiencing Time is slow, so slow that the tiniest movement seems like a is jerk jerk jerk jerk. I'm so completely at peace.

Three prayers. Let my sleep be a meditation sleep. May the dream world be initiation. Another prayer is that I tune into the heat in the morning meditation on the porch. Third prayer is that my body accepts this craving diet. It already seems sickening.

This inner sun can speak in colors. Inspired by the trickling of the stream. Inspired to know that. Reminded of the red blue feet of WK. It seems so important to be so deeply happy. Just peace. Just... Maybe compared to lifetimes of not being happy, it is important to know when you are. I love green/gold, I've always loved green gold. I wonder why my back hurts. It doesn't usually hurt. Is it my posture? Is the language of the inner sun just about happiness? Bliss, loving, gratitude? Gratitude implies that there is something to be thankful for. Happiness has no object. It's not the result of anything. Feels like the iSun is building something.

I sat outside to type these meditation thoughts. Maybe 15 minutes and all of a sudden the heat got to me. Strange. There were a few fireflies. Wishing I could just be outdoors for it. Sleep out there. Feel too vulnerable and also hot.

2018-06-19

Best to write about insight awareness thoughts. At beginning of walk thinking back to the original porthole inspiration. It was about not looking from inside. About kind of what the zoom lens does: compact the view ahead, flatten it into a single plane. Thinking that the start of the movie goes into space and time slots sequentially, individually. But the end of the movie can be compacting into a single plane. Instead of leaving the body and going up. Or maybe after doing that can double back, like I'm doing now. Hey this is drawing all inward or so out it is beyond.

Maybe I could focus on an aspect, then squeeze it into an outer border, so end up with concentric circles of it. Or could make a patchwork collage of all aspects. Or could sort of superimpose them with blurred merges to arrive at a completely unexpected texture. See what happens. The idea is generally ouroboros or what is that name for the navel and the snake with its own tail. Two centers inward to me and outward to thee are the same.

About color healing before the solstice.  The runesign Afrun - Nodule is when you have a point of consciousness and you expand and then bring the results to the point. Related to gathering repressions. This actually seems so close to my purpose in the porthole of Woman's Kundalini. How do I show the results brought? Or the point? Is the point the center of the drop? The color of of the runesign Initiation is black. Dark. Black hole. The color of Afrun is the bright light spring green of the background, Svaeieia. So that the runestone is blended, invisible. Somehow portending, fascinating. How about the fact that the MCS healing looking forward is also a bright green with a single mrunesign, dual-pointed Is (being).

2018-06-18

A vision from the ramp walk. Feeling kind of disconnected from nature on a people-watching trip, I thought of past walks' here, where they were visionary walks. So I opened up. Immediately appeared a crown with many sharp-pointed, single-angled uprights all around. I'd say at least 20, maybe 30 points creating a kind of saw-toothed ring. Suggestive of vibes, rhythms, beats, and cycles of tuning in different from the Woman's Kundalini hood and cone headdresses of previous recent visions. Suggesting royalty, aristocracy, divine rights and other values and systems I consider separate from my direction. At loss for meaning although it must have to do with reception modified by the environment. It did kind of resemble a hole-cutting drill bit I could attach to my rotary drill. It might be what is needed to cut through obscuration when seeking truth connection in this kind of space. Don't know what to do with this image. Maybe when needed, will see use and application.

My heart area started pinging like the headache lightning earlier. Hand healing heat on chest to right of breast bone. Images of relaxation and expansion of blood vessels. Maybe not just in that area. Used rotary crown saw in imagination to open plaque in arteries. Careful to not nick vessel walls, just deposits. As of now pain stopped.

2018-06-17

There's a Facebook group called One Nation for the World that makes so much sense. It asked a question about what was your most powerful experience of nature. Was it mother nature? There were some great responses. The one that moved me most was giving birth in a hurricane on a boat at sea. Giving birth was one of my candidates for most moving. Fear of hurricanes and boats at sea would certainly intensify. There's that word. The intensity of meditation is maybe the most recurring power. But I think it is the thread, the adventure, the experience of the wonder of experiencing that for me seems to get ever more powerful. It is the whole thing that has power not in an instant but in a lifetime. Of course today I am in the grip of those tiny blips of light hurling themselves against the water, with the water, seems to be life at its edgiest.

I posted to Facebook: Inner Solstice 2018-06-21 Magnetize galactically in yogic union at 5:07 AM CDT.

2018-06-16

Had some dream about a transition set in the Woman's Kundalini movie (still in progress of development) where I absorbed the stored drops underfoot up into something like a body.

2018-06-12

Did the quarterly inspection of the monitored plants in Deer Lake State Park. Not too hot and did not get bug bites.

Have a little different take on Bourdain's transition. It seems like dying was the only way he could figure to get to the new age transformation aspects that I explore. Same as addictive drugs were the only way he found at the time when all it took for me was 3 LSD trips. His experience and path are true for many others, maybe a major factor in the downward spiral of the whole US culture.

But since he is here now and attentive, like he said breakfast in the messy kitchen was boring. My response was that this level of consciousness is acceptable because the highs are drug free. I wondered if there is a part of life of a human consciousness that does survive sometimes and even can reincarnate as a choice but usually is recycled in the dark sea of awareness. I actually think that humans are evolving. Also it could just be that my ideas are evolving and I'm using the metaphor of a Bourdain projected imaginatively to characterize aspects of myself. Both could be true.

Somewhere I had the radical thought that we all chose our own death. It is when our brains are full. Just like my phone. When storage was full it refused to work. Would not even show a picture when pushed the photo button. We just shut down. If we're aware of it we make the conscious choice and call it suicide. If not, we let the body do it and say it is natural.

Must note that any thought I have or express is provisional, trying out for possible truth status. All I know are possibilities.

Addiction is like one side of Velcro hooks, once there, permanently installed. So when some kind of neediness that led to the addiction in the first place arises, its Velcro hooks just slip into the addiction bond, and you're hooked. You can fight and deny it. You can hold forth logically about how little satisfaction is gained, if any. The addiction solution is not one, it is a false promise. But nothing will prevail. With me an example is ice cream.

2018-06-11

Anthony Bourdain killed himself on 6-08. He was a wonderful, honest, creative journalist who wandered the globe eating and exploring life. So freshly, they seemed like encounters with the big questions of life. I always watched his programs when I could. My daughter posted her feelings of loss to Facebook and I agreed in being angry. He was only 61 years old. There were memorials on the web and on TV. The main one on CNN, his sponsor, featured other hosts. I was looking for the story of how he worked with the team of people it takes to produce a video story. What about the videographers and the editors especially who shaped the expression I saw? The splash intro to the show was an artwork in itself. How did that come to be? I found Zero Point Zero, a production company, but no details.

12:45pm Spirit of Bourdain struck me releasing petals of life to all my cells. Not a why me? feeling. There is no limit or boundary to this kind of passing on. If the cells are attuned they vibe together. I did feel this ACK of the feeling of the heroin and cocaine journeys, the fame journeys, the power of money and influence journeys, all reincarnated in my cells, thank you. At the same time mine piped up to the way these things were true here in this caroling.wholeo locale. Seen like multi-dimensional graphs. Differing in intensity. What are the scales? Sphere of influence. Degree story is transmitted. Resonance with group experience. Length. Rapport. Telling stories honestly with all the pizazz of their origin. Awareness does this. Castaneda, the dark sea has creatures undreamed of in your dark depths of rapacious demands. Awareness is exchange, augment, intuitize. I'm having a caterpillar to butterfly kind of transformational evolutionary mind fubared total joy. Of all orgasms this one peaks in so many fibers of relationship to his trip. I bet Mel Geary transmitted on these frequencies but I don't remember ever being conscious of it.

Every life must zero at the end. Some lives shed such complex intensities to the field. I have to conclude that life has more permutations, possibilities, quirks, non-understood leaps than I ever imagined. At 3:56, I got the feeling that the personality of Bourdain was watching what I was doing. The impulse started with attraction to the mind that is free-flowing as drugs without the requirement of substance abuse. Not yet knowing of the evolutionary intention. Also the digital manipulation of images to tell mind's story. And because I accepted the challenge of the petals before. Everything is reciprocal. Now I share in seeing the tattering and piecemeal disintegration of his incarnation. I have no part in the action. Only an observer. Everything always exists except at certain scale it becomes undivided. And I can see into the undivided. By relating to my undividedness. This equation satisfies our loneliness.

I think Elizabeth has more talent for psychic spiritual journey than I do but still latent. Will her time come? He's still here. This reminds me of Tschiripaiya's walk-in to me that I wrote about in On the Way to Machu Picchu. Now I'm aware of entry. I feel I have access to Info that Bourdain is attracted to. But he has no commitment to the journey. He is a tripper, which I respect. He lighted match after match and nothing lit into a fire. I can see why his earth journey was over. He sure tried and brought the world along with. I see him coming from my left, attracted to the center, the blending.

2018-06-09

Writing this at 7:30 am having come to the peak of the morning's glee, wonder, pleasure, emotional moving high. It is the photos of the chick beak in the parent's feathers that is so heart-aching. It is about 27 days old. A few days to go until fledging. I published a series of 8 photos screen shot from the video of 12 seconds to Facebook. Titled "Find the chick". I'm surprised I did see that lump of feathers.

Pleased that Bonnie Samuelson asked to use my photos for training and for Audubon. Pleased that Raya Pruner gave the series a heart. Then Bonnie wrote on the last shot that it is one of the cutest snowy plover chick shots she has ever seen. Raya agreed. I'm glowing over the attention and acceptance. Basically that something that is heart-aching for me is also for others.

I'm shaky and tired. Wondering how many years I'll be able to do these kinds of walks. I hope for another 20 but yikes. Of course I always wonder if it is food, vitamins, clogged blood vessels, colon inflammation, digestion, or cancer somewhere? I'm shaking my head as I write this. My best intuition is that I'm gradually winding down. A great privilege in a lifetime. I am so grateful.

2018-06-07

One of many wonderful morning beach walks this spring, that are not too hot or buggy. When I got out of my car in the parking lot and started out, I saw the moon and composed a haiku:

Heron flying past
the moon. Birds singing in the
magnolia trees

Visited with Nancy at memory care where we got her started back on her computer with email. Despite memory loss, her typing skill is intact. Then took her to the ECMS steering committee meeting and meditation. We both decided this was our last night with them.

2018-06-06

Recognizing racism has many advantages. My walk is richer and more realistic. I appreciate the totality of birds on the shore. Not favoring one lets me see the previously favored one more deeply in all it's strengths and failings. I see the interactions and have more understanding of why they do things. Compassion is freeing. The world is free of my judgments. Also racism is a practice, which can be changed.

2018-06-05

Mulling over my essay on racial profiling. How it will become a thing of the past, like cannibalism. But how easy it is to profile and how hard it is to realize you are doing and even harder to overcome it. The way I view Snowy Plovers compared to the way I see Sanderlings is racist.

I photograph, track, and try to protect snowies. I hardly notice the common shorebirds. I disparage sanderlings for being so feisty, always flaring up their feathers to look big and scare anything in site, even me. They can go from placid feeding to bullying chase in an instant. Inexplicably stopping sometimes in mid fight. The amount of time and energy they spend on harassing others seems wasted. Wouldn't it be better spent on finding food? But that's my uninformed judgment. I'm even displeased that they seem to be doing so much better than the peaceful snowies, that are on the path to extinction. The contrast in their behavior seems counter to my values and expectations. I've felt this way for years.

Ever since I learned that snowies were the object of great attention from Audubon, the park service, Fish and Wildlife and the Department of Environmental Protection I've thought they were precious. The biologist behind park restoration said helping the snowies was a selling point to get funding. The snowies are banded as chicks and again as adults. Their numbers and sightings are kept in an online database.

This year, however, I've come to question my discrimination. It started when I saw the snowy plover father chasing off every sanderling in sight. Basically displaying the same territorial aggression that I had disparaged in the Sanderlings. True, not all sanderlings display that way, just a few that I noticed. Could it be that I just saw less snowy fighting because there are so few snowies?

Me and the sanderlings. Thinking about snowy and white and light values. Was I biased to white light, white, and light all my life? I equally love dark though. Unitarian bedtime prayer or invocation:

Day is done
the friendly dark has come
let us think over what we have done
the bad things to forgo and forget
the good things to remember and do again

So was I bred into introverted loving dark, sequestering, pondering? Or as an introvert, is this where I gravitate and honor?

I think I've been racist about shorebirds. And it is not serving me.

I spent outrageous hours all morning on one issue after another that displeases, depresses, concerns, or bothers me somehow. Ouch. Need to reset gratitude. I'm grateful that I care, can learn and can speak about all these things. I'm grateful that I can feel pain and consider how to go on bearing it, not running from it while doing what fills me with counteracting beauty, hope, progress of some kind. I need to feel some sense of evolving improvement.

2018-06-04

Google Console Search Team sent a message about an indexing problem that caused me to open a virtual can of worms about wholeo.net. I would like all of it to be indexed so people can easily find what is there. But Google wants me to structure and design my pages to make it easy to index. That would be a full-time job. I spent all day on it and will return, perhaps a day a week.

2018-06-03

I think we're designing our brains to evolve in a new way. To perhaps not have a single view of consciousness but more in some way. Eyes in the back of the head might be the way that humans evolve to see in our artificial reality world. Then our brains might evolve to see that way. I could put that in my double sights. See the back of what's behind your head, in other words the 180° that's behind you. On the left. Ahead of you is on the right. The way it is now is top and bottom, a panoramic view. This would be more of a center view. I think the movies are separate and we developed a viewer. So I just need the viewer. There is all kinds of VR on the web now and I haven't related to it. One of the buttons in the export from Premiere Pro is for VR. Oh that's for VR video. Might be able to paint VR in Photoshop now.

2018-06-02

For National Trails Day, the Choctawhatchee Chapter of the Florida Trail Association sponsored a "do-it-yourself" hike picking up trash on a favorite trail. Quite windy for starters but it lessened. Picked up cigarette butts on the sidewalk from car to beach. Also 3 pairs of sandals that I've seen there for days. First dump.

Then began an adventure of lifetime. I tried to pick up all garbage in wrack line. There was at least something every 3 feet. Usually more. Most found were bottle caps. Second most numerous were curly package ribbons. I could almost feel the impulses behind this discard. Thirsty opening the bottle with focus on the drink, toss what isn't of use to hold the bottle and enjoy the drink. Children getting birthday presents, eagerly tearing open the wrappings, all eyes focused on what is within. Is the child getting what it wants? An adult grabs the paper but can't get all the flying ribbons.

It's all along the wrack where shorebirds, crabs, turtles get their food. I've never before seen exactly what they face. Imagine having to ascertain whether each bite would be food or not, when a lot of it is something foreign to the environment, an unknown substance of strange color.

I saw the snowy plovers, adult and chick. Relief. Chick dives under parent before I can dust off my sandy hand in hopes of not wrecking my camera and get a photo. Then I circle around to give them space.

Also I was unprepared for how heavy the bag would become and how tired I would be in constantly bending over and standing up. One reward was a sea horse. I knew others had found them on this beach but in 16 years had never seen one. Tangled in Sargasso weed, hard to extricate. It might be alive, so I threw it as far as I could out into the surf. I kept debating whether I really had to go to the end of the park. My bag was full and I had found a cooler top for the other hand.

Incredibly, I looked up to see a woman approaching from the east. She too stooped to pick up trash collected in a heavy bag. I've seen trash pickers before, but never one getting each bottle cap or colored plastic scrap scrupulously like I was doing. Two first-time trash experiences meeting at the exact point where I did not have the energy to proceed? How wonderful it that? She verified that she had come from WaterSound Camp Creek and had cleared the remaining distance to the east end of the park. I didn't have to do it.

I headed for the ramp with the idea of resting. Journalism is what always gets me through hard adventures. Thinking of the story I'll have to tell. I look for the birds but see my trash-picking friend. She's finding things where I thought I had gotten everything in sight. It wasn't until I was on my way back that I saw part of the explanation. The waves constantly bring a new supply. By now I was incapable of bending over one more time, so had to face that I would not leave a clean trail.

I probably won't write the world-saving essay about someone in a boat in the middle of the ocean, which seems endless, which seems to claim and take care of anything they put into it. They toss the bottle cap, take a drink and watch the cap disappear into the dark depths below. Never imagining its impact, its journey. We've got big brains and should use them to learn the consequences of our actions worldwide. The ocean is our connector, not a protector. Not a respecter of nations or identities. No border wall here.

2018-06-01

Saw the movie "Solo" a Star Wars follow up. What is shocking is that the religious element is gone and the fighting for a righteous cause is gone. The only motives are self survival. The only way people work together is self-interest. Is this our society degenerate? Or is this simply realism? Oh also shocking is the lack of ethics. They are all criminals. Implying that everyone is. Interesting chewbaca language.

2018-05-30

All week have been following shorebirds on my beach walk. Every day is so beautiful, beyond words. We did have a tropical storm on 5-28, Memorial Day. It did not damage the beach. I took a video of the Code Enforcement truck driving past for FWC that monitors wildlife on the beach. It was accepted and will be used for training Walton County personnel in best practices. It feels good to be of service to my community and also to the birds, my friends.

2018-05-23

Up early again. Seem to be on the brink. Of what? Am I misinterpreting this sensation of myriad spinning, expanding, active, jumping or jumpy fine-grained passageway as elation? Could it be trepidation? Premonition of disaster? It doesn't have a necessarily positive or negative exertion. Best expressed as particle intensity.

2018-05-22

Most interested in this continuing feeling of elation. All I have to do at any moment is check bodily state and I get effusion. Elation. Something in the water? New vitamins? Something on spiritual path that I could artwork if I could visualize?

2018-05-21

Careening in evolutionary dreamspace. Waking with a dream that I have confused with the TV show Mme Secretary and thoughts I've had before of a different way of viewing and experiencing reality. Seems my cells are ready for it. In the dream it was seeing in time rather than space. I'm no nearer to doing it than ever. However my body is excited in tone. Beyond excitement for going on a trip. More physical than meditation bliss. It is like I might explode, or do one of those superhero morphs turning into another kind of being. I wonder if I'm going to die or have an accident or a stroke? Is this feeling a temperature, a sickness, a racing heart? What can I best do with it?

2018-05-20

GreenGeeks created an SSL certificate for https://wholeo.com which allows it to redirect to https://wholeo.net, this site. There might be a few pages that have insecure links, so I have to check the entire site.

2018-05-19

Web host greengeeks.com created an SSL certificate for https://wholeo.net which creates encrypted secure web browsing. Shorebird parents are sharing care of the snowy plover chicks.

2018-05-17

Saw two snowy plover chicks with Dad on the beach. Marvin of FWC has set up a yellow bird sign and a research sign to warn visitors and trucks coming from the west of the active area. He is advising me on the Facebook group, I <HEART> Deer Lake State Park. Published some fine screen shots from video.

At ECMS meditation was intense. Once it had that fear of exploding or violating fabric of spacetime society. Is it all about potential? There was a vision of textures, circles in patches with nap or striations in various directions, but not much contrast from the ground, like a rug. I found myself thinking of what happened before meditation often, and the morning's beach adventure, the running plovers. Also the circle unbroken song over and over.

One really clear experience was the green windings on the WK cone became kind of a channeling of a space crackling energy potential everywhere. The green streaked down the struts for awhile, then the windings resumed. But the continuousness with allspace was electric. Also there was a time of going to the point of the cone where the original mind tapered to nothing. There was a time when deep blue bloomed, light radiated from behind the old Wholeo symbol structure. Then it had the springtime effulgence of cornucopias of garden plenty. There was a time when the drops prevailed. There became a giant drop that coalesced the entire circle of meditators, the point rising like a mosque top. I held it. At first the feeling was of this incredible vulnerable tenderness.

Thinking of this, I might have to hang in the meditation group until it dies a natural death. I don't think I ever get this caring and loving by myself. Just like being in this country, rotting, disintegrating, disheveling, but I'll live it out.

2018-05-13

Maybe the last lake2lake walk of the year since I heard the yellow-fly season is here. Luckily I saw no bugs. I started pearl walking and got a huge revelation for Woman's Kundalini (WK). Streams going both ways between Sparkle Star and Under Foot Drop, simultaneously. Continue to tune into the drops. But now I'm seeing circulation going both ways. It is definitely not about breathing. It's about emulsifying or mixing as a process where the elements engage. Sparkle star with ground drops and brain cells.

2018-05-12

Dream: What if I had just redacted the link to the movie when I published it last week? There is a sense that something bad and unexpected happens by giving people access. That is, to what happens when they click it.

The movie is the one I'm working on now of the WK. The problem in the dream is that I'm thinking about the word "redact". Why not just "remove"? Does this fancy word add anything? At the dream start I'm knowing about the redact issue but thinking that is not as important as the link consequences issue. I'm not dealing with what is more important. That is the insight that WK is not about breathing.

Lamenting how I do racial profiling of shore birds. I discount and profile the defensive sanderlings, scoffing at their puffed up bravado and alternate scurrying fear. But I see each snowy plover as an individual, special, with mild personality. Serene and even open at times. When running doesn't seem flustered, just having a run. Much more contemplative, Zen birds. I resent the fact that the sanderlings are more successful.

The web host for wholeo.net and wholeo.com, greengeeks, is supporting secure internet, SSL. I have been making small steps to switching to https protocol, hoping it will go smoothly, and that all links both to and from the pages will continue to work. But I won't know until I give them the go ahead.

Spent a lot of thought about what WK really is, especially if not breathing. Encounter, engagement, entrain. Looking for a term that describes what I do. Involve, talk, converse?

Synchronizing, tuning, friending, channeling. It seems all our terms for meeting, greeting, acknowledging, working with, engaging, receiving from, sending to, encountering, entraining, tuning into, communicating with, channeling are all tailored to people, waveforms, spirits, electronics. I can't find words to describe how I feel when visualizing doing woman's kundalini.

2018-05-10

First attempt to walk barefoot in Deer Lake State Park, starting on the Nature Trail. It's pretty much torture wherever there's road but on the sand it's wonderful. I'm going to tell the park people they should make a barefoot trail in the sand. That would be special.

2018-05-07

Note, on YouTube, if you want to see a movie frame-by-frame, stop it. On your keyboard or pad, press . (period) to go one frame forward. Press , (comma) to go one frame back. It's like seeing 30 paintings for every second of the movie. 1,800 for a one-minute long movie.

On Vimeo to advance frame-by-frame, press play on a video and let it start playing and loading. Next, pause the video and with the Shift key held down use the left and right arrow keys to step back or forward in the video.

2018-05-05

Saturday all day ECMS Vipassana Mindfulness retreat. I followed the schedule privately at home, calling it the Carolyoga Woman's Kundalini Feminine Ray Intensive. Feminine Vibes 2 Foot Drops, FV2FD. I did four 40-minute sitting meditations. They were a combination of silence and speaking thoughts related to the kundalini theme. Following each meditation I transcribed the audio recording.

Meditation 1

Seeing twisties flowing in the funnel V form like the flow in the 2013 Shift Happens.

Unify the branches of Zen, I have insight. Ever renewing. Glowing. I feel the goal is above like in all the pictures. There is a virtual triangle between me and other meditators.

Experience transmission as integrated receiving and sending. The previous breathing sequence isn't one way or the other, flow is simultaneous.

Change is oxidation. Flows of water. Smoke, fire, wind, growth, flying, it's all part of this movie earth adventure. Be with the seed. Seed bead.

Meditation 2

Zen fem and masculine rays as Sufi wings reminding me of that drawing with Wholeo arcs, As above, so below. As within, so without. As left, so as right. As thin, as long. As speech, as silence. As in, as out. As is. Bean.

Love. Available for our body. All around every cell. Equal access. Every cell its own chakra. Feminine ray has lights like northern lights. We will speak in these colors. Feel them in every tiny choice. You are just a conglomeration of choices.

Tuning into pineal reminds me of the cosmic color consciousness logo with the heart above mirroring the heart below.

The reason that the feminine seems to dominate the masculine, is not that it does. It is the procreation. The woman. The feminine energy has the revelation of the substance and the secretion of the manifestation. And the visualization, and realization. Embodiment. Masculine is action.

There's no there. No where. No there no where. Yes Is 'tis

Meditation 3

I was uncomfortable, repeatedly falling over and jerking up. Plus wandering into all kinds of mindthink. At 10 minutes I stood up and did slow walk. That was neutral. Enjoying trying to do it with perfect form, I got my wandering mind to stop. At first doing the ball first (as shown here). Then went back to doing heel first, that rocks and flows smoothly. I like the half footstep kinhin.

Meditation 4

Haiku with view of the meditator two body parts with hips down on the ground, chest up lifting, with an enso in between.

When the circle is
unbroken la la la then
ensos are always

I'll always be in love with Mel. I feel like the volcano. With fissures orange light fissures flowing and overflowing. Feeling of intensity. I don't meditate. I just envision. Trick myself. Who am I fooling? I don't know the first thing about what meditation really is. I shouldn't even use the word.

The Feminine Ray reminds us of the feminine base. Creative ground. Disconnected. seems like other space. that's not connected in any way. Discontinuous. It's like spiraling around Meteor Crater Spirits. It's as if my cells, or some of my cells, can talk orange to blue. That can go on at the same time that they can be body parts. Integrating the On the Way to Machu Picchu Feminine Ray work with the OAR Feminine Vibe and Women's Kundalini as correlated and same path work.

Wow that end part was intense. I kept seeing this spinning bit of energy in black. Two vortexes spiraling together to a point. The intensity just builds and builds. Until I was released into tiny, splintering jets. Flowing little fragments all released until I was back to nothing.

During the day I had a movie loaded on the computer. I didn't play it though. It was on the first frame. During the day it moved five seconds, then later five seconds more. I don't know how that happened.

2018-05-04

Having major unease over what seems to be channeling Picasso. Just because of the TV bio on him? I keep reviewing the advice to a painter that he gave to the young woman. He shouts, "You have to paint constantly. It has to be your ALL. Do you know how hard it is? How lonely?" I guess because I realize that's how my life is.

Then thinking of how to represent the Zen original mind as a mirror. I cannot trace where I got that idea, but I think it is repeated in the sutras chanted by Nancy and at Mt Shasta Zen Center and probably read in some of my books. Not at all sure. Might have it associated with Zen and the Art of Dividing by Zero.

But somehow Picasso is talking to me saying "Look at my paintings". I remembered "Girl with a mirror". Found it online. As usual, I see it as clumsy and ugly but intriguing. I see a clit, womb, breasts encounter on the lower left. Dual nature in face. The ground as important as the foreground. The background of one pattern, the foreground of mirrored pattern, these motifs mirror each other and the richness of our minds. The stripes are curved and straight and pattern at different angles, like brain associations. The drop as womb. in the mirror all the sexuality merged in a baby maybe. The reach is the darkest part, just found the right arm, tiny shriveled, barricaded, not reaching the reflection. Maybe the best thing is there is no resting point. I just see the big red patch as clumsy, when eye darts to the other reds, excited, opposing, juxtaposing, dynamically counterbalancing. This kind of art could be so fantastically interesting in a movie. That's what he challenges me to do. If I can see this kind of action, I should do it. I'm the one who has vowed to art what I see. The oval mirror frame, me reaching for my whole self. Should I say this? The original mind is an enso-like fuck hole in the mirror?

Wondering what is the background between star center, during cone to hood, I see at the end it is blue fog all the way.

Biggest change is that Woman's Kundalini is not breathing. Breathing can be a way to visualize the process. Is it kundalini energy? If so what is that? Am I just accessing qi and not circulating? Is it prana? Am I just acting a new path? All answers are no. This seems like a discrete adventure and needs its own name. Note: This is the last in the links to More discussion of Woman's Kundalini although development and thoughts continue mingling. I'll probably link to web pages when they appear.

2018-05-01

Another WK movie could start out in the beyond with feminine vibe colors. A title and cast of characters might scroll down. A circle like a porthole opens in the middle showing a preview of kundalini access from above. Gradually, as if becoming binocular, it separates into two circles. The right circle turns into a side animation of Woman's Kundalini breathing in, all the way to drops at ground below. The left circle looks straight down at cross-sections of the process unfolding on the right. These ideas are so good and so hard to implement. Started a page for it. More.

2018-04-21

Lying here wondering what the original feminine vibes behind the rock of the big bang looked like? I went back there in the video and saw waves and stuff. But not what I could identify as vibes. Imagined a dual vibe that went do do and third beat was out of sight big and round again. Lying inert. Not appropriate to move. Suddenly saw a color combo. Different. Unknown. I would say the background was salmon, all middle value. Rich, deep, saturated, not too dark, not medium. intense. Whole colors. Circular donut like rings within. Deep rose slightly bluer than scarlet. Center I guess a rosy purple. Not seeming static however. Slightly waveringly changing. Not only their hue but their edge qualities, size, near and far and position. The text of OAR16 says it was changes in light. In the Woman's Kundalini Breathing video, color changes are the changes in light. More.

2018-04-20

While walking in Point Washington State Forest (PWSF), vision of WK breathing practice: Breathing into drops, breathe out to star. Mostly see that from the side. Cone up to original mind. Looks like a round mirror from the side. Then switched to pearl step, pearl pearl step. Feels so good out here, reconnecting, everything through feet.

Thinking more and more about the NASA video from the space station and some way I got this round port window, as if being in an infinity space station. That's original mind. Which I see blank. Seeing cross sections of sphere space, as if in flatland. Then I breathe down, through the cone, star. Cone is undefined, narrowing down to the star. Widening down yellow cone to magenta hood, brain cells. Breathing in there are drops, down to drops at the bottom. Then when breathing out, there are brain cells, wholeOOspheres, back through the magenta hood, yellow cone to star space. .. disc .. sphere space some of the drops are fringing right out beyond the edge of the circle. Down to earth. All the wigglys ( twisties) like in birth painting surround original mind. with clouds coming off of them. So there are all allspace bottom and top. But the breathing tunnel, star to drops, is dark all around the tunnel, channel. More.

2018-04-17

I had a difficult dream. There are some battle lines where the government has instructed us to not only fight an illegal battle, but to paste logos on the opposing forces helmets or equipment, essentially claiming them for our side. I'm experiencing what it is to live out the concept of resistance to what we know is wrong. First is to understand what is wrong and take responsibility for making decisions that are right, against the power over us. There are so many parts of being human that make that hard. Second is to actually do it, that is act on what is right. In the case of this dream, we have done some logo pasting and have to reverse it.

When waking up, I kept seeing how our current US government is affecting all of us. How my psyche in our connectedness is experiencing and supporting the resistance of those actually on the front lines, the confrontations, losing their jobs, being publicly humiliated, living the results that will be our history.

Most important is the thought train about the essential Women's Kundalini. I eliminated mrunes and glyphs which I think are riding on the kundalini. The test is this. Have I had the WK without mrunes and munes and glyphs? Yes. The drops are another question. And the order of discovery or presentation is another. I know I discovered the cap of drops first. But is that true for everyone? Is there anything primary about that? I guess I cling to that inquiry because the flow seems to be between the star overhead and the drops underfoot. The helmet seems to be the transducer between the cone and the drop flow in the body, the EIEnors. Straighten the ribs and I have a cone. Move the drops from the rib tips and I have the streaming.

Wow I think I've got it. The helmet is an antenna and it does have to be projected from within. It is an aura phenomenon. It might be as basic as wave/particle nature. The ribs like wave. The particles like drops.

Suddenly reminded of being in that huge wharf building in San Francisco. My sister was doing Indian Studies at Sonoma State and found out about events in the San Francisco Bay Area. One was the Hare Krishna parade with the elder from India. This one on a pier was Tibetan Buddhist. Was it Dalai Lama? Most memorable for me was something I think done with long trumpets, where a single breath had dual notes. Now I know that a human can sing that way.

To restate, although it must be built from within, I think there's the platonic form, the idea, that is not created by us. A metaphor for visualizing and using it, would be to spray with particles of insulation on an invisible field to reveal the ribs and drops as they are coated. The idea is fed and substantiated by our attention.

A question might be whether breathing exercises from traditional kundalini can be used with Woman's Kundalini. My answer is no because I can't imagine how one could do it fast. Not a prohibitive response but an "if so, how?" More.

2018-04-15

Looking at the wholeopens on the pentagons in my EIEnor model. Thinking wow, those arms represent vibe transmission, could they actually be coming from the info storage blocks. But no I think the pents are the synergizers. What do they really do?

Working on a WK movie. OK, I don't think brain cell expansion is part of WK, in the essential narrow sense. There are many pre-conditions and associated practices and verities but WK is an energy streaming practice and should be delineated clearly. Also, I'll never be over my interest in modeling expansion of consciousness. It is the essence of my life arrow of time; what came out of the glass dome in 1975 and onward. Thanks for deciding that and abandoning it for the time being.

Now how about the 1073 breathing? No, it a is variation. Can not possibly be required. Visions are so sneakily wonderful. Suddenly aware of my closed eye vision near where I was resting my head on hand. It was the ruddy colors of AE18 overlaid with the blue haze, the blue light being of visionary meditation or meditative visioning or whatever that blue light is I see so frequently. That seems to show the way. I had been thinking of the light cone, then overlapping light cones, which reminded me of the Marcia Woodby glass window I made for Ana's room.

Start over. We've got a dome hat, drops, cone, streaming with breathing, drops below, activating brain cells, streaming up. Then there were drops up the cone to the sparkle star. That should be one movie. Plunk. Then can do movies associated, based on the practice. More.

2018-04-14

So sick of Facebook trivia that, as Caroling (instead of Wholeo), I posted my brain cell movie to stimulate some depth. Got the response I liked from a very few people.

Now looking at WK. Slight problem with the kundalini cap (hood) in that it seems to have a gradual development rather than just appearing in space. Later it looks like the cone is bending in space to form the cap. The wOs communication with the drop needs to be connected with the overall view. How do the rings that come from the brain cell go up the cone? I love reading the journal entries.

Anyway, there is so much video work to do that I guess my first task is to figure out if WK guidance can be discrete from using WK. Like I got the practice and structure of it. With that in mind, the glyphs and stuff coming down the cone on 2-5 must be using WK. Not sure about the green coil. 2-8 blows mind. I can't tell if it is a different way of seeing the time cones or not. Original cone is wide point up narrowing. In time cone, the second cone rises from the point star top of the bottom and widens up to the disc of original mind.

Boy am I struggling with guidance. I'm reading blog. Have found one movie to work on. Which is the overall wOs with TLM lights written on 3-18. Would it be over all the body? Or could it be the starlight center? Anyway TLM lights are important. Could do the octhat. Which would change the position of the overall TLM, which is not a TLM, it is one tet. What is bugging me at the moment is that I've got Woman's Kundalini bound up with expanded consciousness according to my vision.

Suddenly seeing a movie where the drops going down are navigating the twists and turns of the paths incoming sensations, the edges of a bank of storage blocks. As the breathing flow comes up and out, the light muscles flicker among the synergizing brain cells. That is really a committment to EIEnor in WK association. Beautiful. But is it necessary? It is an elucidation. I feel like I'm escaping or eluding my main task. More.

2018-04-13

On walk I hugged my tree, WindDancer. I tuned in with lizard instruction {that had gotten at Santa Clara ramp} double cone. Breathed in down to my feet. Breathed out to a point and up out that really short coil. Was out and looking at the end disc from the side. Brought memory of the original face {Zen}. Breathed {in} down. Hugged the tree. Rough bark.

Noticed the parts it had grown but outgrown that were dead branches hanging down. I realized I have tough bark to fend off what I don't want. I have dead branches of things that aren't going anywhere but are still hanging around. I identified with that growing force. It was almost like the tree needed to strengthen the side I was leaning on to accomodate my weight. I was grateful for that and hoped it was not too hard for it to do. It just was not used to it. I can strengthen the sides where I'm stressed.

Then we . together went up. breathing out. I saw a trite inner vision of this sun coming over the edge of clouds, the way we always picture the light. I thought how I'm just seeing {(within the bounds of my culture) what my culture tells me to see}. But that sun is not what I'm really breathing to. It was more like how my camera, at first a glare, when zoomed in and pointed right at light, such as a full moon, focuses and turns down the exposure. Now I see the disc of original mind. I kept going until it didn't seem like light. Hawking can say there's no boundary. But there are places you can go that seem like beyond the big bang in touch with her feminine ray vibes. Which took me back to the Old Age Retreat vision of feminine light vibes. More.

2018-04-11

The geometry of evolving mind. I have three streams going here. Mystical camping WK emerged and continued through AE. Took place in Carolyoga. Now I can't say views of the mind is a practice. It is geometry. This just replaces or builds on the movie Five cells expand to EIEnor. It is another look at it and how it works.

This morning the five brain cells appeared organized like a pyramid hat, the four corners around the level of my ears. The peak above my head is the fifth and leading brain cell. This arrangement is the basic framework of evolution. Co-evolution. Can picture this when focusing on evolving. When writing this, became aware that it is not a pyramid, it is the top of an octahedron, the inner shape. The bottom is like the anti- structures written about by Hawking. Maybe. I remember Pirsig somewhere made an assertion. Followed in the next sentence by "Maybe". Which is a clue as to several unwritten paragraphs of the surrounding aura of the assertion that modifies it and leads to more. It means that the preceding statement is the next best hope for a true stepping stone on the path of truth. Stay tuned.

Need to remember that an Egyptian pyramid is not equilateral as is an octahedron. Also I'm pleased that this is in alignment with the Rainbow Bridge visualization of the octahedron. I could do a modification of those images. Wow, the Google search brings up images. How fantastic. The noosphereforum page I link to is still there, so attractive and unifying of directions. However, ultimately is that obfuscating calendar of the lawoftime. The main page is black, code is truncated. Same reaction to the Facebook page.

Interesting that the first image Google shows in the search on wholeo.net for "octahedron" goes to haptihedron with an explanation that is key, KEY!, to the octahedron around head. Octhat. The octahedron is inside the double tetrahedron of the Light Muscle. See the original vision given by Amerindian guides and continued in the geometry section.

Wow. To make a page for Octhat, have to picture that octahedron as basis for expanding. I am so excited. I wonder if I can use the ones I use in the movie. The reason I'm so enlightened excited is that this octahedron within the TLM is the engine, the actor, the instigator, the director, the controller, the source, the basis for all this inquiry. Need to find Bucky Fuller's additions.

First thought was that I could rearrange the cubes around the head in the movie at the end. That would lead to the next movie. But I really should redo this one. It could be so much better. Dilemma back to Laura Grenyo at Borland's criticism of me in 1992. I share too soon when user does not have tools or concepts to understand my presentation. Story of my life. My rebuttal is that it has taken my whole life to get here. In fact, should I now remain silent?

Stella octangula is another way of saying Stellated octahedron. !!!!!!!!

http://www.matematicasvisuales.com/english/html/geometry/space/volstellatedoctahedron.html

Leonardo da Vinci's version. This is how I see the top of the head and the placement of the five cubes. Hmm, this also resolves the conundrum of maybe 6 cubes. A sixth would complete the inner octahedron. The sixth could be the record keeper. http://www.matematicasvisuales.com/english/html/history/leonardo/stellatedoctahedron.html

In geometry, a octahedral prism is a convex uniform 4-polytope this is from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octahedral_prism.

From Leonardo's time, these shapes were thought to be related to the elements: the Cube to earth, Tetrahedron to fire, Octahedron to air, Icosahedron to water and Dodecahedron to heavenly ether.

At 9am so spaced out I don't know if I'm coming or going. It will be hard to picture the four corners of the top of the octahedron straight on as it would be for the face in this movie.

2018-04-10

Walked a mile at Santa Clara ramp reading Hawking. Wow. At one point an anole, that I see as a lizard, little, green, saw me on the railing and took off going down. When I zagged the zig to the point below, I looked for it. Saw it going down where it was about to disappear back and under the supports. I talked to it, saying "hello, so glad to see you". It immediately turned around, climbed up a foot or so and sat on top of a beam pointing at and looking right up at me. I could not have felt more welcome. We were communing. It was about 3' away.

Breathing with lizard was a double cone. Of course that could have come from the book, A Brief History of Time, since there were many pix of light cones. But at first it was the WK cone breathing in to wide circle. The depth and breadth of the circle went to ground (earth) and to deeps of lizard. Then carrying liz messages, ground, mine, it breathed out to the WK cone tip star. I don't know how many cycles, if any, there were with a single cone but mostly this breathing came to the star point and went on to however far and wide out a circle it could go, which wasn't defined as infinite or finite but had a breathing/consciousness limit or turn around for breathing in. More.

I remained hanging over the railing for awhile bliss breathing with liz. I did some more talking. That must have been before breathing awareness. As I continued my walk I kept doing the breathing. On succeeding zigzags up and down the ramp I lost track of liz and could not even find the configuration of ramp supports where I remembered it being. Very moved by this contact.

Meanwhile a whole new advancement popped into mind with respect to the geometry of expanding mind. What about emotions? What if the EIEnor is a preliminary stage of the EIE, like the cube storage block is within the sphere of the emotions? Color healings could be dealing with the emotions. The pentagons could relate to the emotions. Some ideas have the feature that once they have come to mind, there is no return.

What I'm not sure about is if all the missing link evolution has any place here. Could it be the corpus callosum kind of linking of the storage blocks and the emotions? Ideas that are questions could be investigated further.

2018-04-09

Checking in on the endangered species of lichens that I call perfs, I really only found two plants that were big among the dominant Cladonia leporina. Most everything looks unhealthy. Enjoyed it though. It is such a beautiful place if I just ignore the cars. Thought about just communing with the lichen rather than looking at their physical state.

2018-04-08

Thinking of 1073 or 1 0 7 3 as a great sequence. Must try breathing more.

Breathing coil for cleansing and energizing. 1. Visually trace the spiral starting at the top as you breathe in, following the turns all the way down and in to your diaphragm. 0. Turn around and twirl your way up as you breathe all the way up to the top and out. 7. To the count of seven, breathe in one on your way down and then way, way out on your way up, slowly watching the winding path. 3. To the count of three, gently breathe down in and finally up all out. Repeat this pattern.

Added this to the visionart AE18 page. Now see that each number has it's own color. I could do a movie with the right timing and colors. Eventually whole WK. Yes I think this will be integrated into the final movie.

2018-04-06

Went to the opening of the new Eastern Lake Campground 2 where I met the foresters who work in and manage our forest. The supervisor is in charge of seven counties. I climbed the old fire watch tower, which I've wanted to do since I first saw it in 2002. It is locked and requires a safety briefing, permission, and a forestry personnel guide. Afterwards I made a reservation to camp for two days celebrating the Follow Equinox in September.

2018-04-05

My meditation was stellar. At first aware of hurting back and slowly raised up. Accepted pain of bra. Intensity. Aware of loving cloud of ring of people. Mainly irrepressible, non-visual that at the same time was supremely beautiful, not dark, not just the extreme joy of being, the creative, evolutionary adventure. Non-objective celebration of all my cells all in my realm with no boundaries. So many things people look for in the outside world are metaphors of what is within. Or is it the reverse? The thoughts are concerns that I'm going to exceed some level of appreciating, the witness explodes, is burnt out, is indulging. Has to be willing to let go into this trip.

2018-04-03

Green Geeks, the web host for wholeo.net is moving the site to an improved server. As far as I know the migration was successful.

2018-04-02

Tuning into the core movement around the galaxy. I wonder if it is faster than our spin around our earth axis daily. Is speed that important? What I'm tuning into is inexorable. Even though we might hit a point in time in space where we are centered on the direction of sun's path, we are carried or we travel on that path even though we spin daily and spin around the sun, there still is that direction. I guess everything is going at the same speed.

2018-04-01

Funny thoughts in kitchen. Imagining that a doctor asks what I weigh. I'll say 155 as I always do. Somehow I think I might have lost a little, eating less carbs. Even though I eat too much. She'll say, why not weigh yourself? I'll say, I can't waste the time. This feeling of intensity of my purpose seems to always be with me.

Walking back to work, it vanishes and I feel incredulous as to why, what difference would it, does it, could it make? Everything seems like a farce. The doctor must see I'm delusional. As I prepare to sit down I remember the rationale. I've been given so much during my life. Things have been so easy, so meaningful. Seems I must give back. Why stop now? I haven't lost faith in the journey, the decisions, the goals for myself.

It is that in so many ways, I keep seeing myself as others do. Hardly anyone is into evolution. How can they understand what I'm saying? For example, the solstices and equinoxes seem to me so gigantic in meaning. Easter seems so trivial. I don't share the nostalgia, the sugar, the family ties, the religion, the icons that binds them to it. Yet they must have the same emptiness looking at my pursuits. It always seemed that there was a context. Now I look around me and it is transparent, not there for those around me. I feel like up up and out on some pinnacle, trajectory and even if I spun a work of art, no one would see it.

But it still seems worth it.

2018-03-28

Thinking about an intro movie to wholeo.net that is different from the previous, doesn't try to be a variety show, a smörgåsbord. It takes the development of consciousness structure from the start to the present, showing how my mediums evolved, how the core ideas are evolving, how this is a lifework that is not a certain style, but an intuitive inquiry. The culmination is Woman's Kundalini streaming consciousness structures up in body to hood. This actually can be a model, inspiring people's brains to do it. It also should be inspiring, encouraging, uplifting to see how far it has come.

2018-03-27

I think the 7 in the AE18 meditation vision is to breathe all the way out and hold. When completely evacuated there is more contact with the beyond. Filled with spirit, not air. And when all the way out, the breathed in air/prana is pushed farther in, to blood and circulation. Not seeing the breathing as in and out reversal. See it as in and completely in, continuously opening. True, I am expelling the part of air I don't need but at the same time I am more completely and deeply absorbing and honoring what was taken in. I wonder if this hold is part of Woman's Kundalini, adding to the benefits of the fast kind of breathing in the aerobic traditional Kundalini. More.

2018-03-25

Getting some kind of information that I'm grounded over there in the campground better than anyplace close to home. The information is that I should scan over those colors I've got until I find actually one color that is the frequency I should be talking on. Working on license plate. Seemed to have gotten the overall colors right. Suddenly fixed on a portion that felt like it had the focus color. Zoomed in to pixel level. At first felt arbitrary. After about 3 tries I fixed on this: #f75200 and used it for the background of the visionwork.

Loved the numbers. f oh no I always forget if f is white or black. 2 my original favorite. 5 my evolutionary favorite. 7 seemingly the great divisor, multiplier. Remember the life stages, 0 7 14 21 28 35 42 49 56 63 70 77 84 91 98 105 are big milestones. 0 conceived, 7 school, 14 puberty, 21 (1955) Europe, art choice and grad school, 28 (1962) NY, 35 Wholeo, 42 Monte Rio expansion, 49 (1983) Peru and Silicon Valley, 56 (1990) increasingly software-oriented and lost mom and son, 63 (1997) New Zealand and retired web artist, 70 2004 Wholeo Dome to The Farm, 77 (2011) 2012 galactic, 84 (2019) TBD.

2018-03-22

I'm so happy I gave myself two days in nature. I really got into it. So meaningful, real, beautiful, fascinating. It is called "touching base".

2018-03-21

At first wakeup before dawn, I needed my headlamp to get up and go out. Overjoyed to find no bugs. I walked back and forth to the lake, at first seeing a rosy glow in the east over the water and wetlands. Waking up with nature outdoors is for me, divine.

Visionary thoughts from three days of camping are here on the AE camping page.

2018-03-20

Hips and knees hurt all night. All set to complain about what I've condemned myself to do, instead I feel inner acceleration and elation. The heavy wind forecast is gone but I now have the rainfly off the tent so I can see the sky and the forest all around. Just looked up and saw blue sky with a dabbling of a pattern of small puffs of clouds. Where before and after a few seconds was bland gray. CHANGE. Now seeing subtle changes in gray. Sort of inner glowing soft glimmers. Like what's in me. Marginally conscious.

Toward the lake it feels green like New Zealand. To the forest like Minnesota north woods. I like seeing peeks of sky on the horizon that I know is over the Gulf. Seeing wind in tree tops. Different budding growth tips of all the plants. Watching sunlight coming and going, modulated by waving branches in the wind. Soft groups of misty clouds in a completely different wind flow going NW to SE at a different rate to the patchy clouds going east. Small things seen when heading around the galaxy.

After meditating for 30 minutes during the peak of the equinox, with sunlight at my back, I notice that the guardian tree I chose is leaning in the direction we're heading. Wonderful big yellow butterflies flitting about the forest. Some cloud cover keeping the temperature mild. In the afternoon I hiked singing, "Country road take me home," .... In the evening prepared for clear star-studded sky and cold temperature drop. By morning I had on all my clothes, down jacket, tights, rain pants, headband and gloves. Still, I could not get warm enough.

Visionary thoughts from three days of camping are here on the AE camping page.

2018-03-19

Weather forecast was for rain and thunderstorms starting before noon and continuing all afternoon. Legally, campground check-in is at 3PM but I feared it would be difficult to set up in the rain and everything would be wet. I loaded the car at 9AM. Slight drizzle started as I drove away. At the campground, people were eating at the table with tent up on #2, the site I rented for two nights. I explained that I was just going to put my tent up, so it would be ready before the rain and after they left. Raindrops were increasing as I put it up on another site. To my surprise the rainfly was not in the bag. I draped the tent top with tarps and drove home. I got the missing pieces just as the storm was in full force. I could hardly see to drive through heavy traffic on the way back. Site #2 was vacant but my tent floor was swamped. I poured it out, stretched the rain fly on and dragged the light framed tent to my site. By this time the rain stopped. I mopped up the tent floor and hoped it would dry out. Not knowing when rain might start up again, I put up my old backpacking tent and filled it with camping supplies. The inflated mattress felt good as I leaned back in a stadium chair for lunch and journaling.

The rain never resumed. In late afternoon I transferred all to my main tent. See the AE18 camping page for visionary comments.

2018-03-18

Last night watching a program on Steven Hawking (who just died), I learned that it is hard to spot little dark planets circling blazing bright suns. But it is the change between when the planet is in front of the sun, compared to when it is not in front, that is seen. I thought of this toward the end of my walk. Was thinking what would "they" see of me, of us. So if my brain cells, my consciousness cells, my wOss are in action, they would go like this. Each cell or unit of consciousness has the framework or the capability of structuring or hosting 5D. When one EIEnor is formed from 5 BC cubes, blocks, the squares fly out or explode into positions. Note this is about how to visualize what's happening. I'm not proposing that it actually has to be structured this way. Also the TLMs fly apart and explode into positions. But the TLMs are the most active changers. Vibrating fast, I said faster than the speed of light. So as long as a particular brain cell is associated with this group of five, the square sides remain expanded, do not change position. Actually not sure if the vibes or how the vibes and storage works. But it seems clear that the TLMs are the most dynamic parts.

So (when I say So, I think I mean to gather the thoughts and proceed anew) if some far awareness were looking for us or were to become aware of me, maybe this lineup with the sun and the direction would be a significant time to monitor change. And the change would be the sparkling TLM action.

So my walk was profound and again I'm high as a kite. I'm high as Hawking probing the depth of space and physics and being a consciousness in a wrecked body. Facebook reminded me of this post: Caroling/season/2015/y2015advanceEquinox.htm where the new moon was right on AE instead of 4 days before as it is now.

Yesterday I got the feeling that there was a consciousness that's ahead of earth on the sun's galactic orbit. That we contact (or intend to contact) at this time. So that's what I'm trying to do on this walk. It is an AE walk. Visualizing these relationships in space is perhaps the hardest and the most fallible of my efforts. Somehow I'm think angles are very important. On way back, with the sun at my back, I looked ahead towards this being.

Maybe I can show how I connect to this consciousness. I focused on that guy that was walking ahead of me ( to show how I would reach out and kind of act like a filter). Immediately comes into my mind kind of like a bunch of bubbles. Reminiscent of the zome arrangement that Steve Baer did. But made out of EIEnors, wOs, wholeOOspheres. Then the TLMs (tetrahedronal light muscles) are in there. I saw them pulsing from the original cube out to the wOs. I've never seen that before. How does this relate to a 4/5D tesseract? Could I start with flatland, and build up? No. What if I started with the intelligence I'm headed towards and work back?

Also visualized at one point an overall brain cell. I would have have tets reeling out from the periphery of a sphere that's around my body? I'm thinking in 3D. I'll have to think in 4D. Then I remembered Woman's Kundalini had these little wOs with every cell of consciousness. I'm kind of made up of myriad wOs. If I focus on the expansion of the TLMs I become illuminated in some way that shows my outline. And movement. Blinking of lights. Movement of consciousness that's not necessarily cellular light. But if there is a discernible change, then technology can be developed to track it. I don't know about the cube sides. Seems like they'd come out and go bump. And then ... ya, it's not just one. Cubes change, one or four might change. As long it's there in that framework and the flashing, the faster change is the TLMs. I wonder if I could ever ever make a video of that.

All my thought was about seeing myself and sending. What about receiving? More.

2018-03-17

I have been elated ever since waking up. It is a couple of hours to the new moon at 8:11. New moon steeped in sunlight. Hiked to campsite and felt so comfortable that I didn't want to leave. Photos of Guardian trees of the camp site.

2018-03-16

I'm reading Factoring Humanity by Robert J. Sawyer. Notes: Like the Wholeo symbol, the concave opposing spheres. Like my vision of storage block arrangement, the overmind is made of hexagons, one for each person. Mine had been my own mind, brain cells. New word: neckering which was when a pattern flipped to seeing it represent a different configuration. Derived from a necker diagram of the two cubes' outlines. Another new word hyperscope: a way to see in more dimensions, beyond normal seeing. Collective unconscious visible in 4D, what was always, is always but can't be seen in 3D. Called it a fistula in hyperspace. What is an autonomic self? She was in psychospace. 4D is fourspace. And Liz sends me a picture by Hans of factoring that is a dome shape.

2018-03-14

Remembering climbing and camping at Mt. Shasta in 1975. I had read John Muir's account of his climb (here it is: https://vault.sierraclub.org/john_muir_exhibit/writings/snow_storm_on_mount_shasta.aspx). I remembered reading that he ate only hardtack out of his pocket. So I brought only crackers I had made from sunflower seeds. Today I'm making them from sprouted seeds to take camping on my Advance Equinox 2018 event.

2018-03-12

Rhombicosidodecahedron: https://www.mathsisfun.com/geometry/polyhedron-models.html?m=Rhombicosidodecahedron has rotating interactive model of glass so can see it from any position and get an image of it.

Searched web for hours for the geometric folding model Meg had in the movie A Wrinkle in Time. Can not find it or even a reference to it. I had been awake with a heightened body sensation of intensity and feeling I could explore. I noted that an origami double star flexicube was of interest. Searching on "tesseract" and "hypercube". Got the book by Sawyer to help understand the tessering concept.

I feel this intensity is calling me somewhere. I really should think more about the tesseract being the same as 5 brain cells, except it is 8 cubes when unfolded from 4/5D to 3D.

2018-03-06

I got a new mudra like Woman's Kundalini but a different heart. That is like shekina but the heart and downward triangle instead of upward are made with little fingers, not center two fingers. Palms facing inward. Center two fingers are interlaced, lying flat, straight bent from knuckles. Index fingers meeting with pads facing, at point above. Forms an upward pointing triangle above center fingers. Thumbs meeting with pads together below. Behind, the little fingers are curled down with facing nails. Forms a downward pointing triangle below fingers.

I'm working on WK star center connection and the breathing flow. More.

2018-03-04

Gazing at the star center graphic, easy to imagine it morphing to star shape. But what function? Seems via the TLMs in the brain cell. Which brings to mind the movie of that in EIE. Sometimes these things go so easily. Found the image or movie I was thinking of. Enlarged it. Did movie with QT.

Of course that EIEnor.htm this shows the faces of the TLM expanding to the triangles in EIEnor. But that doesn't engage the content, the action which I don't think I've ever visualized differently than for EIE. So I think I can use this animation which gives a feel for rotating tetrahedrons. Could even snap and superimposed frames to get a visual for a still. Now for my stardrop center meld. Perfect graphic is in the light-emitting layer of the jeweled spin net. Do this as a graphic. I see the star sliding down the cone as it fades, everything centering as expanded. More.

2018-03-03

There's something about doing Woman's Kundalini with the drops and the star (stardrop) that activates the 5D brain cells. The star center that I connected with at the Old Age Retreat 2016 is not local, even though I've experienced it at the tan t'ien, hara, gut, plexus, body center. I don't have to experience WK as a body image. I can see the star enlarging and moving down to connect at the belly. Just sort of collapsing everything. And you could see...What I can't quite see is how these these OAR16 center, just kind of a cloudburst. Kind of connects with the drops doesn't it? How it transitions to star glitter stuff. It's not expanded to the five-point star which helps connect to the brain cells. More.

2018-02-28

Being with Nancy, I'm so aware of how loosely I operate. Constantly making little errors. That must be basic to our half-century attraction. Nancy, even in her demented state, catches lots of them. It seems like she operates tightly, every thought to the straight and narrow. I'm not sure if my sloppiness is a creative bonus or if she feels super useful and needed for keeping us on track. I remember some years when it made me super irritated. I felt nit-picked, criticized, attacked, and needlessly unappreciated for where my mind was at. I made snide comments like, "what would I do if I didn't have you to correct me." They were an attempt to accept but were actually sarcastic. Maybe we're more balanced now that there is a lot she can't control and doesn't know.

2018-02-24

I channeled Woman's Kundalini streaming down to feet drops and left it there for walking communication.

Met a cloudless sulphur butterfly. Talking with feet. The butterfly moved from the side to ahead of me. Gist seemed to be marking where alligator path was.

I talked in foot language to the butterfly. I found if I bend my knees, I press the feet down harder. I talked from outer toe to inner toe. Left and right for wholeo. Pressed on my heel for something. I did a cycle of the cone.

On the way back I remembered to draw the flow focus back up again. At star sparkles they became infinitesimal and connected holigraphically with everywhere. The communication was not on/off, but was intensification, focus.

Star sparkles. Cone. Drops. To drops underfoot. More.

2018-02-23

Now to speak of my feet. Doing yoga last night I became increasingly aware of the bottoms of my feet. They feel like a leather pad has developed. I have been noticing the sensation of stiffness in the soles for some days. It came to an intensity of focus. Could I be evolving shoes as feet bottoms? There was a word starting with evolv- that was like revolutionary. Yes, evolutionary, not as adjective, but as noun. I am an evolutionary. That went on for awhile during several yoga poses, accepting a change in feet.

At one point it changed. Like sand streaming through the small opening an hour glass when you flip it over. Irresistibly I became aware of the drops in the WK, woman's kundalini. Talk drops. Talk feet. These soles are not for walking; they are for talking. With feet in air as in shoulder stand and back exercises with feet up, they began a dance of communication, expression. Not language, which is of the tongue. Archuage, seems to stem from the foot arch. Pedage? Parts that move are all the toes, the balls, the arches, and the heels. 16 parts. Hexadecimal? No something different in the relationship of angles of these parts, left and right. Frequency of taps. Of course it involves the whole body, the torso, hips but especially the legs. I wonder if someday we'll write on screens with our feet. Play drums as well as talk. Then it will be virtual, with headsets and feeting (analog of speaking) in gestures. {Note solstice shoulder stand on 18-12-10.}

It feels like parts of me, latent abilities, sensors, flexors, knowers are aroused and beginning to sprout like seeds, taking root in new evolutionary manifestation. Bottom up, not top down. More.

2018-02-20

Have to love my mind. Feeling the general flow of the visions in wholeo then flowing into yoga and trying to see the process of visions with respect to my body. Thinking how much that Monte Rio direction flows into this new concretion. Suddenly a path like lake2lake is ocean2ocean. sea2sea. see2see. Reinforces the idea of sometime, another trip from Atlantic to Pacific. Water walker east and west. North and south.

Todo: investigate wired articles on yahoo. I'm feeling that WIRED is more in my thought path than Facebook. I'm getting really tired of dogs and sunsets. My mind is so fragmenting. It is the growth, continual growth. Thinking about the trees and how plants never stop growing. Humans do not continue physically but inwardly in experience.

2018-02-19

Ted Pirsig emailed that "We are scattering Bob's ashes off the Kona coast at 11AM local time". I figured 4 hour time difference so it would be 3 here. At 2 I remembered. But not again until 4:24. Tuned in, bone to bone, knowing we would always be tuned in. Floated out a bit like that. Then inferred or added info of the woman's kundalini process (visionary information currently channeling). Ascending into star images and a flurry floatation of star array starray happened for a bit.

I should explain that when I got my son's ashes, I was dumbfounded to feel the hard, gritty substance was like pulverized bone. It was not like soft, flimsy wood ashes.

2018-02-15

Looking at my Woman's Kundalini art, thinking need to have animation from feet to star, including changing the figure to the 5fold brain cells wOs. and drops going up. Visions. I feel the characters and runes streaming down the cone from the star transferred from helmet down body to pool below. That connects with grounding currents the way male kundalini connects with sky currents. I was breathing in with this flow. On breathe out the drops flow up and there aren't channels it is contacting every tiny entity in my manifested body and probably psychic aspects. Is more like twinking stars. Waves rising to cone. Not sure if helmet is involved and the drops stream up the cone ribs to star.

Thought a lot about Five-fold brain cells. Could they fill allspace? If they form a lattice of expanded cubes, what is between? Strangely enough, when 5cells congregate they transform into color that I can't see so it looks black. Black hole power. But this is surrounded by white.

Everyone breathes at a different rate so how can this movie work since it must have a fixed rate? It might be that you play the breathe in movie then click it on hold. Then do the same with the breathe out movie. Facebook works as a loop but Vimeo and YouTube don't. More.

2018-02-14

Finding a disconnect between the reservoir of drops underfoot and the cone development overhead. Visualizing feet in pearl drops energizes Kundalini to electrify body connecting with cone action. More.

2018-02-11

Mup yeow. Is what I say when I'm up for yet another adventure in life on earth chez moi. Have I mentioned my new practice of not only breathing with awareness and depth, but encouraging all the vessels in my circulatory system to expand and be openly happy? As much a part of breathing as the nose and lungs. And mind. I did think about plaque, not wanting the expansion to flake off chips that could cause a stroke. Wanting plaque to serve it's purpose of strengthening vessel walls. So be flexible. Somehow this awareness of blood passage and tasks and channeling is strangely elating.

My mind has an image of medieval women in paintings wearing a tall conical hat with veil draped from it. Web says these were copied by artistocrat women from Mongolian warrior women (Mongol warrior queens) who were equal with men. Called hennin. Is this related to Woman's Kundalini? The question is not "is", but how. More.

2018-02-10

Pouring a glass of water. Drinking it in partnership for our day. Wondering if that is a creative act. Is that how consciousness forms vehicles for communication? The basis is that water takes part in forming us and life as we know it. I need water to live. So in order to become more conscious and communicate better, I recognize the part that joins me as a partner. That entity in the glass is not separate, as I am needing stuff too. But at that moment of dedication and acknowledgement we are two beings of consciousness. We synergize. Evolving forms.

I wonder about crazy ideas. Are they worth pondering? Also, is it worth looking up solstice and equinox times? I reserved a camping spot in my nearby forest for the Advance equinox.

2018-02-08

Suddenly seeing the plant winding down the cone as possibly the spiral energy feminine. Like the energy of galaxies and growth. Yes!!! Like the cycles of time. Like our paths in space. Spirals of labyrinths. Not the animal snake. Male centered psyche sees feminine as animal. Sure it is from that perspective. But more basic, cornucopia, evolution, DNA.

This came when wondering if the drops array is truly the right background (as in this video). Conecoil. CoilCone. Somehow thinking I must establish or find a spiral path to walk to celebrate my discovery. I suppose it should be on blessings beach. Or it could be under the power lines. I was wishing there would be one in the forest. Not a labyrinth essentially.

Suddenly remembering the V energy. Hmm. Shekina is the mudra. Do it in three stages. The COB prayer position. The original fingers which is a v. Morph to Shekina. I'm fireworks. I am so excited. Boom.

I keep seeing Venus on the half shell painting as the theme of the announcement vision. She's riding along on top of my car. You have to be a Wholeo Head to get it. Discovering Woman's Kundalini. Should it be feminine? I always associate that with alternative, secondary.

Discovered my memory of Venus is more like Botticelli's primavera, which name I had associated with Venus. Flora is the face I envisioned, except mine had blue sky behind and more trailing flowers such as come from the mouth of Chloris. I do not see a spiral.

From Chloris' name the colour may be guessed to have been green – the Greek word for green is khloros, the root of words like chlorophyll. 

Walking in the forest, talking to head-mounted camera to record visionary thoughts. Today is the day when I realized Women's Kundalini was the vision I had in my car. Or whenever it was, that I recorded in my car. The spiral. That's it. Coil is not Coiled up for me. It's coming both ways around down the cone of connection. So I'm calling it. Cone coil. Did you hear that? I wrote all that in the journal. So it is not lost if I can't hear myself talk. (so I mumble) Pay attention to the omens. Trees down. The spiral aspect of it is my main fascination of the day. There doesn't seem to be any celebration of spirals near me.

Twirling, tw... Wow, I'm seeing Funicula's, kind of twistors coming down, turning clockwise, coming down in a point. To my upper right. Do I have to place those in my cone. I did it. There certainly is an anti-cone energy that I've been tuning into since the galactic beam. .. to be installed? Oops, I see I'm walking into a ... there are a lot of them along this path. Well maybe everywhere but I'm walking towards this floating sea of those little vortices. Like jellyfish. About the height of those blazes on the tree. Speaking to me? I think like cosmic juices, but on a grander scale xx. I guess this is what the male, the Man's Kundalini rose up to meet. But I seem to have a direct tap.

Downed tree. Here we go under the arch of cones. The vortices have sort of a cone in there too don't they? Swelling out and coming to a point. Did you hear that? Vortices have a cone. Pine cone!! Cone coil. They say that's what pineal is based on. Pine cone pineal has a spiral coil energy gathering. I send out sort of reverse vortice though. I thought the cone was a receptor. See a unicorn. Corn horn. I guess. Today it seems like a singer.

I do the mudra {Shekina}.. Primavera Flora is the face of Woman's Kundalini. New sprigs and sprouts. New coiling. What's that memory from? Sprouts that come up (video of finger coiling up CCW) with a little bud on the top. Vines I guess. Complaining about my energy. Vortices have green leaves out of the top. I can see them going counterclockwise too. Advancing cw. Growing ccw. Happy Woman's Kundalini Day. When get to the meadow, I say, I was thinking we could do spirals here.

Vortices hovering overhead. Vortices can't tell people and plants apart. We're so similar. Do I need to tell them about that? Or are they telling me?

The shape of the vortex reminds me of the whelk shell. Seems like elemental Woman's Kundalini shape. Except heh, heh, how reconcile different directions of cone? Is it as simple as sending and receiving? Or is it two kinds of dishes? I think it is two different kinds. Could be something like breathing and heartbeat. Like inner and outer. Quantum and relative. Whduhyano. Nada.

Somehow I'm imagining pointed up vortices are turning ccw towards the point. I'm just seeing one ... voice freaks out and I remember feeling that it was going to tip to the side and not align ... no, it's OK. Now I align my cone with that. Aligning cone. Do I have to attract it? I've got green shoots coming out of my mouth. Attracts a hovercraft. No, don't turn. You don't have to look, I'm talking to you. Just align with my cone. I'll tell you I discovered Woman's Kundalini. Thank you.

Whoaa, omygosh. I'm wearing it. I'm a walking vortex. Wide at the bottom. whysint (?) to turn it clockwise. But there's an inner CCW. Omigod. I'm the outer and the inner goes the other way. Wow. Wow. Earth loves it too. Earth connects. Look it's like music. I point with pole at the dark levels, like notes on the trees and sing them. Song of the burn marks. Song of the flame. Flame song. repeated. rain song repeated. rain gong. rain song. song gong. bi ba bi ba. rain song flame song. (up down rhythm) Oh lichen, come into my dream. lichen and wiregrass.

This vortex seems to be like tlulrn truck furry? I guess it does ressemble a snake male and female. Is it just a polarity? I think it's a new assemblage point. I must say I do not know if this is completely personal or if it is of any interest to anybody else. Wow, the coil does have like a snake skin to it. With patterns. Hexagonal and round. Orange black. Like the towhee colors. Or is that just the color scheme most imprinted on my mind ?

I feel like I've been cloved? Do I have to reenergize this? Is it a trap?

Feels like when I walk, I'm empowering the turn. I could call it a turn. Not an intern. It's what it does. turn and return. Energizing coil, cone, conecoil. Looks like it rises and falls in waves. Constantly circulating.

I wonder if it's not wise to do kundalini all the time. Should it be a meditative experience? Only when sitting and safe? Is this wearing me out walking because of overload? I'm putting too much of my energy into it. I need to know how to stop this? Do I have to retract the cone? retract the ray of the hood. Put the drop back in the pineal. I don't want to mix with walking. it is one thing getting info. It is another thing practicing. I don't seem to feel any better now that I've done that. More.

2018-02-07

Glyph is the right word for what I'm seeing with the Carolyoga Woman's Kundalini cone. In Unicode the glyph is the form of the character. The character is the abstract meaning of the glyph. More

2018-02-06

Shocked to see trails winding around the cone from top down and to the right. Kind of like DNA coils. Also going the other way. First thought was that this path was slower, for slower signals. Not sure of the order of what follows, whether it was the myriad of graphics paths, turning into plant vines, green sprouting and flowers, or starting to weave like a fish basket. It seems to be sort of an earth garden or environment. Called green growth. The original 13 or so rays zinging with communications. Seeing drops arising along the rays. More

2018-02-05

I made up and down arrows to follow threads of thought in the log.

Tuned into the cone and there at the top was a star. As if at a costume party, transforming the witch into a fairy. Then it goes blink blink into different icons. I realized the star is just a pictograph for graphic messages coming. They are traveling down the rays of the cone.

I'm getting graphic language, I need a universal translator or transcriber or image processor. No matter what insight I get on this stuff, I get something else. Then I'm on another quest.

Now I have to wonder, am I seeing pictographs because that's the kind of language I prefer? Or whatever's coming in, it is their preferred mode. In investigating do want it to be different? When looking into it, will it start to adapt to what seems difficult? Should I just attune to what I wasn't expecting? I don't know what I was expecting. I just began to make contact. But I didn't see how I was sending out. I was receiving in drops and sending out in vibes. But I don't know how to talk vibes, so I don't know what I was saying. So do I need a vibe translator? Or an image translator? Or do I want to talk and get back in talk in English?

Seems like what I intend, am conscious of, am trying to do, is what I'm going to achieve. What comes to mind is Photoshop. It is the best original graphics format. It has the highest resolution. It has the best possibilities of anything I would send it to. Or for myself to look at on my screen. And also to fit my speech. I think it's important to send in the highest resolution. So seems like what is under vibes, what I perceive as vibes would be the highest res. There's also the question of power. Hi res would be more trouble in every way. Transmission. So maybe I need to get a better translator. Receiver. So many variables in multi-universe, multi-D communications. But just give it up and realize, this is what your cells do all the time. Your body does all the time. This is what everybody does all the time. It's just your language that you're trying to translate it into. So you can communicate with other people. More.

2018-02-04

Struggling with my computer workstation setup. Not to speak of everything else around it. But my world view is the most important. Got up feeling I was a co-creator of reality. Where do things come from? It feels like everything is consciousness and the art of feeling things out. So as a wave in consciousness that is evolving, I'm at a position of feeling out what elements are available to creation. What resources are there? Asking that question leads to an aroused what-Pat-Carlyle-calls-a body scan. That question is not a mind or heart or gut stimulator. It addresses the interface of this consciousness unit (assuming that I represent anything or something uniquely or seemingly identifiable since it feels like it).

The answer is not discrete parcels of thought. It is rather After Effects lessening of the T, transparentizer as in opaci-T-y, as a shortcut for a feeling of revealing an ongoing process in which I'm participating with no notion of boundaries. But with a sense this is the most important act in my "About" box. Yes, I am defining myself or finding myself defined by media.

For days or daze I'm seeing the hemispherically curved rays of the 2017 Solstice hood with respect to a first-envisioned cone of straight rays. I think the head-oriented end open circle of rays were psychically related to or aligned with the circle of drops or the black hole center focus of the hood. But initially perceived as action from around my head aura back up to a point behind and up from my head along the axis of the finger pointing to the hood center axis. Along the evolutionary way, which I experience in time, ... sentence unfinished because of bodily needs taking precedent over verbal expression.

That is, texting. While away, experiencing hood/cone alternating frequency of views. Flash flash flash flash ... flash. Just like spiritual vs material worlds they seem discrete and yet simultaneously present if not singled out. But I do think the focus of the cone point is beyond hood and hood gesture. I think it is the ACK point of transmission. I think the hood is receiving. Or that's how it seems at this moment. Can I do art of the two together? I can try. Has to be in Photoshop I guess. Would it be more layers in the 3D art of hood? Where is that on my computer system?

Any act requires decision that then impinges upon and contributes to every other act so there is this terror of the moment. The responsibility usually never fully understood in its ramifications.

I was thinking conehead, looked it up and realized no, is not the head. Is cone energy or something. Suddenly realized it has a triangular bounding box that could contain a drop. It is a stylized angular definition of drop. Maybe a drop frame or movement streak pattern. Drop up and out? Drop outward bound? More.

2018-02-01

For several days, whenever I tune in, I get the cone, long tapering cone that points back where my fingers are pointing behind above my skull. At first it was clear that the round arcs of the helmet were flung straight back up from the black hole. Just now it seems that both could be true. The focus point is so pin-pointed. A witches hat describes the shape but that really doesn't match up with the arcs.

I don't know what to do with this imaging. The hood itself could transform to close the circle to a hat brim skull circumference, the rays straighten out and reach up the the focusing fingers. That design is alternative to the two separate overlapping forms. In a way it feels like I'm trying out different arrangements or conformations in a creative evolution design. More.

Another interesting thing is how I sat last night at ECMS meditation. On the edge of intensity. But I do recall a pink kind of flare, like a gesture up a waterfall that was like a flowing tai chi energy. Happening just before *bing**, the closing three bells.

2018-01-31

Loving drinking my morning glass of water. Thinking basically the DNA of the glass of water meets my DNA, the cells know ancestry at every moment. (Note that I have just been reading the results of my relatives' DNA from Ancestry.com and 23andme.com.) There is living participation with this knowledge.

I actually today am doing what I love to do. Exploring new computer adventures in way I want to, on way to where I want to go. Setbacks here I know can be overcome. And this computer is very fun to use. I must next somehow get out of cloud. Or clutches of Adobe. To experiment with using CC software on my own terms. Having feeling that using this software is like cutting edge of history. In the sense that I enjoyed learning history through art history. Now I'm enjoying current life on earth through art on the computer. We wish to be global, peaceful, loving, communicative, supportive, creative, etc. But we need to do this through channels, dependencies, alliances, saying yes to things we don't fully understand, pay for what might be beyond our resources, try things that might go ahead or completely be astray, wasting our precious time. Each turn demands a new decision. No option to say no to them all. Disaster to always saying yes. Quandary and uncertainties at every moment.

Wow there is a third partner in lichens, a fungus that is between the fungus and the alga already discovered.

2018-01-23

Thinking about how vibes travel from drop to wOs (wholeOOsphere) and the gathered reply from wOs to drop. For return I just saw the black hole halo starting at a point at the bottom of the drop and then traveling up the girth of the drop in widening rings and gradually tapering to the point of disappearance at the top. Fetching.

Strange, I just looked at the Staten Island series of paintings from around 1970. The livelies were on my mind as preview of drop to wOs. Looking at it now, I think it was study for incoming sensations, traveling, winding spirally up to brain cell. Had not thought how it resembles DNA coil. But I don't remember why there were two and what the orange and blue represent.

About vibes, show the pattern emanating from drop bottom, flinging through space to hit wOs. Would make more sense to have it hit a square, since one vibe pattern is square? Hmm. Does it deliver a pent? Five rotated square vibe patterns? I know so little about this thing that today's visual has has to be poetic suggestion. Is not factual documentation. Important features to video vibes are: 1) drop to wOs, 2) delivery within wOs, 3) response from wOs to drop. Could have vibes traveling in wavy lines like livelies. At the hit they trigger the color accident graphic (rosy magenta background with rainboid highlit drops). Vibes within wOs are straight lines. More

2018-01-22

Getting feeling I need EIEnor, that is wholeOOspheres, in here. I have no idea how drops fit with them. Did I get that during eclipse? It must be something about the interface between array and figure.

Basic mission: how do drops relate to wholeOOpen? One thought coming over here was: five drops. coalesce into one. Another thought was a drop morphs into one. But there must be something else. Which may be revealed to me on this walk.

I got a fantastic vision and took pains to detail it to remember. Puzzling over relating drops to brain cells. Saw a drop hit a pentagon. Splat into info vibes on impact. Wow. Stream was coming from behind right shoulder (upper right quadrant) to impact slightly looking down at farther wholeOOpen in lower left quadrant. Seems that one drop could then be known by all other 11 pents (just had a freak out over inconsistency that info vibes coming to pents when usually they form on square faces. Also I saw them going to 6 of one brain cell then to all the others. But it is the pents that are connected. Here I thought was what was a clear and definitive vision is muddled.) In general, one drop to one face on EIEnor is shared by whole including five cells. The vision answered the question of how it gets stored (like any brain cell, in memory banks, beads.) and eventually when all five cells synergize response it can be gathered. Didn't say how gathered, did it?

One part of the vision is that the computer creativity of the rose-magenta background and the flashy colors around the drop colors are triggered when drop hits. Like a firework or boom of rosiness and flashes of bright colors to explode impact.

Then there's the question, how does it merge with what the brain cell had to start with. Every part I get opens up to a deeper question. I never get there. Is that what life is supposed to be like, this sequential adventure. Wholeo Dome closed up, got done and people like that. Brain insights are like one little panel in Wholeo Dome. Nobody can see the conglomerate.

Note that pents are the parts that connect to each brain cell. I assume that each solid communicates with its parts, as a whole, even though those parts are separated in visual space. So each brain cell is a whole, even though its sides don't appear to touch. Same with the dodecahedron. Note I still don't have any functioning for the icosahedron, which is the light muscle (or plural).

Later I got the sense that the gathered reply might go up the stem of the drop to the point. More.

2018-01-21

Everything I say or do, is oppositely true. Note that I say "forget 'I'" and then I use "I" in every sentence. Appreciate all sides of statements, truths, beliefs, concepts, ideas.

Aside from the question of who "I" is, as far as the body goes, we're all in this together. We're all equal. There is no aspect or part that is unequal. The mic goes to the part that has the most important thing to say. When you sit to do hip yoga. Go open mic. Who is saying something? What is it? Is there a more comfortable way to get into the starting pose? Remember to release what is holding back for a stretch. Even when just imagining going to stretch. It is not just the stretched, stretching part. It is the opposite part. So when I lean left, I ask right to let go.

State of me is ecstatic. I can hardly contain my bliss. Don't need to. It is continuous everywhere. Looking for an explanation.

2018-01-20

Women's March anniversary. I was a lone woman marcher in Seagrove Beach, FL. We had decided to march tomorrow instead, in sync with Power to the Polls, Nevada. At 10, I put on my sign. Seeing no one, I went to the beach. Saw three small groups of women walking. Were they marching? I walked past big homes, high over the dunes. Suddenly I saw a crack in the land with a stream coming out of it. Amazed at how drawn I am to nature.

2018-01-18

During carolyoga I was feeling the conglomerate of drops under foot. Feeling this was a way to communicate. Communicate with what? But it seemed drop pool launching was happening. And it wasn't time-related or dependent. Instantaneous. Can't remember two-way. A link of some sort. More.

Last night was remembering the pearl breathing in Light Body in 1980. How I've been building up all my life for this. Wish I had stopped and written at the instant of the practice and awareness of it. It was much richer and full experience than I have managed to grasp in recall.

During meditation at ECMS, one singular time that continues to keep me enthralled. It was a realization and physical experience of limitless expansion. No constraint. Yet at the same time black hole truth. That is I felt that both truths described my reality without contradiction. After just being in this condition, the thought came that this is what it means to accept a paradox. I can't remember ever truly understanding acceptance of a paradox. That is, I often see contradictory truths and accept that they mutually oppose each other. But I've never been able to reconcile the mismatched aspects. Never living it. Visually it was kind of like a morning glory. The widening pool and the dark funneling neck.

2018-01-16

Had a multiple personalities experience in kitchen when just done with breakfast prep. Someone saying it is helpful to wash hands more often instead of letting us do it. Sudden feeling that I really am not a single being, I am a team, conglomerate, association. Thinking at the same time that is a dramatization of my tendencies. Also that creativity does it. Thinking Bob Pirsig had it for writing and it got out of control. All points of view about this are correct and OK. Life is not fixed. Truth comes in many forms from many viewpoints. Also was thinking that with awareness and consciousness expansion you do actually work more in expansive time. Future, past and alternate. Thinking of "Mindlessness" as the completing portion with respect to "Mindfulness".

DLSP forest walk. When I walked into the woods, I saw all these ghosts of Carolings that have walked in here. Now I'm feeling this drop array blinking like a signal board or something. Like a body brain. I guess this kundalini is either tuning me into more dimensions than I'm used to or it has turned on my creative imagination to give me a story that it could be. Enriching.

Seeing the deer lichen carpeting in the forest as drops. Saw the variegated sparkling and activity that I had sensed in my aura/body, coming the other way. More.

2018-01-15

I think I just figured out how 5 brain cells coordinate in a tesseract. The inner cube is the primary one, the organizer. The six surrounding cells each interface with the central one, which subtracts one cube from the total of six. That sounds good, but I can't see it.

{Rereading this on 3-12 after seeing the movie on 3-11. Today I asked the same question and did think the inner cube would be the organizer. Didn't remember these previous thoughts. Today is seeming to be actually a next step in comprehending wOs. 4 or 5D. Wow. And a way to travel in the mind, which is really shamanic even if in the movie it is scientific. But it is called an "8-cell" so I'm wrong unless there is a deeper understanding.}

Which is real, the concept or the spacial representation of it? Usually I need both. I'm thinking that five brain cells separately are 30 faces. When they congeal in process or practice of 5D, their faces do not look like or function like separate cubes. That's the point. I feel like I'm making visible some invisible text that has already been written. Time definitely gets strange in tessering. OK in the tesseract each cube now has 5 faces {not}. There are six cells for a total of 30 faces {not}. There is an inner cube interface they share and an outer cube interface they share {not}. Somehow, is this sharply diverging from my beloved Bucky and his triangles? What I can't see is the interim. I can't make a movie of how they migrate, which is so clear in the EIEnor.

Link of the MathWorld description to hypercube emphasizes that the cubicly picture is how it looks in 3d. They say it has 8 cubes, counting the inner and the outer. They say there are 24 squares. {24 squares would be 4 cubes, so clearly they are counting some sides more than once. Of course when two cubes are side by side, they each have a side, just touching.} The dual of the tesseract is the 16-Cell, which is all triangles. Also called a hyperoctahedron or hexadecachoron. Made of 16 tetrahedra. TODO: get sci-fi novel Factoring Humanity by Robert J. Sawyer. {Got it as Kindle doc on 3-12.} The hypercube initially exists unfolded as a series of connected 3-d cubes, Maybe not, "page 92 has a diagram of a hypercube. This is a real mathematical object which is to a cube what a cube is to a square. In particular, it is what you get by taking a row of four cubes, sticking four more on the four visible sides of the second one and then identifying all of the remaining sides by `folding it' up. This object can only be embedded into spaces of dimension greater than four so it is not something we can really see in our daily experience."

2018-01-14

Finished re-reading A Wrinkle In Time. " Tessering" is to travel in time or space with the concept of a Tesseract which is a 5D object. Contrary to what I thought, the book doesn't detail it. Just said that Father didn't tesser right, when doing it for the government. Why would one travel with a temporal/spacial dimensional concept? Anyway the idea that love is what keeps us from evil is of course a common generalization. But maybe is how people interpret evolutionary intensity, like has happened to me twice at ECMS.

Doing some searching, found out that the movie Interstellar that I stalked on TV last year has time/space travel through tesseract and love is key, just like wrinkle. The Wolfram Research/MathWorld description of Tesseract has a list of movies where it appears.

2018-01-13

This morning really love yesterday's song. I feel at the start needs some complexity to lead in from the multiplicity of the world to the singularity of the flows. I'm hearing the Zen bell thread, maybe in and out of this meditation. Also a sharp sound. Yesterday I got it by drumming on a glass with some water in it with the tea bag squeezer.

This could be the sound for the whole movie. Starting on the forest porch, raising arms, visualizing hood, zooming out as channels form and drops flow down. Most movies we see are team works, symphonic. Individual's vision is a different art form. Like a solo? This movie can just be sound sometimes. And just be still sometimes. And just be moving sometimes. To zoom into its components. Aside from the end, just sound and no sound, could there be no sound somewhere within? I see that when emphasize the black hole. Which strangely enough I'm seeing as transportation.

Here's a sequence idea. The black hole glows. 2s. Rays of hood gradually draw down to form cap. 2s. Array of drops in environment somehow gathered into black hole, the wholeo galaxy prototype. 2s. Drops appear at ends of rays. Enlarge dropping down to figure. 2s. Then to pool. 10s total start. This is all without setting or figure.

Another sequence idea. Start with 2s of forest with moving fog. Figure raises hands and stops where hands directly above black hole. At this point the black hole begins to glow, the person and background fade. From now on we are in the dark or a greatly dimmed down version until streaming figure arises. More.

2018-01-12

I don't like the music I hear. Somehow the beat, frequency and words are not matching my experience. Just sang it. Seems to invite changing speeds.

Also need more drops in space. Some bigger up front. Some smaller, receding. In music (music?) punctuation/time with the emphasis changes. All I saw was drops accumulating and doing their own rhythm at the foot. Does patina fish tail appear slowly? I should make of movie of drawing it. I see the cross hatching lines appearing in rhythm with the beat. Oh I wish the dropping strands could waver as kelp forest. More.

2018-01-10

It is one of those wake-up-way-too-early-but-so-excited-about-publishing-day-that-I-can't-go-back-to-sleep days. 3:20am. I am thinking pearl step and wondering how kundalini fits with that. So similar. It is like Leo coming in to life like a Lion and going out like a Buffalo. Like an evolving representation, that is.

Could a drop be a dynamic pearl? It looks like it. It is directional and implies movement, even time. Whereas a pearl is still. More.

2018-01-09

Reading a Noosphere message from Time is Art people, I feel hardly any resonance beyond the feeling that people's consciousness of the noosphere is limited. I can't get the frequency and time arguments or see what a calendar has to do with it. Also can't see a divine plan or time lords. Not part of my awareness.

Walking in the forest, doing pearl-step, pearl-pearl-step in word and tone. At one point it seemed like the streams of drops flared up like a skirt or tent. Near to that time I had a sense I could leave this body for that one. This body would drop down dead and I would soar off separately, yet with all aspects of that completely unknown.

I have integrated Woman's Kundalini hand position and streaming visualization into Carolyoga. More

2018-01-07

I'm having Woman's Kundalini vision++. The drops flow down, reminding me of the strange jellyfish with illumination in the deep of the ocean. Drops of light finding a dark woman body I don't know well. Rather mermaid-like. The drops running in meridians, forming at the base, below feet one drop that is a reservoir. The dark body has the features of flowing over breasts and pregnant belly, rather like those ancient swelling neolithic goddess figures.

I don't know if the kundalini is response to the serpent power arousal or if it is an arousal that is a drop power arousal in the other direction. I don't know how much of the kundalini culture and description can be adapted to this new energy discovery. Am I discovering or exploring? OK, both work. For example, when Hiram Bingham was exploring in Peru, he found Machu Picchu that had existed all along. But he discovered it for tourists and enabled new uses. I don't know if my finding these structures is analogous to that. I did put it in mystical camping at a ritual time so haven't found it as carolyoga yet. But it feels like it is going there. This drop becoming like earth pool. Also related to the lightness I've been feeling. Often I feel dance-like in movement and gravity-free.

Mermaid fish-fin feet stir pool to access the earth currents. Of inner pool. Making dark body a conductor. This connects into deep belonging like being a member of a contributory crew to some aspect of evolution not part of my awareness previously. Like a dark landscape of similar operations conducted by others. Drops up more like flowers with petals 4 or five that don't seem to impede the drop flow like it would in air against gravity. The petals seem to carve or maybe touch channel edges on and in arising. Rose gold, galaxy green and spirit blue. Channel edges like a third rail for electric-powered train. But more like the edges of a tube, so all the petal edges conducting. Like hot-air balloons in profile.

I need to get images of the process in the movie that I can't see without internet. Next I'll have that and the completion of the circuit in stills. Seems like I have new eyes and action in the dark. Or a dark.

Our evolution is not only to go to Mars, but to create new worlds stemming from this consensus 3D world but seemingly in the dark, not dependent on sunlight to be seen, with its own inner illumination. Not dependent on gravity to cohere. Having it's own inner energy forming abilities. Not sure about time. Or how relates to brain expansion or Elobeing. More.

2018-01-06

Going through the file folders of Wholeo Dome stuff looking for things to send to The Farm glass people. Have to admit to a weighty impression of futility. Nailing it were the criticisms from book publishing companies and potential Wholeo Dome locations. Statements like: not on our topic, need financing, not sketchy enough for this, not professional enough for that, finer lines. Then there were the failed nibbles, the people who tried to promote Wholeo and my books for me. Some big names and institutions approached and receded. I am of two minds about it. One I know that Pirsig tried harder to promote his book than I did, approached more publishers before finally getting support. I can see my publishing and even my artwork now are just one long try at being a successful artist with pretty much the same message. Is what keeps me going simply the value to me? Yes. Two in spite of any efforts I make to help The Farm resurrect Wholeo Dome, I haven't much hope.

2018-01-05

Does the spirit coil pick up the drops from the cap? Are the drops related to cosmic juices? Where does this cap go from here? Just saw that it over-arched the meditation group. Drops to all. Did I write that I saw it also going to each cell, tiny. More.

Seems like I'm seeing analogous things. Like the assertion that you are God. For me that doesn't work but the idea that everything is the whole from a certain perspective. Not in any way separate, just able to provide a different viewpoint to awareness. I can put this on wholeo.net to become a node in a net of peace. Started looking at this stuff, good rhythm, good movement: School of Movement videos

2018-01-04

I got sucked into the Facebook whirlpool. Whitney asked for a yin resolution. What am I resolving to accept? I said the fleeting nature of plans. When future meets present and they are widely different, laugh. Have I been doing that? Can I do it better? We shall see. Or we won't see. Can we hope to see? If we don't will we know it?

Mostly intensity in meditation. Had a non-corporeal experience, kind of like the way I can see part of my nose, but it is transparent. This was more non-spacial. Like I could see my body but not be a part of it's weight or positioning. Felt somewhat dissociated but also levitated. I explored the ring of meditators somehow. Grateful for it.

Woman's kundalini appeared. Like a hood of stars. It is so mystical I just am in awe of it. Perplexed because here I am describing parts of it, features of it but not enough to establish it. More .

During meditation intensity was building up with the feeling of how can this be any more so? Ding, the ending bell rang. It felt like my inner core intensity and the outer intensity of sound were continuous and causally related. Like hitting the ground and the mercury pressure rises up the shaft and rings the bell.

Later one of the 4 women in the small group that had shared that we all had experienced body scan before in various ways came up to me. She said "I want to share my perception of your warm strong aura and loving feelings". I said it is a wonderful group of people or I love group meditation. I thought that thanking her would be an ego-driven response, as though I tried to exude, or valued being more loving than others. My feeling was, no it is intensity. My experience is just a degree of being burningly intense. No other descriptors.

2018-01-03

About Woman's Kundalini. Call it channeling. Seeing the two hands as double risen snake heads. Let's call it Kundalini++. How can I photograph the two hands the way I see them with fingers pointed to eyes? The two palms cupped. A Visionary Meditation page has a hand position that is a precursor to this. Mosque-top thumbs. There I have the knuckles and palms overlapped to cup crystalline earth. I'm getting the feeling that Womans kundalini remains risen. Does not have to be repeatedly energized from below. Cap can be Geome cupped.

Reading the text I am so moved. The white orbs that remind me of devas of Peru now remind me of the flying drops I saw with respect to drops on cap. I have a better name for it: kundalini cap. The shape is expanded cap as in head covering. The only association that is problematic is that a "cap" often encloses and stops something within. Whereas this channels from without.

I'm learning so much today. What can I possibly publish? I did not record in journal when I saw drops as an array. How about a graphic of my drawing over the water drops on the screen on the retreat? Well as it turned out in Photoshop, the screen did not get in. Dissolve blending did a lot for the background. I did get the feeling of a flying radiant-drop. More.

2018-01-02

Having so many crashes of computer when working on video that I stopped and researched exactly what new iMac Pro I should order. I hope throwing thousands of dollars cures this problem.

2018-01-01

I've considered following 7 Days of Rest, a global internet project. Considered joining Panama City Pagans. Did not go on any of the first-day hikes I knew were happening. About all I've done is what is almost frame-by-frame progress on my woman kundalini video. At night I did brave the freezing cold to get a picture of the full moon with the constellation Orion and the star Sirius.

2017-12-27

Trying to describe my web work to someone. I find that I present the same vagueness that so disturbs me about the word "God". When I say "kundalini" to someone it might not only be unfamiliar to them, it is incredibly difficult for me to pin down. It is easy to get a limited description which would not relate to my use of it. I feel like I fell off a cliff. I don't know anything else to do except climb back up and continue my personal journey. Many times I have not understood aspects of my guidance for years after I got and followed it.

2017-12-25

With respect to the wakeup meditation vision of 12-21, searching for kundalini in wholeo.net, an ad came up at the top of the search results page. emergingsciences.org/kundalini-experimental-project/ says kundalini is the evolutionary energy residing in the human body. Later they say it is a mechanism linking the activity of the reproductive system and the brain. Pranayama stimulates the center at the base of the spine near the sex organs. My vision indicates a separate process. Not linked to sex organs or chakras or flow charts of ancient systems. Reading 2017-11-02 web log, says kundalini was sphere expansion.

Working on the solstice vision art. Have sort of cap with clumsy drops so far. Seems there might be a small elliptical oval at the top, from which exude the drops of nectar that flow down the ribs and replenish the end drops. They do not fall but fade and so are renewed by the flow. Each rib different timing so all drops not falling at once. Still don't have a description of function, duration, occasion and so on. That is, don't know much about it. Kundalini is an orgasmic fountain increase in awareness. This is more like a thinking cap.

During yoga got a hand position for activating or channeling the woman kundalini. Tried to get some photos of one arm. The backs of the straightened fingers from knuckles down are pressed together. Both arms are fully raised and stretched back so fingers are pointing at the cap and thus down to the bald spot on the head. This is like at the top of the head but toward the back 3 or 4", matched up with the center of the tilted cap. Thumbs are together pointing back. I guess I need a tripod setup and movie to try to visualize it.

It is an evolution of the hand position for visionary meditation. More.

2017-12-24

Just caught an anomaly with respect to Carolyoga Noosphere and wholeOOsphereing. Previously it was five brain cells expanding. Then I experienced all cells expanding as shown at the top of the page. I don't remember having had guidance that cells also have cube structure. Am I making some assumption that is invalid?

2017-12-23

I can't find the pic I remember from an old journal entry. It is of my head with a shape like a colander inverted over my head, maybe a hemisphere about 3" from my skull all around. Coming over my eyes, through mid-ears, just above hairline in back. It is dotted or dashed lines radiating from the center of the top of the hemisphere. At the end of each line is a drop or droplet. The main reason I wanted to find it is to read the guidance that came with it. Now writing this, I see a form with drops or pearls set into the line. Spaced 2" apart. This expanded skull cap may serve as antenna. Something like a crown for European royalty. Or is it related to five brain cell coordination. There are at least 12 strands. More.

I feel like I could die any minute. I feel like my art is so important the whole world should know about it, see it, understand where it is coming from and where it is going. On the other hand there is an equally strong feeling that the purpose of this adventure is for me to follow the threads, for me to see it. It is not about fixing the insights into matter or needing to be seen by anyone else.

2017-12-22

I was doing a lot of mind-wandering last night. Alternated with pure intensity of being. There were a few powerful visions. One was of EIEnor with wholeopens, a large one in the middle of the room, while smaller ones poured forth as in my graphic of the week. Suddenly I felt like a mentor or way-shower where cells all around were getting it. Was it even molecules of stuff? Like everything coming into this greater organization of matter?

2017-12-21

For the first day of this mini-retreat see 2017-12-20. This morning I slept through the alarm and missed synchronized birthday solstice meditation with my daughter. She did better for both of us, writing:

Happy Birthday Caroling, such a beautiful spirit I am so blessed to be connected to! Happy Winter Solstice! It may be the darkest moment but I feel the lightest. I am at this time "Lizzie Magenta" and I bring a sparkly pink Magic that seasons the space between atoms, brings things together and allows for the best possible outcome to happen. It is about relaxing, straightening out, sitting up straight, breathing in deeply, being warm and feeling connected. It is an authentic, it is an intimate, it is opened up! As Lizzie Magenta I am heading into a year of new possibilities, operating at a new frequency and sense of understanding. I am standing on a bedrock of faith that "everything is going to be OK" and that I am bringing value and that I am here because I am supposed to be. I am here for cookies and hugs and I give them too. There are so many gifts to open and we can do it together! Amen Ache!!!! The boys got up without protest and we said a prayer for you. Here are individual Birthday wishes from the boys: Hans: Stay healthy! Max: Have a GREAT day! Leo: Have fun today!

I did meditate and wrote:

Lizzie Magenta I’m with you between atoms. Thank you for the gift of connecting the colors of my day. Meditating solstice birthday with my birthed one made it clear that the radiant one is a choice. Ongoing for me now this morning. I am out of words but full of {heart symbol}.

Oh yes and it (serpent power) is not kundalini for an evolving female. There is a radiant source like a hair drier hood of sparks to be attended. More.

I'm so thrilled that my stellar daughter can access her mistical mystical queen self. She found Lizzie Magenta. For me those words have instant meanings, not sure if is true for her. Arrow. For me how quizzically ironic that the archer of Sagittarius arrow of alignment is what it is all, all, all, about. But Lizzie is what Mel first said was not her name, after he had named her Elizabeth. Magenta for me is the queen color, no the beyond color that is the continuum of the color wheel, that connects ultra violet blue with ultra infra red orange ness. The ultimate between. And it is ironically true of being mixed. Divine mediator.

From the slightly rosier fog in the SE, I guessed sunrise direction about 6:40AM CST.

Solstice meditation was aligned, balanced, tuned in. I must have been profoundly immersed because my words on video are muffled and there is no memory. Try to keep this alignment for one year. When I come back and all is the same. Just coming in costume.

At night I conducted the Emerald Coast Meditation Society meeting.

I had forgotten the solar-powered lantern to act as the sun but came up with a better metaphor. Our circle was the earth. The fountain out in the courtyard was the sun and the north pole was the galactic center. The alignment was important for me with opened emotions of joy and success vs out of control situation. Writing this it seems that I can control the galaxy. Nothing is out of my control. That I don't understand. But I did become aware when talking about a central alignment that my feelings are OK but I don't have to be identified with them. Funny, during the day after I realized that kind of truth, all the expressions of wishing good things for people seemed so pointless. Feelings are what people have and it doesn't matter the degree of things you like about them. What matters is the completeness of humanness you are able to be, authentically, and yet not be identified with them. If not identified, then what, MS mind guru. Not. Yaani said she liked hearing how I came to Zen. Cindi was so complementary about liking to listen to me talk. How I pick just the right word. A new woman said she would not have come here if she had not been attracted by the ECMS online. That makes it clear that the online outreach is important. At least for one woman.

Quarter Days

Some of these might appear chronologically if there are relevant comments. Checking dates here: http://aa.usno.navy.mil/data/docs/EarthSeasons.php

2018-03-20 Advance Equinox or March equinox - March 20 at 16:15 GMT (March 20 at 11:15AM CDT on Tuesday) weB log details

2018-06-21 Inner Solstice or June solstice - June 21 at 10:07 GMT (June 21 5:07AM CDT on Thursday) weB log details

2018-07-25 Day out of Time - July 25. Day Out of Time on Wednesday

2018-09-22 Follow Equinox or September equinox - September 23 at 1:54 GMT (Sept. 22 at 8:54PM CDT on Saturday) weB log details

2018-12-21 Outer Solstice or December solstice - December 21 at 22:22 GMT (4:22PM CST on Friday, day before full moon) weB log details

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