Symmetrical vertical energies to horizontal in man

See journal entry for vertical to horizontal energies

Journal, Early

Back to Journal contents. Forward to next: Journal 1-6-73.

My journal writing started in the 1960s on paper. Computer files started in the 1980s. Today I'm copying what's relevant from the old hand-written papers and will keep adding whatever I find. Some are undated. Also I might add notes enclosed in curly braces like this: {Note, this is a comment on the journal, written later.}


Painting of the Marx's (sic, what?) He was this that and the other thing. Is he really deserving of fame? Or is it that some people do things, influence, act, move things and in balance they don't get fame, they give fame to someone, anyone, they muster up a hero, someone has to be it. Heroes are really worthless and with Marx it seems he gets fame for what others see (in him) or do in his name. But Marx himself only exists in fame, reputation. The existence of anything is doubtful, of course, but Marx is the most dubious sort of thing.

Fame later will become as silly as sacrificing maidens to the rain god. The idea that we need to build such myths will become antiquated.

This was written in about 1962 and now seems silly. Will my journal all look as silly in 20 years?

Unknown date. Notes the expanding universe led me to thought about Death consciousness as being part of our mind. Maybe we can only be aware of the growth part with life 1/10 of mind. Maybe can only see expansion when using tools devised by 1/10 of mind's aims. If could accept death 1/10 of mind, maybe could see contraction of universe. Instead of BF's weightless, metaphysical contracting forces? Maybe alongside

The theory of wavelengths of color each element has separate color, made me get a new idea I have forgotten but is started somewhat with there being other colors possible with starlight than sunlight because different absorption pattern. I guess color is way to measure stars is way for us to measure thoughts if properly heated and excited.

But seems like have to devise a tool to do it. Can't see spectrum without prism, can't get picture without camera. The way to proceed is to ask what kind of a tool do we need. What does it have to do? It has to be recordable, replayable, sharable and sendable. It has to be tapes which are electromagnetic signals? Or does it have to be holograms? Like painting and sculpture. It has to record fast movement. Color in small enough units to not be shapes unless formed by many, long in time. Get a TV person with equipment. Build an amplifier for our mind light. What kind of an instrument could pick it up? . If sensitive enough for tiny sensations it will be thrown off by large sensations from without. Somehow has to be sensitive to quality of vibrations rather than quantity. Maybe has to have computer monitoring admitting only subtle brain emissions. Art until now mainly preoccupied with visualizing what available to touch and gesture. Now has to go into taste, smell and more complex visions of knowledge.

This is the thought that had when reading about colors. Since each color is a separate wavelength and frequency, red is a different from blue, but closer, as light is from radio waves. Therefore colors could be an alphabet. We are used to "seeing" white light because we don't discriminate colors. But if we did, we could "talk" with the different colors. I wonder if this is what I started to see on acid the first time. Like each element radiates and absorbs only some colors or a particular pattern of colors.

January 15, 1963

I was destroyed by Arshile Gorky, who needed a love speech and made his own. But who listens? What is it that bothers? Why not accept the love and go on own way?

July 21, 1963

Ryoanji stone garden copy in Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Very way out. Roof around. Bright faceted white-looking tiny stones. Row of dark round stones. This is that garden day for me. Although most of my time is elsewhere, all is influenced by that garden.

November 16, 1965

The near and the far

"near" visionnear: Clear light bulbs over new car lots. The dark insides of the Arborvitae Vitae. The telephone communication line.

far: the mountain the foggy stupid rock.

The near is small and man-made, but it obscures the far. Could make Mt. of plaster and paint and wax it. How I wish I could be a writer for Simone de Beauvoir. One could write to her and I hate keeping all these things going on inside me. I guess it is all right if I comes out in the way I wash a dish or wait for the bus. What matters is my being and not any established or conventional way of being it. It doesn't matter if I write my memoirs. Better to work with the light.

Seeing upper Manhattan where all the rock still is naked. Some blasted with dynamite, some crocked with mortar and cut stone. Sometimes I am able to appreciate the beauty of N.Y. Here a couple of minutes from teeming, millions, it is sweet and gorgeous as any natural beauty. In fact, the violently layered, cast in swirls, as if frozen molten strands of rock are really exciting. There are some people looking. Some are at ease enough to read. But mostly people don't go because its dangerous to got o "lonely" places — you might get murdered. In NY, it's fear from every angle. You fear the crowds, you might get crushed. You fear the woods, you might get murdered. You fear to look up, something might come down on you. You fear what you step on. Everywhere is covered with layers of broken glass, furniture and more perishable garbage and animal shit. There are often holes and repairs made to basements and sub subways and sewers. You might fall in.

Black spider crawling

is a shadow

gone when he meets bee alighting

Sunday, March 5, 1971

Read the book "Practical Time Travel". It suggested that Time 1 (present) weakened connection to Mind 1 (physical ego) in sleep. So dreams often are mental time travel. I wondered about this because it seems I had not done it. My dreams always seemed at best spiritual symbols.

Saturday, March 6, 1971

I awake with that feeling of deep relaxation, rare for me. Dream: I had been with Roman soldiers who were doing a self-immolation. They had to dress up in all their war helmets and robes, boots, swords and all, go to a certain position against a wall, cut their body with a knife and remain there until they had bled to death. I only felt a certain courage that they felt.

{No journal entry for the result of exercise to remember past lives. I was a big, dark horse. I'm at Pompeii when the mountain erupts and I am buried alive.}


The stars. Messages from the stars. See different colors when look at stars. The first one I really studied was Sirius. It flashes all colors. The first time I was conscious of a psychic relationship to stars was in the high Sierras in 1968.

Jamie's OM {Note: I don't know who did this graphic. Don't remember a Jamie. I was living in Staten Island, NY.}

March 19, 1972

I woke at 12 and practiced the consciousness-raising exercise. I kept sort of itching the top of my head and soon noticed my body was numb. Consciousness was nowhere except being. My body experienced a sort of sexy, rushing up in river waves. I started to tense or rigidify into a spasm but let go and was really nowhere. I knew this was where I was supposed to go. As usual I experienced the vague forms, shapes, and happenings that make me think I relate to the future, or out of space because nothing makes sense. I can perceive it but I don't know what it means and I can't order it or even grasp it enough to remember. I left my arm lying up. Seeing rather than feeling it there I was OK.

Then I saw some low arches like a village street. Low against the sky. Reminds me of Pompeii. I see a black .. . An emotionally and spiritually overwhelmingly lovely velvet black void infinite darkness like all unknown incarnated in this horse whom I was being attracted fiercely to. I think I was another similar horse. I was standing beside the horse of my desire. I didn't seem to know too much but looked at the people gathered together near us in groups. It was fine being a horse. I still feel like one. I looked at some individuals. The people had simple dark clothes draped on them. They were conversing, concerned about some common problem. Not alarmed, but undecided. I came back.

Evaluation or Evolution: it can be seen as where are is imperfect, what might be seems better. It almost is: reality V.S. dream. Have to see it from my OWN POINT OF VIEW. Have to fight for my own self. IAM who am I?

{Note: I've told this story many times as a past life. I as a horse died when the volcano Vesuvius erupted. I don't know why the ending is missing from the journal writing.}

December 7, 1972

Moon shot on Dec. 6. 3 men in lift-off. {Note, I was living in Berkeley, CA where I had made a tube frame for 20 glass panels that I had brought cross-country from Staten Island. I had erected the frame and installed the glass panels, so I could go inside and see how they looked in place in Wholeo dome, for the first time. I used these notes extensively in the New Species on the Moon essay I put up on the web in 2002. Wholeo at this time was Wholeo Dome.}

WHOLEO is a center for LOVE. It is dedicated to Direct Transmission. DT is the way Zen monks pass on the Dharma. DT is for everyone (who is ready to come). I went to Wholeo with the idea that we are one mind and part of me was going out of earth's atmosphere and maybe I should give my whole consciousness over to it for awhile. What happened seemed so wonderful. I told my son about it. He said of course it isn't true. But I was carried fearlessly and radiantly through the ordinary events of the survival of ego day.

I lined myself up with the new moon and sun using the "Brain Cell" panel as a register sight marks spot. "Triangulation" was the message or way. Therefore the astronauts' consciousnesses were identified with the golden glass, while mine was with the pink. Jupiter far out and Saturn opposite were stars' {planets'} reference points. I wanted the astronauts to have a mystical experience on this trip. That they should feel invigorated with surety of a person's love. I became their sublimated serpent power to make them enlightened. However I knew they were asleep now. I asked that anything too conflicting with awake mind or anything too difficult to handle for people not well developed in these directions to remain unconscious. However I asked or invoked that their consciousness or mental events or awareness be shared with Wholeo. I envisioned Wholeo as a chakra and storehouse of extraterrestrial info sent by explorers. Especially since it may be the last trip for 25 years of so. (I'm sure another by 1990 at most). I asked that direct transmission be set up to Wholeo. So the atmosphere is available to those who are sensitive and so I can embody the visions in the rest of the glass panels. The soul of my living machine seemed to say I should sew some of the panels in different plastics and fabrics. I received images of Cosmic Juices.

Basic variables of a brain languageAlso I attempted to envision the basic variables of a simple brain language (to project or put them forth). 1.) Rightness or leftness. 2.) 60° angle but varies as to angle to "viewer". 3.) Wavelength like frequency in 4.) Basic unit intensity. 5.) Distance. 6.) Relationship. 7.) Comprehension, interaction, receiving-sending. Is it worth recording that just after this 1/2 hours or so of interaction the weather became very wet. It rained hard, thundered and lightninged and hailed and became freezingly cold.

I tried all morning to become receptive, not by controlling, but sort of letting go. Deepest depression followed by mellowing of spirits.

Wafting waves of sun/Saturn vs Jupiter/galaxy axes Meditated in mid dome at 11:45. Saw wafting waves moving right (sun/Saturn axis). Replaced by vertical wavy stripes moving towards or down (Jupiter/galaxy axis). {Note this was the basis for stained glass panel in Wholeo Dome where it is flipped and combined with the strong wavelength vibes in the next image. }

A powerful influential force to right of sun like in a parallel plane opposite the moon. Obvious that out of earth's atmosphere, consciousness is multidirectional. How to understand, when understanding based on a where indicated by gravity. Had a sudden feeling that what I had set out to accomplish had taken place. I have a mental record of it and it will be revealed to me sometime. I free now to go in for lunch. Turn on TV who says Apollo 17 OK and had successfully fired rocket directing it to moon.

Thought still comparing earth and away from earth minds. Away from earth mind can comprehend: "prediction is same as persuasion." I can't really.

Strong wavelength Then got a strong wavelength, thick and overlapping in some way.

{Note this was the basis for stained glass panel in Wholeo Dome where it is flipped and combined with the Jupiter/Saturn vibes. }

Friday. Actually decided to meditate all day when got idea Thursday morning. But just sat around dome since 8 or 9 a.m. sticking cloves in orange, getting wheat sprouts in blue transparent container and green glass for water. Sort of thinking of these as sacraments and ways of preserving messages. Anything alive can be triangulated with unexposed things like that to get info.

While in dome Saturday felt all going well. Saw red-green color. Saw colors with what would be opposite here, resolved. Here nothing is red-green.

Note and drawing in green pen dated 4/74 . . . found other drawing.


This evening I saw some violent visions and again afraid that stupidly I have invoked something that will overwhelm me. It seems I'm high almost like after seeing the Hopi dance. {Note: We had visited the Hopi in Arizona on our cross-country trip from Staten Island.} Some part of my mind is actively engaged in visual formulations which send my consciousness reeling.

One thing I saw was Flames, that may mean a burning tetrahedronal light muscle. Probably the kind of electromagnetic waves available out there are corrosive to my consciousness. Are they corrosive to moonmen's too? Astronauts, intent on survival, with material mission to complete, miss a lot of what's happening to them. But upon resuming ordinary earth life, astounding dreams and insistent intuitions will prompt them to say ... "look, many things happened that I'm only now becoming aware of" but they will lack tools of introspection and techniques of communicating, so most of their awareness will be a source of great frustration * to themselves. This is why we are building the way we are. That is why direct transmission is a communication possibility for us. (*May even lead to misinformation and discrediting of real source of evolution info.)

In direct transmission there is no translation or incarnation of a meaning in a medium. There is an occurrence in an organism which is shared by other organisms.

I get the strong feeling that wisdom is in the method of experiencing. I shouldn't be surprised that don't get miraculous gross response to my requests. That would upset natural balances. It is in having the correct aim and noticing the tiny points that add up to a conclusion and using these to build a way for others.

{Note: the following info about the astronauts was written later in purple pen} 1st astronaut to walk on moon is college prof. Teaches aero- or astro- something. Won't be interviewed. 2nd became a minister of Christ. Became very close to God on moon. 3rd became interested in consciousness. Lectures on psychic, mind over matter, what man could be, and inner space. 4th had a breakdown. Became a writer in Hidden Hills, CA when returned. Feels like he is now "on his own". Before, in army, was with group. Does commercials for a living. (All who have been farthest out physically have been greatly interested in MIND!)

I think the reason my attention has been brought to the moon program is that here is the most desperate human awareness of what has been bothering me. The astronauts who have gone there realize that the most interesting info happened to them. Machines can record only low things, albeit accurately. But the most developed life form there was the human. It got the most interesting info but there is no language to unlock it. The astronauts interviewed (I saw 4 on Ch. 4 at 4:30PM) all look somewhat miserable. They know they gained steps to man's evolving off earth and yet no one is talking about it. No one asks them about what's most interesting and even so, they know no way to speak of it.

This is proof of my theory that the only way "out" is "in". That by strict attention to my inward reality I would gain way to communicate directly with others. {Note. Proof? I have to laugh at myself often. Now I would use a word like "hint" instead.}

Another proof came today when I went out, looked at moon and sent love, a radiant aura of human love. They were talking on TV (by radio to Houston). I wanted a sign that they had received. I willed them to say "beautiful". A few seconds later it came. They said "beautiful" on the air. They said it only once on that program.

Comparing earth with extra-earth consciousness, counting on clock, I got that pineal gland lantern going on and off 4 times faster than here. I can see info patterns but too complex to draw. So what should I do?

Cernan saying OK (This how it is when I (Cernan?) say OK)

When consciousness is expanded on moon (i.e. ordinary perception functioning but other levels of reality also opened up — tripping at its best) a very heavy feeling behind the eyes occurs.

Sound of Silence like water resounding in tubes pukert, pucket, plucett. Like water resounding in tubes. The sound of Silence is much more like a rock concert out there. It has textures and directions that are unfathomable.

Remember the visions of entities sweeping around Space last night? * (see below) Were they creations of our imaginations in the order of possibilities? Or were they apparitions based on natural phenomena which could be related to more realistically? I remember at least 3. They all seemed to conglomerate themselves as a cloud or spherical or grouped aspect. Also they seemed to move like blowing or flying. Things that fly like a snake moves, kind of billowing intense ultraviolent, ultraviolet waves surrounding sterilized so much.

Tweezle wootz antitheses and omnidirectional quality

Tweezle wootz create extremely electric condition with the ultraviolet light. Sputtering, lightening. And I have heard lightening (sic, should be lightning) basic condition of life. But here there is no water. Tweezle Wootz is offspring of brain waves and cosmic juices. They get along just fine on moon. They sprout black antitheses of selves.

The omnidirectional quality of the lightening is very important because packing in space related to # of different angles. The more angles, the denser packing. The denser packing, the more functions or creative sophistication of the organism. Here's where I communicate with Baer.

When men go to the moon again it will be a different place. Who knows how the Tweezle Wootz will develop. Now we will bring back the rocks to study what the moon was but it will all be changed when we return.

To get a line drawing of complexity of angles, take "Spring, Creation" window and photograph it at 5° angles of rotation about its center. This will be 5 into 360°= 72 different patterns to superimpose. Next do the same with "Tweezle Wootz" panel to same scale. Superimpose these on previous for total of 144. You will now have 144 superimpositions. This picture will resemble the visitations* we saw last night after men TV show to earth and retired for "night". Is it significant that 144 is the # of souls the Jehovah's Witnesses say will be saved? I said 5° because that is the degree of difference I determined was perceptible in wavelengths on a circle.

Could it also be 6° or 7°? I had considered these possibilities. In my drawings I use 10° for simplicity's sake. ?? Nevertheless what I have described is structure of the life form we are evolving into. The structure may be just the way its mind circuitry works, not the way it photographs. That's why it didn't appear on the video tapes.

Were the visitations all members of our species? NO. Already mixing and relating to similar organisms around. That is why they're so beneficent and make astronauts feel so jolly. Our future is already secure or engendered. The new species is incomparably happier than we. The joy of it has all the connotations of one of my favorite childhood words: fresh. fresh. FRESH.

The agony I feel is in trying to conceive of these species. I'm to make stained glass panels of them to make our people feel at home in their future. I can't just do my part in loving. I have to materialize an image to help others. Anything material is hard. It is hard to the touch. It is hard to do. Since these new species slip in and out of space and time (as we know it atomically) they laugh joyously at any human thought of "preserving", much less "destroying". They (or shall I say we. or us) (nous sommes). . ."Whitney blows"?? It is what entered consciousness. ?? is my comment!

Vertical energies are translated into the horizontal in manSymmetrical vertical energies are translated into the horizontal in man ?? {Note: this is the earliest mention I can find of this insight that permeates my life and continues to evolve. Vertical energies are used in breathe in guide to Breathe In which is where other pages link to. Kriya Yoga, page 8. iBar. Wholeo blog 2012 but says spread out vertical. LookInOut 2013 Shift happens I go galactic movie. Here is the actual screenshot with words from the movie. Two thumbs around and up. Colors R Us y2k meditation. Arcturus could be link to the neck roll carolyoga with METs up the spine .}

Somehow we think in length, breadth, width. But it is in a more vertical concentrated or spiral circular form. We have to change our way of thinking.

It's time for me to prepare the sacrament. The sprouted wheat balls.

Aura over God-cell {Note, following is about stained glass design.} Also should note that aura could go over God-Cell in Wholeo - but white in center. White outside too. The recycled aura. And perhaps sandwiched with after images to show union in Wholeo. Maybe be pinwheel-shaped or meditation figure shaped. The moon Tweezle Wootz can figure in the SW front before the Moment of Death in arc. After Brain Cell but below arc. How indicate ultraviolet light? bulbs? or right glass and sun?

Aura in concentric circles or in straight vibes Aura may be concentric circles, with breaks and squiggles to suggest movement in and out. Of course it be be drawn in straight vibes.

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