Wholeo the Glass Dome: selected Journal entries

I just got Wholeo up and taped again here at Harmony. And realized that there is a reason for desiring a stained glass dome. I've asked why many times. Here's the beginning of the answer. We must become sensitive to wavelengths of varying lengths and intensities because that is how messages come to us from the stars, from outer space, from reality. It's not only the international language we've all wondered about, it's the interreality language. It's also the language our own head, mind, and being functions with, patiently translating the info gathered by our senses and symbolized verbally. Wavelengths is the direct language. We call them vibes. Are we developing organs for processing vibes?

The question that arises is 1, how do I get the other radiations, the wavelengths above and below our spectrum, into the dome? And 2, do the infrared, the ultra-violet play as big a part inside our body, as the spectrum wavelengths?

Earlier this month I got the feeling that Wholeo must be up before the conjunction of Saturn with Sun on the 15th or so. Also that since there will be a powerful radiation transmitted by Mars. Before the solstice, it would be very beneficial for anyone to spend some time in Wholeo during (the radiation) that time.

Woke up before midnight. Full moon near center of galaxy. Couldn't feel anything consciously. But got info that glass can't break electromagnetic waves into anything much more than spectrum. But something in human can. Maybe with pineal via eyes. Wavelengths admitted via eyes. Light waves go to brain for interpretation. A sample of the whole Kablunk goes to the pineal for processing. The more brain devoted to this interpretation, the higher more enlightened and knowing is the knowledge of the universe. Also this rain of impulses on the pineal is one of the main reasons for sleep. The pineal must contemplate, unbombarded, for awhile. Saw Jupiter and Mars. The planets are all our interpreters.

See A Spiritual Approach to Building, written on this day.

a.m. moved glass! I get the feeling there are very special strong vibes to this place. (The area around Monte Rio.) I don't know what that has to do with the creative and destructive human elements here. But I know its going to be "walking the razor's edge" for me. Keenly fascinating. Aside from a general stimulating tingle and active tweed of vibes, sometimes I feel a larger earth spot sort of twirling along a spiral around the earth like a sun spot or info path on the Smallest Unit of Life.

...

Have been considering procedure. Trim outside trees, put up fence. Plant along fence. Plant yard when rains start, to save water and make grow. Should start some seeds?

Put up WHOLEO on west of house. (I'm worried about topping trees - have been warned I can't do it myself). I'm worried about ladders, worried about Liz' worries --- so? Some do, some don't. By the time I get WHOLEO up, the summer people will have gone and me no know them. So next summer -- stoned. (is dome?).

I stood on head. When you pray to God, that is a special limited path. {this word is spelled paith. So is it path or faith?}

This image is through the brain cell.

I said "awareness, Funicula is here." I quested with most fervent feeling for paith in prayer. This appeared. See original sketches drawn on 9/27.

Then this variation

The energy of the double dorje opened up.

Dear Journal. I'm thinking this morning that its wrong to divide energies between me and Diana. She offered to put WHOLEO in her gallery. I immediately responded "NO- it has to go outside." But why didn't I give her more credit for having a good idea and say I would consider it? That would have been more diplomatic. Here WHOLEO is in the basement. It might as well be up being seen - might lead to money to put it up here. It would be interesting to see just what possibilities there are in the tonal for W. If I want to sell it, should show it. But I feel it would look so weak that no one could see it. I might becoming aware of a new possibility. I might need WHOLEO myself as a teacher and developer of me as teacher of spiritual? development. The other night when John & Dorothy so deeply affected. When I had intentionally acted as an artist in vibes. Also used my spiritual "pull" with Xanther to help others get on the path of awareness of their gool on the path.

GOOL is the name of my personal transaction garden outside my bedroom window.

Now do I want Wholeo to have the glass actually physically affected by the intentions, so that when it is sold, it continues to function with an energy transaction that it doesn't have now. It needs a whole aura created in light of the needs of those who enter there. So the setting has to be right. But the other way to look at that is that spiritual doesn't need a church.

I should consider well the advice of the old lady who planted the fruit trees around here. She cautioned against planting the trees because of the cold & dark. She thought I should keep it completely open.

The yoga vibes go on without any artworks physically manifested. But yet you have to be very well controlled & humble on the path with self quieted to be aware of the sphere of vibes. WHOLEO is for the lower ones.

What am I so worried about - I'm worried that my fence and plant hedge is incomplete, so WHOLEO seems so vulnerable. I'm afraid of teen age or thoughtless children vandals, or the neighborhood enemy deal. I'm worried about the old timer or festering enemy deal. Of course I'm on the powerless side in politics. So why should Anita court me? Wh...

So now I've decided to up the WHOLEO I guess I could cover it when gone or at night.

{Many pictures of dome with covers.}

I hope and pray that a miracle will occur. WHOLEO will be unmolested. I will sell her for lots of money so I can live decently. er {is that an "or"?} I will attract mutual energy so I can be happy. Please

please

help me

I'm so miserable

about what to do?

what do to?

to do what?

I don't seem to be able to talk to anyone -

All day I've had the image of a group of giants standing around my property holding hands in a circle - guardians. It really seems preposterous. I'm afraid my mind will lose its clarity and I'll start to confuse these figments of my imagination (or possible spirits or whatever they are) with ordinary reality. They broke the ring twice. Once when I was feeling warmly towards stained glass as something to do. I was entertaining the possibility of breaking my vow to do no more glass. The ring only resumed when I said O.K. O.K. I'll keep the vow. Also I feel they were chastising {can't read word and following journal is missing. I know I tried to draw this somewhere. Maybe kept journal with that?}

{Detailed description of sitting in Wholeo, seeing someone start to throw a rock, yelling at them. Then talking to the family on the street. Apparently that was effective.!?}

No date: WHOLEO puts sound together. It is beautiful for playing music in for singing. ... There is an air problem - the ventilation system suggested (tubes or pipes of air inlet at bottom), would also help cool it off - now its a sun sauna.

{Both 14 and 15 written on the back of a pretty well preserved invitation to the blessing on Sept. 26. So that was 27 years ago? Hmm, if get Wholeo up in 2004 will be 28 years. Or 4x7 year cycles.}

Maybe buy a cloth to cover rugs and pads

Om

God

O powers that be

Let this blessing show the spirit and let the spirit show us how to use Wholeo. How to be in it. And I pray if it is at all possible that this burden be lifted from me. If some person or group that has accumulated wealth or money or land or both could see the light to give it to me to build Wholeo on a building or hilltop so as to give Wholeo sky view open to the public. ...

{Continues on money request.}

What do I want from the water in Wholeo? I pray that the purpose of Wholeo be transmitted to the drinkers, or even flow into the atmosphere - proximity - So each person is helped to find his/her whole self and see the way and feel their interconnectedness. And so I must run my charge through each bottle with a round of alternate breathing.

I see this ceremony as the opposite of Easter. This is truly our earth time the nadir of our materiality. The fall fall and yet a time of great mirth, vigor, and work. Crux comes here. This is really when Jesus is here instead of us going to visit him.

{Note on 10/4/2003. There is no journal entry for this day. I'm adding memories that aren't recorded elsewhere in the journal. Blessing of Wholeo on Sunday. My sister came, and her ex-husband's relatives. Many people from Monte Rio came, including those I knew and others that saw the poster I distributed, with the picture by Chuck Henrikson. He came and took the wonderful pictures that he gave to me. He was a friend of Cindy Rosenblum, the landscape architect, who was there. The artist Partee was there. Mary Balzer, an editor from San Francisco who found Wholeo by accident was there. Leo, my son, was not there, but Elizabeth took part along with her friend, Kim.}

Dear Journal:

At about 7:20 in the morning a rainbow appeared. I keep getting the line: "God sent a rainbow". It made a perfect arch over Wholeo. It was veil of opalescent old morning fog and the predawn light here. But the ends of the rainbow dipped into pots o' gold sunshine melted in the green tree'd hills "afar" and "the Bank". I was awed that it was the covenant sent because of our blessing. My first thought on looking out the window was: a bitter, regretful or sad 'well here's our sun I wished for tomorrow'. Then I saw the left leg of the rainbow and ran for my camera, which I had made a great fuss about finding last night. Frustration! I know there's a lens that could've gotten the shot. But here I am unable to record it. Vacillation between photographing or just experiencing the meaning. Unable to resist recording. It was a strong bright complete double rainbow. Then it became stronger at the bases, as if poured or grounded near the earth. Then it rebrightened over all and made here and there 3 and once 4 and once even more repeats of rainbows in towards Wholeo.

Wholeo has been touched and bathed in true god rainbows. I'm still tingling with happiness. Yesterday morning as I was cutting the corn, I was surprised to find myself thinking how I had become so Christian. (Christ sign, is Chi Rho?) seems satisfying enough, kind of gathering the helpers and allies together and taking care of those things. So each of us really is freed by trusting. I bet that's what happened at Findhorn. Each of us can go directly to power and create, but we need a center to help balance it out amongst us. Christ is something that can be created (discovered as Bucky says).

Noon, Tues. Dear Journal:

I just went down in Wholeo. The sky is overcast, nearing rain. But Wholeo hits me with new beauty. It has a new smiley shininess, it has been renewed. It's much friendlier, warmer, juicier. It seems to feel like me after love-making, but more especially, good yoga-making. Somehow, it's less remote. It's more available, opened, more reaching out to interact in some way. I wonder anew about stained glass. It seems so good for churches. It seems so good for living with. What is it about the glass that makes its mellowing seem so spiritually alive. Its colors seem almost like an awareness that so fantastically relates to human consciousness. I always seek a common denominator. What is it that is the same in flowers, Drawings, and stained glass? What will I do next as an artist? It seems like reverent intentions are very important to WHOLEO's development.

I remember when Nina (Zimpel) said about the piece of glass she stored for me from 1968 to '72. when I incorporated it in WHOLEO. Nina said that her vibrations would always emanate from the glass because she had charged it by looking at it for 4 years. Then, when wondering what to do with the glass my neighbor gave me, I got the idea to crush and bury it because glass is a magnet. I made a glass magnet between arc and the Willow Street. {Was "arc" a name for Bump in frame form?}

At long last it has occurred to me that the blessing was very significant, in that WHOLEO has been used right, in one sense. I guess WHOLEO still awaits its own particular devotion. I have to work on that and develop that. Or is it up to each person to do their own?

Anyway, now I wish to record as well as I can the exact happenings of that day. Dionysos (Dennis Lucey or D. for short) planned to arrive 3 hours early and sit and become totally in Wholeo. Also he and I could have our own private session and then we would close Wholeo to access.

I had been practicing the black hole mentality that I learned from Rinpoche. How to turn down the flame of your spirit so low as to be almost indistinguishable. So inviting the greatest possible power from the void beyond the last qabala veils. It is like breathing out, in the cycle. To become so minimal that you draw forces toward you like a magnet. Allow the other to manifest. That was my effort Sunday morning.

When I called him at 9, he said he had been waylaid and the bread was baking. (Here put flashback and background on how D. was ordained and got the starter for the bread.) He got here after 11, with his story of how the car wouldn't start, how he chanted to it and prayed and then it started. He said "So something is really ... " I finished for him ... "you got help." We were impressed. Liz too.

I gave D. the Afghanistan wallet with the round stone in it. He was pleased and said he needed something like that to use in rituals.

As we were putting the garments out for people to see, laying out D.'s robes separately, getting flowers, sealing off Wholeo, etc., Chuck the photographer came. I hugged him which was strange.

I should have mentioned that the children were all very curious and wanted to be involved. even though they had been fighting earlier. They picked tomatoes, apples, and flowers. At 12 p.m. many people appeared. D. was amazed. I tried to get some involved in making a wreath. The day before I had found myself humming a chant: Who-leo, Whole-eo, wWho o o o o leo. So I may have danced around a bit humming that. It was to have been danced in spiral motions.

People began getting thick. I fully expected to wait until 1 because we had discussed how high noon is really 1 o'clock because of daylight savings time. Last blessing of the house, many people were as late as 1. But at 12:30 D. really wanted to start. He felt there were enough and they were getting restless. I looked at the grey sky and hoped it would become sunny. But D. went to put on his robes. Came out with a shake of the tambourine. Made a little statement about being at ease and doing the blessing themselves. Not stiff, move your body and do spontaneously what you feel like. He is not the only channel to the divine but each person is and each must participate.

We danced around Wholeo. He invited everyone to put on a robe before the street dance. So we went out to the street. He saluted the four directions with an invocation such as warming wisdom etc. Formed a circle holding hands, facing out. Sang "tau tau tau de tau in and about". Dancing around counter-clockwise, we experimented with different steps.

Dennis let go my hand and faced in, kissing one after another. So the line followed him, kissing around. I was the last and was very well exercised and even dizzy by the time the circle had turned inside out.

After the circle dance, D. asked me about why I made the dome. I said I used to make stained glass windows and I wanted to get into the window and have it all around me. How I wish I'd mentioned the need for a more direct language. Also I asked help in dispersing the clouds. Actually, Wholeo's colors are beautiful in overcast, you can see it better. The light is still colored, if subtly, but most important, it doesn't get too hot.

When we did OM in the street we did only one. Me disappointed. Can't remember what he said or how the transition formed but we were to go in the yard and form a circle around the dome. On the way I got the wreath which some of the women had made so beautifully. Solid magenta sweet peas with orange nasturtiums and blue bachelor's buttons and here and there a surprise. We presented this Lei to D. and blessed him for coming.

D. began working on his outside table lighting incense, taking some of the water I had prepared. He said we were to lend our souls to Wholeo for awhile as the stained glass we see is the body. We are cells of one body for the time of the blessing. Wholeo will then acquire its own aura, being stimulated by ours, and influence those coming into Wholeo's body from then on.

His statements were so economical that I wonder if anyone got the gist except me. I really adore the way he delivers. It's almost out of the side of his mouth and so understated that you almost think it was your thought. It's subliminal. Everything he does is the barest suggestion. He never overdoes it. But it is just the right thing, so complete in a way. He even gets into etymology and derivation of word meaning, without letting you think about it. Somehow he keeps you on a rapt acceptant level, where you don't discriminate or judge but you become willing and active, and acceptant of suggestion. (Maybe that's how I could interact with him, if I could figure out a few simple routines using the panels as mandalas.)

I'm not sure how effective it is with all people. I feel like I'm ready for it but I'm not sure what it is that's ready. According to Mary there were many self-conscious people there. But D. was very happy about it and felt we all got together at certain high points.

D. circled Wholeo with fire, which was his incense. He called it the warmth of the womb. (Was Wholeo going to be born?) Then he circled with the holy water dispensed with an Arbor Vitae twig or needles. Either we chanted or he did while he sprinkled us and Wholeo. He started and ended with me on each round, so I felt honored and got the alpha and omega energies. It must have contributed to my high happiness of the next few days.

The blessing book was supposed to be circulated. {This was a guest book, with spontaneous graphics by several visitors, that I still have in 2003.}

D. called on Liz was to cut the ribbon. {Note: that is not Elizabeth in the picture to the left. That is a visitor.} We danced around Wholeo, this time clockwise, singing something. During the fest, I felt enjoyment tempered with the concern of responsibility, trying to facilitate things. D. asked us to bring something into the dome to either grace it, or be blessed that we might partake of our combined efforts.

In came the corn and some things for the pot luck dinner. Somebody brought in a plate of cookies that children were grabbing during the blessing. It was nice inside the dome, there were a few appreciative murmurs. We had the card table altar set up in the middle, facing east. Or so that when D. used it, he faced east.

{At some point D. reached up towards the glass, saying he wanted to touch it. I gave him a lift, which got a happy laugh from the crowd. I'm not sure what point this happened.}

I squatted when in Wholeo, but everyone else stood. It was too crowded to see it. But it looked good. It was a very good place to be. So now I've lost the sequence.

We sang Happy Birthday to Gladys. I started explaining the images, which D. cut off. He felt they weren't successful in terms of group involvement or response. He also at one point got his massage oil and anointed everybody on third eye, between eyebrows. Or first the "corners" (laugh) of Wholeo. Later he said that actually it was the four directions he meant. We shouted hooray.

We sang lama lama lama lama as D. went to get the covered vessels. We did some shouts here and there. Maybe a loud scream as we went in. We blessed the sacraments. He exhorted us twice to flow our blessings and what did he call them? into the bread and wine.

The bread was about 5" in diameter, 3" high. It was supposed to be a dome shape, but had developed a very phallic looking protuberance. It may have been 4" - very small I would think, for all those people. We held them up. I the wine, twined my arm around his, holding the bread. It was the betrothal, the bride and groom were wedded.

I felt slightly compromised, not liking theatrics. Probably it was my latent desire to be married, stirred by the words. But I would be very happy to be totally related to D. spiritually. I'm sure we can accomplish much more that way. It's probably also my very ambiguous confused feelings about men. In a way I resent it that D. has to lead my shows. Why aren't there any women like him?

He broke the bread with a hefty crack. Broke it into a few pieces and declared there was plenty for everyone. He tasted some bread, took a sip of wine and said, "have some".

Everyone hesitated so I went and broke the bread down farther to help the bread and fishes miracle of there being enough. I didn't see if everyone got some. The bread tasted incredibly sour at first and then deliciously whole wheaty. He gave me a piece afterwards, that had been wiped in wine, to save. I didn't taste anything special at the time.

I don't think I was too super aware at this occasion. I'm not sure if it's because it's hard to let down barriers with a group, or if it's because the group was new to this. It might have been because it was too fast paced. I would have appreciated a chance to just be quiet, gather strength, relax, and tune into it. I spaced out (if that means not being fully with the actions). I never felt a climax and I can't remember the end. For me it was too short. He forgot the idea of bringing down from the level reached and stopped at, so as to feel more of a rush up. It was an unrelenting and increasingly spiritualized dissolving that wasn't resolved.

But that is only my fault because at the end he asked if anyone had anything to add. If I had had any wits about me, I could have acted out the god-cell arms and asked for a turning inward and all that. Just think. I've waited for a chance like that for several years and couldn't take advantage of it. That's quite a slip.

I remember setting up Easter rituals when Liz was a babe in '69 and starting Transparent Arts Sunday where we would get together with prisms etc. I just don't know how to do it.

We sang Kyrie Eleison (K.E.) after which D. asked prayers for things, such as for Caroling who made this beautiful dome. K.E. for the spirit of Wholeo, may it shine on. K.E. for the whole area of the Russian River. K.E. May the government adopt policies which are ecologically sound and may the world's bounty be more equally distributed amongst those of us in need. K.E. for those suffering, in prison, sick or dying, etc. K.E.

We drank the Wholeo blessing water last. I felt it was not indicated that drinking colors was healing. But people liked drinking it. We still have some to use.

{I lined up tables inside the house for the pot luck buffet. Someone knew how to bake the fresh corn, which was new to me. I became involved in the feed. Later I heard of some distressing things that went on in Wholeo, such as a couple making out, which discouraged others from entering. I didn't know. No one told me at the time.}

Here I must mention a slight case of resentment I experienced when I felt later that I did the bulk of the dirty work. I sent the announcements, made the physical setup, etc. all to the good. But the resentment came in when I had to facilitate the whole pot-luck, which had been his idea. Plus I had to clean it up. That won't be offered again. If I provide the dome I have rights. The preparation, putting on of dinner and cleanup has to be shared if it's his church that's doing it. {Note, in balance D had brought the costumes, performed the ceremony and traveled a long way to get there, all for free. I should and do feel quite blessed by his offerings.}

For the location, see the Wholeo dome in Monte Rio and the Wholeo Dome at the Farm School page.