Outer solstice portrait by Joan Vienot 12-21-2013

Caroling centering at Wild Heron Preserve Labyrinth 12/21/2013
Photo courtesy Joan Vienot of joanvienot.com

weB log 2014

About ~ 2011 ~ 2012 ~ 2013 New entries go on top but within an entry, dates are chronological. The next Wholeo new year restarts on the December solstice. Remember if something is undefined, it might have appeared on an earlier date. Read from bottom up. Or search the page.

Entries: December (2013) 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 30. January 01, 02, 09, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 28. February 01, 02, 03, 05, 06, 09, 14, 15, 20, 23, 25, 26. March 02, 03, 05, 08, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26. April 10, 12, 13, 16, 17, 20, 22, 26. May 05, 13, 15, 24, 28. June 10, 12, 19, 20, 21, 22, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. July 01, 02, 05, 06, 07, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 21, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30. August 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 12, 13, 18, 19, 20, 28, 30. September 01, 02, 03, 05, 06, 10, 12, 13, 14, 19, 20, 22, 24. October 03, 05, 07, 08, 09, 10, 17, 18, 19, 20, 24, 26, 27, 28, 29, 31. November 01, 04, 09, 11, 14, 15, 19, 23.

2014-11-23

Wholeo Dome Giveaway 2014, ends NY Eve is Facebook event. Rose Crockett Diamond of The Farm created two albums of photos of Wholeo Dome that I'm sharing on Facebook (11/19 photos and 11/21 photos) and G+ (11/19 photos and 11/21 photos). The Farm has covered and wrapped the dome in plastic to prevent lead contamination. Working on a movie of the Crystal Skull World Day vision.

2014-11-22

Sitting for Sunrise Meditation with ECMS I had a lot of interesting experiences. The first thing I was sitting in the big chair, the giant chair, the square chair. It kind of dissolved and became galactic star lights. There I was. I took on a crystal like six whole circles but like in planes, disks. At flower of life angles or like EIE. I guess there are no angles. And those had crystal aspects.

And then my spine, each ampluhedron started tuning into a different dimension or reality, some sort of whole. The spinal column of amps tilted forward, so I was like seeing it from top left big and going down towards bottom middle, right, smaller. So this was tilted toward me. Then I became sort of in the middle of this shaft. Later it became apparent that each amp had its own. I started realizing, understanding fractals. How each part of it was its own spine, turning to other spines and when you were at that level, that was the biggest. So wherever you are seems like the biggest. Then you feel like the smallest. And it is. There's no actual scale to this thing. It's just a matter of point of view.

When at the black hole level. We need to have a black hole to hold our galaxy together. From the start was exploring and communicating all over the galaxy. Hoping my unconscious would be storing all that happened and that I wasn't aware of. When at that level I really could travel to others.

Then there was the pain in my wrist, such a tiny thing. Started having these thoughts. Two kinds that were the biggest concerns for my little self here. Which were the dome and my condo bill. Some kind of financial thing. Then I realized what a small part of my being takes care of these things. This was our time for being whole. Released the thoughts.

It's not the search for the whole self. I am my whole self. I'm not searching. Even though the little creative self likes to shine a spotlight on different aspects of it. And indulge in knowing But I think, since awareness is at the start of everything, that we're prompted to do that. And that's our business.

Since my cellular level is actually more in contact galactically and multidimensionally, I asked my ego mind to help store and record, make memories or report on the adventures. It did not need to do daily business or sing at this time. So be useful.

I did conscious structuring. Could feel parts of my body being active in various ways. Engaged. Toward the end of meditation, could feel the spine up even more. Breathing in the whole experience to be more fully there.

Crystal skull of Geome Sat for Crystal Skull World Day global meditation at 12 noon CST. Geome crystal there too. Fantastic totally beautiful meditation vision. I give up. Visions are us. Visions Is me. My skull became crystal light. My whole skull ignited in crystalline light, which illuminated my whole being. And kind of went zap to galactic center seat and that lit up like little or massive geome skulls, zapping along the channels of the sunrise meditation until peace signs all over the galaxy and other dimensions and multi galaxies. It was like the whole, most holiest whole whole possible all exploding like fireworks. Not the guns but the light glee, the merriement, the awe of glow touching all.

2014-11-19

Five days ago I received news from The Farm that test results of a soil sample from the entryway to Wholeo Dome revealed elevated levels of lead, which is an environmental hazard. Since the dome is leaded glass, it must be removed from the school environment. I heard several solutions including taking down, storing, fencing off and covering it up. I have been going through stages of grief all at once vacillating between letting go, denial, understanding, and wishing I could help. I asked it they could document in photos and video how Wholeo Dome was used and ended.

In a way I'm VERY sorry but have to view it as a lovely dance. It is over and I have more dancing to do.

2014-11-15

Walk-thought: Being at center of galaxy. Taking my seat. I seem to now be getting a coating. Reminds me of Joseph's many colored coat (biblical). And I think of the colors in the black noise in my color graphic that shows the colors underneath it. This coating shows my current shape and allows me to see others that are at the center of the galaxy. I see kind of an octopus shape, but it's not. It's like the ghosts that we make for Halloween with a rounded head and then flares out from a gathered neck. That's trite.

Clothes would be the physical body. What would be the breathing body? Sage smudging. I have startled a deer that runs away. I say, "Slow down, I'm not going to hurt you. Isn't it nice to be out like this?" As I talk in loving tone, it stops to look at me, twice, and I feel like it responded to my tone. A lovely contact. The heart level would be grateful talking. What is the mindful part? The question remains. Lake is like galactic center.

Today ECMS is holding a Mindfulness Retreat. I am meditating with them remotely.

1. Right away was at galactic center as amp spine, that's who I am there and when we are there we are the same. Not seeing separateness.

2. Sleepy.

3. Wondrously centered in galactic spinal center, which was like sparkly evanescence in pearly white setting. It was not a fixed sculpture. In fact at times seemed like a music, or a conversation. It was structural in a sense of order and simultaneity, not in a sense of physical building. I'm reviewing my huge learning curves, especially the one when I went to the University, over sixty years ago. This seems like the same kind of thing. New place, new activities, new culture, new people, new opportunities, new views. Where everything seems better and more open, exciting and welcoming, like where I need to go to grow. There was a firm feeling of intention. A major part of the event was growing from earth year to galactic rotation and realizing everything is scalar and seemingly infinite. The actual only way to truly grasp it is the torus. Since every thing is toroidal, there is just one torus. That was the thing to be. Welcome each and every cell to be it. I guess the spine is torus core. Or torus axis.

4. the session was completely still. Featured the spinal center and the toroidal decenter. Or decentralized.

2014-11-14

On my walk I fell down and hurt my wrist. Wearing my arm in a sling, I went to see Rosewater, the only showing of Jon Stuart's movie and interview with Stephen Colbert. It was quite moving.

2014-11-11

Do as one, breathe as one, global meditation at 5:11AM and PM. https://www.facebook.com/events/715387398495066/

Meditated in the morning and again in the evening, starting at 5:11 p.m. I set the computer to the breathing room for Do as one. But I sat on the floor. A lot of thinking about the movie and journalists, Rosewater. Was going to quit after what seemed like the five minutes required for the global tune in. I had remembered to breathe as one. But noticed I was into the meditative happy state, where it is my favorite thing in all the world to do. So I did do some real meditation. Lot of thinking about torus, of my cell, cells, body, earth, galaxy. Or just the torus of all. Collapsing and expanding of conception of space and distinctions vs just being or just awareness of nothing. Thinking of my art work actually led to have to be galactically centered to make connection. As I approached, I found that there was a seat reserved for me. Humorous remembering the writer I worked with, whose boyfriend had died. She thought there was a restaurant near heaven to meet with loved ones. I have this mixed up with The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy or related book, where there is one at the end of space. Or the universe. Maybe that's how I interpreted her belief. I saw a bank of seats. But that gave way to a galactic aura sense, not really spatially or object-oriented. A sense of communion and belonging, a sense of connection, being honored and welcomed and feeling a sense of adventure that I'm able to participate in something new, special, wonderful and yet knowing there is a responsibility. My body is in that blissful orgasmic plasma melted state where I feel a couple of inches up off the seat.

2014-11-09

Trip to old growth longleaf pine forest at the Big Woods site near Thomasville, GA. My photos, with links to Susan Petro's and video clip are on Google+ in the album, Old Growth Longleaf Pine Forest in Georgia. Journal entry:

Hugging tree vision of green core of growth force, rushingMy hugging tree. I finally got it, that there was time to hug a tree in this deeply compelling place. I headed for a tree friend and leaned in, embracing it. Closed eyes and had an intense focusing vision. It was like a jacquard pattern of green diamond, rounded diamond shapes. Sort of, meaning that they were together like leaves of a plant, not like a flat pattern. This was in the center. To the edges were blurred meadowy colors radiating as if the green knot were zooming through space and time, back down into the green core of growth force. In this blurry rush were occasional flashes of golden greens, brighter streaks as if accelerations or accelerants. This rushing was not something that had a beginning or end. No destination or story line. State of life.

I opened my eyes and saw an unobtrusive vine, small leaves spaced bright green against the burn-darkened bark. It seemed to speak of the memory of that awe-inspiring power. Green power is what it was. When I looked up the word “jacquard” I found out it meant a raised pattern weave. To me, it had meant diamond-shaped. But a certain image triggered the resemblance to my vision. Which was really the structure of brain cell matrix. {More on this next week.}

2014-11-04

blue pool on trail from Scenic 30A, November, 2014Looking at the blue pool. Thinking of putting that in my head. Then showing the reflection of the trip to the galactic center and then zooming to center there. In a painting this would be hard because of the scale. But in a movie, if I start with my new moon face and then transparentize that to the landscape. Then show the galaxy is a reflection. I'm seeing original pool rim and green grass as original Wholeo symbol. Not seeing how that shifts.

One idea is that I start out lying down, but I sit up for the shift and Wholeo symbol turns with me. That has implications that I could stand up for tripping out to galactic center. And dance to the music of the universe. I could do this as a special carolyoga start for world spirit day event and my 80th birthday on the new moon and Outer solstice of December 21. {Now with its own page.}

2014-11-01

Wonderful trip to Wakulla Springs, FL. So many of Jim Peterson's remarks keep surfacing. There will be a website link for it when WFSU TV finishes a movie about it. See the event description. These segments will air in January on the Dimensions program. My photos are on Facebook in the Wakulla Springs Overland Tour album.

2014-10-31

Found clippings announcing and reviewing my 1961 show at Walker Art Center and made a web page for them. Found incredible links. WAC is Walker with a fascinating movie. John K. Sherman wrote an article in 1933 descrying "Minnesota Nice", making me doubly happy at his positive review of my work: http://blogs.citypages.com/gimmenoise/2013/01/minnesota_nice_music_criticism_1933.php. Online, found the entire 1954 Minnesota Gopher that I designed as Assistant Editor.

2014-10-30

Found this Universal Pattern Torus and posted to Wholeo Facebook and Pinterest pages, saying, "You are here, seems so clear, can it possibly be this beautifully simple?"

2014-10-29

Strange, this journal encounter for me seems to evoke perfection of vibrations. Like Harmony poetry. Mel being the name of my sister, my ex-husband, my stained glass studio person, being meaning honey. The quotes of mindfulness that ricochet through Facebook and ECMS all makes me feel so circular, so toroidal.

2014-10-28

Reading journal from 74, realize there is always something difficult to handle about life. Always some way I'm feeling inadequate. Always some way I'm wishing the problem were over.

2014-10-27

Exciting contact with Thomas Mahar about the threatened deer lichen: http://www.academia.edu/494861/Potential_Historic_Distribution_of_Cladonia_Perforata_in_Escambia_County_Florida_-_to_include_Santa_Rosa_Okaloosa_and_Walton_Counties

2014-10-26

Thoughts about blue energy, should be my continuing and always focus. When greeted my bank of deer lichen like old friends, brought galactic energy, that energizes them, uplifting and channeling. The impact of this networking and communication is unknown. But it feels right, like what I'm supposed to do.

Do as One is asking us to offer our visions of the world as one for the 11/11 meditation. This seems like a limited goal to me, my interests assume that. Even though it hasn't happened yet. If ever. It must be that we need or are interested in goals of the whole, way beyond earth, and to envision (different from visualize) that maybe is the reason for getting together on earth. If earth is all there is, we'll continue to fight for it.

Went to the Audubon Shorebird volunteers get together and met Amy Raybuck of the FWC who has money for the signage I was working on for Deer Lake SP in WaterSound beach access. She connected me with Kim Middlebrook to do surveys on the beach as a volunteer. {I did the WaterSound two-mile segment east of Camp Creek lake inoutfall on 11/3. We saw six banded snowy plovers and one without a band.}

2014-10-24

Working on my 1970's journal.

Shaky ground here. One minute I'm loving my journal but most of the time just finding it flimsy.

Monarch butterflies are here during their annual migration south along the coast of the Gulf of Mexico.

2014-10-20

I'm getting like I got in art school. What I capture on film is as unlike my experience of nature as what I used to paint from nature. It just does not equal or convey the ecstatic nature of my experiences of nature. I would have to be a whole lot more creative. An idea comes to mind of a head that is the inside of my head with the thoughts flurried by the breathing etc. Then open eyes in the view for flash hits of the changes out there. I think what is getting old about me is I imagine something and before I can even start it, I feel weary, like knowing how much work and time it will probably take. At the same time deciding this is not where I want to put my energy. It is beginning to look like I've just given up, since I'm not going forward with anything. Also I'm afraid that my wondering if it is worth it .. have lost train of thought. Yikes.

2014-10-19

Back to Nature Festival sunrise meditation on the beach in Topsail Hill Preserve State Park. I did have visions, mainly of torus breathing in both ways to center from up and down. Breathing out both ways from center to up and down. Got that sense of not being subject to wind, being dematerialized although not really separate from my body. Feeling all the intensity of an Anime All. Enjoyed the utter beauty of the place. Ah yes, amps up the spine, flowing, and connecting with allspace amps. Each amp is not a separate structure, not like a bone in a spine. Is a gesture, a defining moment. Each defining moment in touch with all others, no discontinuity.

2014-10-18

Wondering who I am now, what my real purpose is. Photos seem “out there”. Journal seems past. What's me and my future? Feeling like I'm breathing colored light vibrations with my whole body. Say I was like a bouquet of floating outlined daisy flowers, which was my skin, but opened up so rays escaped from moving centers within. And rays entered from all angles. Breathing blueness. Really beyond blueness, the more scattered, short wavelengths possible for multi-D communication.

To paraphrase the Beatles' song:

The fool on the beach
Sees the sun coming up,
And the eyes in her head,
See the world spinning us.

2014-10-17

My main problem last night at ECMS was that I realized that new hearing aids will not solve my problem. I cannot hear well in a group, no matter what. But I had some quite vivid experiences during meditation. Felt caved in on right just as often as on left. Felt the torus of the group energy. Strongest energy was in the center of the torus. Felt that contact in spine toruses.

2014-10-10

Coffee haiku

afternoon coffee
taken for evening sitting
opens up the night

Video on DLSP nature path where I try to document all the parameters of communing with deer lichen. To summarize, they are Rx and Tx, receiving and transmitting, blue light of meditation, branching, scale (near and far, big and small, interdimensional), light and photosynthesis, carrier, spiral up and down, sound loud or soft, velocity faster or slower, measurement, intervals, directions in/out or right/left.

2014-10-09

"Imagine there's no heaven", sang John Lennon. Would be harder for me to imagine there is one, but I realize how hard it is for millions brought up in the belief. Went to the Magnolia Zen Center in Mary Ester. I loved the meditations although I don't know when to bow. Experienced extreme well-being and encouragement to exude that as blessings to world. Saw blue light. Had some wander thoughts but mostly OK. For awhile felt there was a black hole point that we all were projections of. At first had clear memory of the swat/chop I had felt at Zen Center on Fillmore in SF in 1957? or 67? when first sat. Bringing attention here. Honoring that gift.

2014-10-08

Tracking the eclipse of the moon, walking down the beach in the dark was wonderful. Nancy and I sat watching until the red eclipsed moon vanished in fog, then turned around to face the sun, that didn't appear until it rose over the fog after sunrise. A heron came quite close to Nancy and I got video. Later posted to web (see Facebook and for more choices Deer Lake Lunar Eclipse Over the Gulf and Sunrise over InOutfall).

Then Nancy rang the bell. I was into giant torus and some movie thoughts when a training came from Nancy about breathing from the hara. Profound sense of meditation not ranked in quality. It is other things that seem relative, such as bats, fish, splashes, light perception, whether thumbs are almost touching, whether stray thoughts are entertained or not. Meditation is just nothing. Blue light intensity feeding my cells, every part of me exposed, indulged, saturated, sated. Felt that meditation was just pure consciousness. Not of anything. Experience great lightness. Not spheres, altho perhaps center locality was a point. First to right and above. Then left and for awhile all around in me. Thought that must have hara circles like I have above. In my movie. Each crystal grain of sand, all the people, beings, everything is being and dependent on “this” for inner nourishment. Had a fleeting thought that it would be OK to die now. This is it. Followed by thought of loving to try to express what is around it.

http://www.rwgrayprojects.com/Lynn/NCH/whatpoly.html Fig. 4.8 shows the five cubes of expanding consciousness from the guy who presented Synergetics to the web. The rotated cubes can be directly expanded into the EIEnor.

Amazing how many people think it is real that people live after death like they are here on earth and that they are happy. They use these beliefs in phrases to a person grieving loss, as if the thought would be comforting.

2014-10-07

Thinking simultaneously of whether it is important to keep the Wholeo symbol in movies, training people to recognize it. Also that my next project should be to sort my file cabinet of hand-written journal and enter what's important from it. It covers from mid-70s to mid-80s when I started writing on a computer. That could be publishing forever and help with roots of yoga.

Also thinking of Jim Rosenquist and how different our art is. In fact the whole POP art generation that was the milieu I did not find myself akin to. Why was Jim drawn to ordinary and found objects for his poetry? And I am not? Seems when you look at your mind as array of outside stuff is different from looking at it as inside stuff. This is deep inquiry and maybe wrong from the start.

Mind is wild this morning. Wondering if Alzheimer's and dementia is due to evolutionary influences, urges, mind expansion. Like we are becoming more actively visionary and the fittest solutions to keeping sane while expanding mind will survive. Seeing how a lizard or frog discovered advantage in leaps and many frogs who tried it, didn't combine that with calculating where they would land. They just leaped out and fell to death or accident, so the ones that combined talents of wild leap with grounded target survived. Just like I've given myself permission to have leaping mind but keeping grounded is key.

Also thinking that growing old without giving decision making to the doctors is a like a game. Each symptom makes me wonder, is this it? It would be the thing the body can't handle. It will meet that. It will fail eventually. What will it be? Could it be that I choose that? I know several things in my past that make me weak. Like smoking and not enough water or sleep. Probably things in my diet and ideas about health that were wrong. Tensions I don't know that I have.

Then in kitchen had a tremendous feeling that I have finally found my Wholeo self. Wholeo is the search for the whole self. I've changed it sometimes, or acknowledged it as being the Whole Self. But I don't think I've ever had this sort of on point, knowing when I'm being the great balancer, the mediator, the decider in charge. This self has to be delegated by the ego and all the rest of the personality stake holders. Consciousness and unconsciousness. It is more letting the self be whole, letting go, allowing the shamanic doer queen to rule. Or rather fully function. And the more it functions, the better. A key discovered today is Hark. Whenever we get too much of anything at all, a hark is required. It is the grounding of the whole self. Focus of the whole self.

2014-10-05

Seeing the possibility of a sequence in the yoga. Shoulder stand could be channeling energy through feet as upended grounders; energy flow through body, I think down. Then the arc and the backbend inviting the structures. Then the leg movements further channeling what went on with the shoulder stand. Leading to the spinal twists beginning the Rx and Tx antenna action of spine. I have the feeling like I had with Bump. Attracted to it in a book, make it, live in it, only later and forever after find meanings in it. Same here, assembling this yoga for 40 years, then continually seeing more meanings and reasons why.

Reading 10/19/2013 the backbend could go via Wholeo symbol to the double-bubble galaxy above and below. Yes. Looking at the Wholeo symbol over spine upright, seeing it multiply to each side of center. Each one comes apart in arcs, becoming like audio or radar or amplifying transmissions.

2014-10-03

To be able to block unwanted calls on iPhone, I had to update to iOS 7.1.2. I'm back to carolyoga movie making.

In carolyoga take each between or in a pose to get more deeply into it, move to the core muscles, joints and tendons involved, letting go of any opposed or unnecessary effort, tension, involvement. From the outside, nothing appears to move except to express it more authentically. Progressively, within, you move more and more into meditation, where your body enjoys the benefit of the stretch, strain lessens, you progress to unposed state of equilibrium. Transparentized, so synchronized there isn't a ripple of distinction.

Between and in a carolyoga pose, letting go of extraneous effort, the pose holds itself.

2014-09-24

Finished the Leo Geary USA Bike trip photo album on Google +. Also started working on the endangered deer lichen page. Learned from my sister that the recent hurricane in Baja California caused her to lose her boat. She didn't explain the loss, but said she is now going to travel by bus to some other part of Mexico where she has more friends. I'm stunned since this was a replacement boat for loss of her first.

2014-09-22

Doing equinox meditation 12 hours before the time, floating in anchored kayak on Eastern Lake. I saw the amps exuding the radiations and the moons extended out and ringed around earth. Then saw Wholeo symbol turn and then vertical radiations. Can't remember transition but some how an amp tuning into its array, kind of like tip of iceberg where the rest is gradually disappearing in the mist or fog or just opacity. Seemed to be tuning into Nassim Haramein's 64 tet array and evolved into the flower of life pattern.

2014-09-20

At the start I saw amps up the spine. Saw them active. Was it the backbend arcs up up. And back in, in. And then saw the resolution of the Wholeo symbol shift. Backbend Wholeo I had been the receiver. Shift Wholeo I am a sender too. See the sides of the circle. I guess I should use a drawing program. Did a simple circle to shift Wholeo transformation drawing showing how the sending radiant arcs proceed. Feeling the steel ball centers at my spine and the active structures and the moons extending left and right. Really it looks like one of those portable antennas. At GC the radiations got so complex that it resembled I transform light, so I had to think Hark (as in I Am Light). To prevent dissolution.

Amp sources collected. 9-19-2013 discovered the amplituhedron. 10-1-2103 made of 4 tets, fit on Peru/FL breathing map? 10-17-2013 incomplete 10-18-2013 staying as framework even tho it is basically a gesture 10-19-2013 blue, crawly amps up spine, neck, suffusing brain. 10-26-2013 moons will be randomly accessing certain amps, that are amplifying too. 10-27-2013 spine grasping steel balls, one to each amp 10-30-2013 idea of moon calendar on it. White zig-zag exuding, will be like an atom or planet, cosmic. To accrete and develop things in orbit around them. Like wings.

2014-09-19

Just had an insight solving the rotated Wholeo symbol. The back bend is one of those ultimate horizontal Wholeo symbols. But the spine erect can be the vertical Wholeo. I can see a backbend from the side dissolving into vertical spine from the back.

2014-09-14

It dawned on me at dawn that the musical score mentioned yesterday is very much like Liquid Starlight of the Mind, which is like the billboard on the Lower East Side painting. At the time, 1962, I identified the image as sound, breaking the sound barrier and the constant noise of the city. When starlight appeared in Wholeo dome, I don't remember connecting it with sound. It was cosmic connection. Now it is a sound notation and multiverse, multidimensional carolyoga. It's a lot about vibration and our liquid state and channels. This morning on walk, seeing it in the railings of the bridge and the telephone wires.

2014-09-13

Thinking about the white light. In aura. Do I just want to encase it around myself? I know that's not shutting myself off from the spiritual, but it is making a filter. So I was thinking more like tuning in. It seemed like musical scores.

Tuning into all the white light that's there. Not just around me. Just sort of being more transparent and then exciting that and more of the surrounding, making that the most important vibe around.

How does that integrate into my yoga? I really want to do this and use all my journal online. I need to redo it with .png graphics instead of .gifs. Then I could export the drawings as vector which they are and they would be scalable and wouldn't be so jaggy. OMG the waves. I was thinking I could photograph the beginning of my yoga routine, where I do the circle up above. That would be the white light and then tuning into all the white light and that would be the galaxy and local splitting apart as I do the … I could do a new color healing to use. {See the movie finished on 10-17. It uses moonlight, not this vision.}

I got the feeling that these musical scores kind of opened me up and I was putting them on the grid of the galaxy, the dodecahedral grid. As we're doing that, we're creating our life path. Like we think we're going to find it, but by putting our consciousness out there, we're building the conditions. I'm sure there are conditions out there, but we're conditioning it. We never know how much our consciousness creates and how much we just discover. Ah that's where I differ from Fuller, he always thinks we're discovering, because it's already there. You could, you are discovering your own consciousness, so you are discovering what you can do. So in a sense there is no difference between creating and discovering. It is just two sides of the same thing.

2014-09-12

Big psychic experience was seeing a man by the ramp when I had turned around at WaterSound. Thought of my camera cord and bandanna that could be used to harm me, easily. Not picturing that. Thought about white light, being, exuding white light and it felt blindingly bright. I saw the man had turned around, walking just as fast as I was, back west. The way to be, radiating the blue at extent of aura, always traveling out. Saw a couple of dolphins threading along going east. Then when sunlight was finally hitting the surf, some video of foam patterns. Seeing possible tiny EIEnors exuding in blue vibes at extent of aura.

I want to base my movie on a remembered picture. Pretty sure it was done in FrameMaker. Maybe it was Cave of Brahma, not pineal. Following is from 2013-04--09 journal and is in the web log.

All of a sudden, when almost all the way back, I got a beam source in my upper head. Definitely a point of light. I am a galactic beam source, radiator. The yoga practice of noticing and letting go anything not essential to the pose, ending in allowing the pose to be, feeling no rigidity or forcing, completely relaxed. That feeling is so wonderful, seems like levitation. Floating. As far as the light goes, it is distributed and beams out when there is no willful obstruction. The process sometimes feels like crumbling, sometimes like melting. Or opening. And the point is not in Cave of Brahma or pineal or pituitary or crown. Maybe something like an eruption from soft spot on top of head. It had felt in head, maybe an inch below skull. But when focusing attention on it, seems to kind of small knob rising up above maybe an inch.

prune pit raisin drop healing of 4/22/1994The drawing I seek is not on a webpage. I would have to search my entire journal. Seems like too much. Then I thought of looking at the drawings in Adobe Bridge, which is fantastic. Since the drawings are named for the journal, I can look them up in time. I found it. Over 20 years old, from April, 1994. It is called "Prune pit raisin drop healing". Shown at the right

New prune pit raisin drop healingInteresting that now I was visualize much more space around the inner drop. Is that the prune pit? Was thinking of it as a sesame seed. Redid the drawing, shown at the left.

2014-09-10

I must say something about allspace that I do in carolyoga color healing. A search for "allspace site:rwgrayprojects.com" yields 180 results in Synergetics. Wow, "Allspace Filling" is a heading in Synergetics. http://www.rwgrayprojects.com/synergetics/s07/p6400.html#780.10 is mind-allspacing out. What reading Fuller does to me is complicated. One, I start thinking much more. My imagination is inspired to think from many points of view and question everything. I can not follow his invented word lattice but it helps reduce my assumptions. His thinking has been an immense influence on me and this art. When I saw the heading “galactic orientation” I got pumped and primed for something helpful but became again spaced out and wondering. Not focused and on a path. Which is what I do to make this conceptual artwork at this time in this place. Is Fuller's wordiness his way of saying be here now? Now is the time aspect. Here is the space aspect. And be is the allspace-filling aspect.
2014-09-06

Videoing Gulf surf, trying to capture the texture, movement and shape of the blue glows that I saw in ECMS meditation. It is the foam swimming on the surface after wave crash.

GalacticBlueLightWaterMagical healing. The first thing that hit me was the blue Twistor. I was captivated, astounded, wowed, drawn in, might I say enlightened. Then the magenta Channel set off blue glow. The blacks were alive velvety noint jointy. The yellows had their own buoyance. The space popped out, became 3D. The runes manifest, evolutionary gateway, dropup, and harvest are there in GalacticBlueLightWater. On TV I'm watching the movie Water World. Then other things happened. They (CLBs) asked about the movement of my legs, when knees bent stretching stomach muscles. I said it was analog. And we have no concept of that. Each step discrete. But how does analog work? It is a recalculating every instant and we are in touch with the next step in space and time so we always have enough data. So smooth that there is no gap. Also I feel this wholeness, that the problem with the little sayings is that they are partial. Problem with medicines is that they destroy the balance so when out of kilter, the story can not complete and the health suffers.

2014-09-05

Last night at ECMS meditation I saw blue light. Not the pale blue but the intense ultraviolet blue.

2014-09-03

On my mind. I can't do this movie without telling that my color healing program is in the form of an expanded unit of consciousness that randomly colors the nodes to create a healing. The 12 pentagons are spirits of consciousness that I address through the nodes.

2014-09-02

This is a color healing. This is caroling doing color healing in carolyoga. Each of 14 nodes has the name of a spiritual character. The story is that each node comes in and I turn it around. Then I expand each node to allspace. It goes out. I must have thought allspace was a word, but google can't find anything, that is any instance of the word used as such. Allspace is used in geometry.

In expanding to allspace it has to fling off blue vibes. I was thinking the initial color healing should have a blue border. No. But how can I show one around the expanding out form? Does it come out of the computer or out of me?

2014-09-01

Thinking about my direction-challenged artwork. One thing that moves me intensely is sending blue vibes out when I expand each node to allspace. The pressure out, sends the blues out beyond my allspace. It always feels so effective. Maybe I should do a healing for today and see if it gives me guidance on this.

Walked the ramp up from the beach for the sunrise and because there were no bugs and there was wind. Nice place to be. Found the deer lichen and took a picture of one round mound differentiated from the mass. Looking at it now, feel like posting to Facebook because it seems to be growing in me. In looking at it I feel transforming.

I feel an intensity and seriousness of purpose as if something deep was in process. I do not feel out of sorts. I feel occupied. Not invaded, should say pre-occupied. Feeling those xtals in feet soles. A thunk on the window and I look around to see what it was. Such a large dragonfly, the noise almost like a bird. It fluttered back and flapped wings and now is lying still on its back under the railing. Was going to take a photo, looked at computer. When looked back at deck, dragonfly was gone.

I did the healing called GalacticExpandingBlueVibesCarolyoga. And it is. I was marveling at the galactic blues of Twistor and Omlulu prototet triangles in the earth aqua surround. Also pleased with the joy expansion of pair of joy runes opposite each other on the earth life path and the runes between on an evolutionary direction. Spine, feminine ray, evolutionary child, priest. Then noticed a rune on top of another, might be covering a runesign. Click and it was the point. Which is not what I expected. That is, that would feel more like a contraction or a target or that the path was coming down instead of going/reading up. Point priest Ben Omlulu spine. Seeing the pattern that way reminds me of the swan star constellation with Deneb as the head. Is it significant (yes, dearie, everything is significant) that I can't remember the name of the constellation, ah here it is, Cygnus. Hmm, like the dragonfly too.

Had a comprehensive vision of how CLBs see I could expand our play or fun or mission or whatever journey we seem to be on together.

I could have an actual projector in the shape of EIEnor that is programmable and would flash the colors around the room. Maybe my movie can put out these ideas rather than me doing it. Design for color healing light. Perhaps the important part of this is to encourage telepathic interaction. I could use my model as the prototype in the movie and show different color healing results.

should focus on the original core intent, which was the yoga neck ring colors and then the yoga expansion of colors and blue vibes. So one part of this is the computer animation and the other part is the yoga pose movie. did a video of color healing yoga.

2014-08-30

I feel kind of like at the edge of the old and facing an open future. Pretty much done with Leo's USA bike trip. Enso's are so non-linear. In a way I feel like a vacuum, like my atmosphere has been exhausted and I'm also like a lake bed, where the springs are not flowing and given that I'm the lowest point, something is likely or could flow in. Or seep in. Or be in and I don't speak the language or recognize the features. Thinking that, suddenly I feel tiny points or parts all over and in my whole body kind of reach out, as if to hug the void.

So far, looking at galactic whole 2014, I like new moon after inner solstice the best. Starting to remember that the next step is here and there in the same picture. Not going anywhere, not separate in time.

2014-08-28

With Sheewho, we had a wonderful art time, lunch. She liked learning about ensos and ink painting but we took off into art.

2014-08-20

Last night on PBS there was a program about finding bison bones. Bones of Badger Hole. http://video.pbs.org/video/2365254939/ They pieced together a buffalo skull that had a red zigzag painted on it. I had seen that before on one of Leo's photos. I remember a whole thing about it. Must look in journal. In fact when couldn't sleep last night I looked up zigzag and could not find it. But I did find Leo's poster, that has hung on my wall forever. And it definitely has it. To me astounding because of the death vision of the buffalo. Or should call it bison. What is the connection? See web page: Leo Geary and the Bison Skull.

I have to say that what is going on inside me and even on galactic scale is more important than my friends and my publishing day and even what i'm trying to do with my images. It seems like some hologram or hologramistic process of documentation has been initiated. It is all there but trying to present hi resolution imaging. The feeling reminds me of computer images that are trying to present hi-res but only gradually coming into focus. Seems like this is going on inside me for all my cells and all my lifelong history. All my interactions with Leo. All my travels. All time back for 10,500 years. All space to our galactic center. I have to say this feels like the peak of my life. Trying to get bearings.

2014-08-19

Was trying to recreate what I did yesterday but got mostly chaos. That is, I would picture a certain galactic-related image or act that I had done before, and it wouldn't stick. It didn't last. I couldn't maintain it and it didn't seem interactive. Only one image lasted and I'm actually feeling it might be established. Like I visit in imagination and can still see it working. That could be that I like that image or it was different and memorable. I can't say for sure that I feel it has much, if any, reality. Except when I wrote that, I could see kind of going to the root of the right side of a Wholeo dish, where it is rounding to the point.

The dish is made of white vibes, shaped and arrayed like the blue Galactic Beam Being (GBB). Tiny, at angles, like it isn't a flat smooth surface but made of tipped vibes so has a texture. The basic vision is like a flock, the Wholeo dishes wavering and flying around. Saw it in old horizontal position and then flock flying around, rearranging into the vertical position. The edges, or outer portions are the least conforming to hemisphere and can flare out, like the bowl I have.

Maybe the big picture here is that the GBB has Wholeoed. Or at least able to Wholeo rather that stick to torus. And it can flash blue but seems to have substrate of white.

Now to review the brief attempts. At one point saw an iridescent egg. Tried the eyebings that marched to GC last year, last fall. Tried to remember the drops, oh I think that came before the egg. Tried to remember what I had felt previously when saying that I went to the beacon. Even thinking it might have a mushroom, or stake, or fire hydrant like of shape. {That could be pineal.}

Another image was of the multiD galaxy, zeroing it in a different way. This isn't clear now but I think the struts of the dodecahedron stopped moving and all the variations came to one something, not a shape that I can see, but they aligned in some way. So could I say that the exterior aligned rather than the center aligned? Previously I aligned the galactic centers, and the framework was static. Am I seeing that the view of an object in a framework is still an old-fashioned ego-based vision? True zeroing is comprehending, comprehensive. It is not feeling separate. It can be done.

2014-08-18

Hanging out at the center of the galaxy. Beacon. GCB (Galactic Center Beacon). I sort of open myself. And the communication is like dot dot dot polka dots at first. Then I see they are spreading out. Like I was a pool of water. Sort of radiating out in rings, all over me. I guess I'm spreading these out here at the same time as being there. Or taking it in. .. Connecting to … beacon down here.

… the picture … I was seeing myself in a totally ...I'm just a bag of water. In and out. I zeroed down to a few of them . I see them coming. Like they splat and they ring out and they also ring in or above and below so next one goes two dish Wholeo. Then I saw I could do a graphic of a figure. Just have it overlapping. Have the center of the galaxy and then at the exact same time in the same picture I could do it as a movie so I could see different aspects and zero in on them.

2014-08-13

How about the scale factor. The smaller I go the larger I am. The farther out I go, the smaller awareness blooms.

Interesting Facebook torus picture saying there are two directions in the universe: in and out. This visionary echoes what I dreamed in 1980. I called it a Major Event of Transformation. Compare Nassim to MET: http://wholeo.net/Trips/Imagine/Evolution/transform/MET/met.htm. Would it be cheating, yes it would be, but OK for art to have my getting small in earth have an enso turn it around inside out to galaxy. In other words, is the torus never finished? Like an enso?

2014-08-12

Saw the wonderful Florida Wildlife Corridor movie. Met Elam Stoltzfus, the filmmaker and his son Nic Stoltzfus. I will connect with them when the expedition explores the northwestern end of the corridor along the Florida National Scenic Trail.

There are too many journal entries to complete for this period. Hope to catch up later.

2014-08-09

Saw a snowy plover looking at me. I'm far enough inland that I can arc farther inland and hope not to bother it. It stands there looking at me walking. I gather all my oomph to think telepathically, "It's OK, I'm not going to hurt you, be happy, I'm on my way". I'm thinking I have all the force from the center of the galaxy to influence that message. The minute I thought that, I realized that the plover has galactic consciousness. It has not separated itself out. (I think I was saying that the animals are telepathic, they are there, they do this.}

Then one of those gestalts that can never manifest. That animals are the evolved ones to evolve consciousness. They can live on earth without damaging it and changing it. Don't have these requirements of housing and TV, energy and communication. They are the ones that are adapted. We are the ones who are going to die out. We are disconnected. Instead of projecting my image of protector of wisdom, maybe I can learn to live like these animals.

2014-08-08

Enso zeroes mind's thousand directions could end up with xtal centered in earth. By xtal, I mean a psychic crystal. Often I think of Geome as xtal. The Wholeo shaman seed logo has xtal at center. Could build the octahedron and rainbow around that. End up with xtals in feet.

To do: reveal earth xtal core in movie in Premiere Pro and make an enso du jour in Photoshop.

Pondering my problem with registering for Chopra's event. Then realizing it is an online event, which seems contradictory to my concept of meditation. Well I go watch the sunrise. Why not stream Chopra online? So I guess with my differing, I'm not really globally meditating as required by his setup. I'm dismayed that Unify seems to have been bought out by this incorporation, that I see as a business, capitalizing on Unify. All my problem areas I can see from both or many sides and still have chosen to stick with mine. Later realized that many people enjoyed and got a lot out of the online program.

8:30. Better get yoga done. Wishing I had a yoga movie to do. Maybe that's what I should create today. A 30 minute yoga meditation movie.

Meditated with Unify at 11 CDT in kayak anchored on Eastern Lake. After meditation I floated, saying I've wanted to do this all my life. Posted a two-minute video of what I said after it to Facebook and YouTube.

I had the feeling that the ends of those axes or radiating lines in my graphic are points of the noosphere. Chopra with his simple explanations and celebrity status and friend of Michael Jackson and book writer and all this kind of stuff has enabled people to meditate. I could feel the little ticks of consciousness just moving out along those spokes. Like kind of lighting up. {Note: Unify.org has gotten dominated by Chopra, but as of August 13, the Facebook page still seems clear. It is updated for the next meditation, however. }

2014-08-07

Awake in the night, had transcendent experiences. Partly feeling body was just tired of not moving. Did some trampoline but balance wasn't very good. Did some stretching sitting on bed. Massaged legs. About half the time was in the state I often get when meditating, where body is not something I am, that is, I feel levitated. No, not separated. It is just that there is no muscle action, completely relaxed or at rest. Or balanced. Hard to describe.

Felt something about Mel was encouraging me to evolve. Not a spirit that lives after death. Maybe something he evolved into. Or thought patterns of his. But still did feel kind of personal. Like we did some good things together in our lives and this is another collaboration. Did have a structural aspect. For awhile seemed like 3D version of that weaving I got, the horizontal and vertical loosely overlapped rough black lines.

Talks of enso zeroes. Thought that each week I could do another verse, until I get a whole movie. But this one could clean up the directions from last week. Zero the peaceful place, the galaxies, and the rainbow bridge footsteps. Next would be different directions, peace, bigness, and smallness. Or different blessing.

With each step, center the galaxy. With each step, center me.

Relaxed and building something like the cocoon or Lexi in Falling Skies. But not in our space and not of our stuff. It seems like we're really evolving new structures.

For global meditators, I could use that brush print I have and put the globe in there. The rays would be the meditators. Rotate it around so there's as many as could be (that is, rotate and repeat for many rays). Meditators globally. Global meditation. Trying to sing it. On this walk, I count the numbers.

The cloud passed over and was not raining, was rather dispersed or thinned out.

I could do the graphic for the first line Enso zeroes all of global mind. The globe with points out. Just shrink it or what? On this water I sit in peace. Selfie? With each breath in … connection. With each breath out something about full moon.

Fixed two statements about a Galactic Beam Being movie. Seems I'm still learning and experiencing as I go and can't get any overall vantage point to get it together.

2014-08-06

Thinking about how ideas about spirituality are about comprehending opposites, such as I am God and I have no ego. Or etc. Idea of paradox. So why deal with it that way? Going to spirituality, you never get there. If you come from spirituality, if you be spiritual, you act from there, spiritually-based decisions. This talk is nonsense.

2014-08-05

Indecision about where to walk. Having read about a man that died from flesh-eating bacteria in the Gulf waters, I had worried about the water and the cut on my foot. Didn't know what to wear or where I was going. Temp was 78 on weather.com so I knew it was almost cool enough to just walk around here. Thought of parking on 30A and going into DLSP by the entrance. Or E Lake west. Or Santa Clara ramp. Then remembered the deer lake inoutfall was closed, so I could walk there. I had on long sleeves and pants.

There was a gorgeous big pink sweep of cloud that I videoed going overhead from south to north. Later that made this celestial blend of golds and browns by the inoutfall, which was roaringly open. Forgetting about bacteria, I tried to cross but sand was too soft and I was up to knees and couldn't see anything shallow enough to cross. I think I should do this walk every day from now on. It is always so different. Plus I don't get all the video I think I am. I missed a darling sequence of little birds bathing in the incoming waves, they were sort of playing with each other and obviously joyful. Shaking themselves like a dog after getting all shimmy wet. So many things like that I never see again. Still remembering the starfish with the spiral arms that I saw by Camp Creek inoutfall in 2002. Never again.

Saw no plovers. Lori did an article about the family at Topsail. It said that the female tried to nest at DLSP but was too threatened by coyotes, and dogs and what else? So she moved to Topsail. So what are the others now at DLSP?

2014-08-04

I feel with these videos that I need to get down to the very most basic universal simple human beauty. The scale factor is As above. So below. The enso is centering in action (walking). Multi D is the large, as above. Rainbow bridge is the crystal in each foot, grounding with blessing, so below.

2014-08-03

Made another movie, Poincaré Dodecahedral space visualizations created using Curved Spaces software, www.geometrygames.org. Description: Here is a workout for the muscles of your imagination. Take a far out trip. Go galactic. First imagine that you live in another galaxy that you can see from afar. Next imagine that instead of 3D, it is 12D. That is, you have 12 dimensions, pictured as a dodecahedral space. Finally, imagine that you can fly in this space. This movie is a sample of how it looks. See it on YouTube. I use a few seconds of it in Enso Zeroes.

2014-08-02

Going east on my beach walk, I find a mandala enso, that is concentric circles around a central rounded peak.

I've been in such bliss ever since I woke up. I'm so happy. I had no idea what a really happy mood could feel like. It gets better all the time. I feel like I'm distributing this, whatever is so happy, right down into my cells.

I felt kind of like deconstructing, melting, becoming equalized over all my tiniest parts. My thought or walk or feeling or this or that was no more than the tiniest part of a molecule. Was it democratizing? Taking care of everything impartially. What comes to mind when righting sic writing this is the Tao te Ching advice to a ruler. Don't remember the exact words, but something about if in harmony with the Tao the 10,000 things will be happy or take care of themselves.

When singing my enso song and coming to multiD, I felt anew the truth, "as above so below". Or rather, as below, so above. As if there is no difference between the tiniest and the most huge. So the deeper my connection inward, it is equally matched by a larger connection outward. I got to the basic fact of everything is connected. Thinking the thought of connectedness is different from connecting. Doing it.

By the inoutfall, I find another partial circle enso.

2014-07-30

Enso. Needing a definition to link to. This page defines it with rainbow enso: Trips/Imagine/acts/meditation/smudge2014.htm and does not link to any other ensos on site. This page on ink painting shows some examples and circling fish video: Trips/Imagine/acts/ritual/meditativeArt/meditativeArt-ZenInkPainting.htm also unconnected. Nancy's 80th birthday card has her Thich Nhat Hanh enso with a link to it: Trips/Art/FL/things/80bdCard.htm unconnected. On 5/15/2014 beautiful enso breathing verbal journal description: unconnected. Meditation page has a link to smudge page: Trips/Imagine/acts/meditation/meditation.htm . Color/healing/colorRune.html says drop up is like a pregnant enso.

2014-07-28

Enso zeros the mind's directions, etc. I've been thinking I can use the write-on feature to do enso going one way. Have all the mind's directions as radiations when you start. Then enso zeros them by turning and winding them in. {As I say that, camera goes from grayed out beach ahead to looking down at the wonderfully colored seaweed. I briefly view a large acorn.

They get wound into zero. On this path, going clockwise, …

{at 2:16 I turn around and the color brightens up and is sunny with white sand and blue sea instead of going east grey. I remark on the wind. } The part that I'm not sure about and that I keep getting different visions about … with each … OK it winds up with … walk in peace. Then … multiD galaxies … those thousand directions might expand down through my body and out, not only in directions, but dimensions. Maybe the first one would be thoughts. Then the next one would be those rainbow galleries, galaxies. With each step, multi-D galaxies. Out they go. With each step, a rainbow bridge. And then over time, when the rainbow bridge goes out, it could go out, expand around me, from my crystal, from each crystal foot, and expand to earth

Better take some notes on what doing with rainbow bridge. Made a circle out of it, saved as rainbowCircle.psd. Made a layer filtered with default halftone. Makes it look more digital. Another layer applied blur, radial, spin, 45% which softens it, making it more like light. Using this rainbow for other modifications. It is in lamoon photos for 7/27. Basis for enso.

Made another layer of oil brushstrokes, fuzzy parts, made 33T. Some use?

Pretty good layer with Sumi-e. So involved with these new visions have abandoned my movie. Should I try to finish it? Or report on sync and doot?

2014-07-27

Out to the beach 5:45. At the edge of the road and the beach sand I tripped stumbled and fell. Every time I do that I keep score. Osteoporosis 0, Caroling's bones 1. Estrogen Replacement Therapy 0, Caroling's drug free therapy 1. As for the tea, as it flowed out I grabbed it, the cup still half full. On the bleeding scraped elbow and shin I put things from my backpack. On the pain score: Tea tree oil 1 (soothing), vinegar 0 (painful). On the to do list: put bandages in the pack.

What a glorious walk. As the sun peeped through the fringe of forest over the dunes of the park, Wolf Blitzer lookalike was there to share the good morning joy. A song came to me during the walk, modifying the words of Thich Nhat Hanh's walking meditation. The final version goes like this:

Enso zeros mind's thousand directions
But on this lovely path, I walk in peace
With each step – MultiD Galaxies
With each step – a Rainbow Bridge

Sealing the perfection of the experience, a real dug-in-the-sand of the inoutfall ENSO! I had been planning to do an enso for Galactic Synchronization and to record a cross section of the second annual arrival of the Galactic Beam. But here is the prototype. It's not just me. I used the song and photo of sand enso for the Galactic Synchronization 2014 page graphic.

2014-07-26

I have a Facebook event for today and the previous day here: https://www.facebook.com/events/679208342158112/. Lightning kept me from walking. Watching clouds covering sunrise, I feel this turbulent energy. Earlier I remember thinking I was filled with these clouds but they are more like cauliflower. Like flowers opening, separating and jostleing. Something like clouds but they're more substantial. The last vision I had, was like I'm a force and I just go where there are crevices. Its like water, which just flows. But its more like light maybe. Flowing light that finds its way through cracks and crevices.

I open the door to look at and video the sky. What I saw are like the gneiss that I saw before.

Not sure this is fit to publish. But here goes. I went shamanic. I need to separate from publishing and artwork and be open to and act directly. Art is a tool, but I need to not be limited by the familiar tools. Another fine point is whether this should be communicated. To go here, one has to be responsible in handling the increase in power. The “here” is focusing rainbow bridges at zero point, having access to multiDgalaxies.

Info about the substance of not interrogation, not infiltration, not connecting. The flow happening to me is because of expansion and evolutionary force pressurizing or building up pressure within. It is growth factor too. Life grows, expands, evolves. Actually synchronizing is a good term. Also beam is a good term. I'm with Arguelles' spirit on these points. My action is like water, without the destructive aspects of water. Same with air. It goes between, non-destructively as important as non-violently. I can feel as one with multiD/supergalactic being.

Can't remember all the fine points about who would do this. Who would need to know? Who is ready? I guess it is the person who does it.

The info about earth was stunning. It came up when thinking of water. How everything on earth set up like a model with limits. To create on earth is to destroy other creations. When eating a seed that could have had a life as its own species, I terminate that potential and make it part of my life as human species. I could think of this as transformation. But the action required to super galacticize has none of the destructive action involved on earth. I wonder if this is just a matter of scale? In superG the mode of being is non-local so it is such a different kind of being than I know as being in a body named Caroling. But it could be destructive by assumption, absence of compassion, inability to communicate. And more. It is very useful to list the qualities leading to expansion.

But I want to do something easier for earthy me. Describe the food for GSB day. Started with rice that had sprouted before cooking. Added layers of mushrooms, celery and egg whites with turmeric, salt, pepper and butter. Cook 1 minute in microwave oven. Stir. Then add parmesan flaked cheese and cilantro. Cook another few minutes to get the egg whites to cook. Before serving, add some raw celery, cheese and cilantro on top and stir. This makes delicious green-golden food in the colors I sought yesterday. Very filling. The raw vs. the cooked is to develop some kind of sensitivity or ability to discriminate. Is it to synchronize digestive efforts in dual ways for three foods. It is training.

I wrote the following to Facebook event. Here are two envisionings of the visions described yesterday morning. Excerpt: "Then felt the Rainbow Bridge in and around me. Felt it in and around the galactic center. Suddenly massive amounts of rainboid galaxies, visualized in the artwork and movies I have of multi-D. I thought that was my vision for the Day Out of Time." (See photo of artwork.)

"But then combined that with zeroing. In visualizing the interconnectedness, and connectedness I zeroed the rainbow bridged galaxies, the way I zeroed at the solstice sunrise meditation." Walking meditation. Reread web page, which contains Thich Nhat Hanh's song.

The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this lovely path, I walk in peace. With each step a gentle wind blows. With each step a flower grows.

Changed to go in multiD and super galaxies. I see the rainbow galaxies and multi D. Even when sitting still, there's movement, in a changing universe. There's also the turbulence of this beam. I did the beam in straight lines and hexagons. This one is curves and arcs, more like the whelk which is the gentle wind blows.

With each step a flower grows, I can't help but see those things that I saw for Elizabeth for some kind of healing. I showed them as hits hitting her. What I see with each footstep, like targets, like snowshoes. Like galaxies? Galactic energy?

Sticky Feet (Leo energy traces in New Zealand)When I pick the foot up, something is returned. I spread out by putting my foot down, but when I raise my foot, remember the sticky energy? (I first saw this for Leo Geary in New Zealand, I think.) I really have my whole mental culture of imagination that is not shared by anyone else in the universe. It's not sticky anymore. Its electric. Now its more connected to dimensions and supergalaxies. So its got to be more bits and not so clingy. Not so rooted. I'm more like an air plant now.

Remembering Chinese Checkers game board, where each node connected to every other one with a line. My steps are not discrete, it is not a separate flower. Then there was another feeling of flower, growing up in my spine. Like I am the flower and each step nourishes me. The last one was that each one is a rainbow bridge not a target. So there is energy coming in through the toes, through the heel. Ooh and the core stretches along the footbed. The octahedron is at the arch. Then the spirals that go both ways like a coil. Then both ways fanning out I imagine each torus, not just the one around the earth, and the one around my heart and the ones around all the galaxies these scales and the relationships are not fixed. They are interpenetrating in different realms of consciousness. I like that crystal, like a chakra, right down at the end of the shaft (the leg bone from the knee on down is kind of like a shaft. Say with each foot central chakra there is a centeredness. So each foot has its total feeling of centeredness. And of course when it is energized it spews out crystal light.

New camera, I feel you focusing on different parts as I walk. Such a sweetie, falling in love with you camera. I think I'll call it Cam like Cameron Booth. Never thought of his name as having a camera in it. Remember his visionary eyes. His turned on glaze (meaning both gaze and glaze). He was truly innerly lit. Where Malcom Myers was grungy hippie. Stirred his coffee with an engraving tool. Threw matchsticks at women's asses. I relate to all these guys in parts of me. Jo Lutz Rollins. The one who did her watercolors. Maybe I'm more like her than anybody. Allen Downs trying to do something. And then Jerome Liebling of course. Funny, everyone else got turned on by him. George Resch and Ken Burns. Maybe I did. Maybe more of my basis of art and politics. Not nature except in the case of fundamental photographs in itself. But he did teach me about Cartier Bresson, that kind of esthetic and Weston. The great classic photographers. I can hardly remember anything from art history because it wasn't hands on. Myers taught me me different techniques and attitudes like the swing of the arm or mystical meaning. The four winds. Booth tried to impart abstract expressionism. He talked about Hans Hoffman. Most taught from what they thought were principles of art.

So what do I think about this beam anyway. Just saying it, I feel it. I don't know why it seems so real to me. Scallops and scallops. Arcs and arcs. So how are the feet and flowers coming? Have to save that crystal. Seems the most important feature. Like Geome can use that.

Feet are breathing too. Breathe out put foot down, breathe in when lift foot. I can connect with other breathing too. Important to connect the far out thoughts with the chemical thoughts, electrical thoughts. Foot down, breathe out. Pull foot up breathe in. Of course earth is doing the opposite. But earth of course, has no disconnect whatsoever {Huh? How do I know that? Why do I sound so sure? What if it is earth that is manipulating us? I don't really have surety that I express. Nor should I, in my view.} Earth is just our local representation of everything. So in a sense, it is all these crystals everywhere. My feet are absolutely loving this. Loving that they're the connection. So often its the eyes or the mouth or the hand, the spine. Today we honor our feet. Beam feet. Feet beamers.

It would be nice to have a video of person walking with the wind and flowers at each step. Then morph to the person walking with multiD supergalaxies and rainbow bridges at each step. Could photo myself from the side. See the page for this day.

2014-07-25

My camera is unable to take video, as is my iPhone and my hearing aids are broken, all at the same time. Is this in honor of the Day Out of Time, possibly? A special holi-day for me. I have a Facebook event for this and the next day here: https://www.facebook.com/events/679208342158112/ The cover picture is the flyer for the event, which I submitted and is posted here along with many others worldwide: http://www.lawoftime.org/events/day-out-of-time-2014.html. I describe my morning walk adventure with photos and a brief video of rain.

In the afternoon I kayaked the lake meditatively. Being on a boat on water seems so independent and free. Like not fixed and set and vulnerable or subject to earth rules. Able to observe and move at will, but detached. Tuning in to Ma Earth's watery nature. Buoyed up by her. Rocked by her. I noticed I didn't want to be where I could touch bottom. Liked the deep parts. The whole adventure was dreamlike for me. I kind of backed into it, feeling attracted and nothing stopped me so I went ahead. It was almost like I was watching my self.

In the evening I meditated, sitting. Notes: Talking in blue. Sirius. Blue vibes, vertical. Like the waves on the lake from the wind.

2014-07-21

Just a little reflection about my process. Originally, the inspiration is so clear, so complete, so wonderful. It will be easy to create an artwork of it that people will not only love but that will enrich their lives as it has mine. I'm transported, ecstatic, can't wait to get to work.

Of course life takes time and it is later when I get to it. I open the computer trying to get back into the original state of mind. What program to use? That is would I start with stills and make a storyboard? Or could I start with movie fragments and add stills as needed? I go to my journal and see what notes I made of the experience. Usually that's where I start. I read and reread. Usually there are some photos from that day or mentioned in the vision to look at.

Mood plummets and sinks to the pits. How to proceed? The goal seems to be rapidly receeding and looking harder to achieve with every thought. At this point I do email, Facebook, eat, do laundry, exhausting possibilities of escape. Coming back to work I search the whole vision for any small thing. Breaking the vision apart is the most useful way to proceed. Chunks. Atoms. Molecules. A quark is a start. Sometimes in doing this I get many small things that seem to build or at least be a rough sketch of part of it. Often the small things appear one at a time. Climbing out of the pit is built a step at a time. Each small creative bit fires up the imagination.

In fact it is in the discovery of the process that the real satisfaction lies. I usually continue applying bits to the whole until they start to flow. I replay the video and if attention snags on a part I do more or less or amend that part. When I get through the whole video without any sticking points, it could be finished. It helps to then let it sit for days with attention elsewhere. Then replay might reveal other weak points. I hardly ever have the feeling that it is done and that the mission has been accomplished. I stop when there isn't anything that doesn't contribute.

2014-07-15

Photographed a rainbow coming right down onto the end of our road, 30A.

2014-07-13

Out to the beach before dawn. Ecstatically beautiful. There were more flippy fish than ever. What a show. Spied a dolphin out far. At one point saw the whole wave wall solid with fish. Was thinking of the full moon, galactic relationships to earth, the solstice and the new moon. Also my movie of the path. Thinking the fish show the liveliness of the arrows in my 6/27 vision. The sparkle. The gulls eat the tiny transparent fish that I had photoed before on shore. Osprey circling. I did see one tiny fish leap straight up. Bigger than the one-inchers that come ashore. The flippy ones are more like 6-10”. Some bigger. Whole gulf is seething. Love the feeling of life here in this environment I love so.

1PM local time, says Jose Federico Munoz. Crystal skull. Join us from Budapest to Nepal to Colombia and around the World in our meditations for Peace. Upload and download from the Crystal craniums Grid. Peace before 2021.

Putting my hands above my head in prayer, I see a little conch shell over my head with ocean waves coming out of it, as though they are breaking on a shore (flowing sideways, 90° rotated from normal). Seems like some kind of consciousness thing up there. I wonder if it is just for this meditation. On video, I say, “I pray that this crystal will take on the aspect of the crystal skulls.” “Thinking of shifting frequencies. This is 30fps and better change to more frequent.”“Now videoing at 60fps. AVCHD.” Can see a corner of sage and some fumes arising in. “I need to always drink one or two glasses of water before walking. I must BE water.” “I wet the surfaces of this crystal with drinking water.” At end, “Right before that went off, I got this extreme intensity. It's like a contraction, except nothing gets smaller. Maybe it is absorption of what's hugher. The intensity of what I feel within. Right after that sudden spasm, giggle, the 30-minute timer bell sounded. I always feel like staying here.” Quick inhale and sigh exhale.

2014-07-12

ECMS full moon sunrise meditation. Sitting with friends. Looking at the blue/pink wavy waters of the bay. I brushed my face twice, feeling maybe bugs. But the water from the corner of my eye that gradually made its way down my cheek was allowed. After a few thoughts, I went to Galactic Center and lost it. That is, there was no separation. I could not feel a separate I or an it or others. No emotion. If there was anything it was like a huge column of light. Really a great relief to just be without limits or boundaries. But it did increase in a combination of joy, love, gratitude and intensity. Vivid positivity.

2014-07-10

Started Wholeo Galactic page. (Not done until 7/16.)

2014-07-07

Because I joined the group following the Unify event on the solstice, I need to look up crystal skulls. On crystalinks Crystal Skulls page there is a section headed "Principle of 12 Around 1" with a drawing that is so much like a vision that came to me for galactic, I go galactic movie. Looking at it now, I see mine is 14 around 1, theirs is 12. The spaces between are vortexes, or spiral horns or tubes, maybe chakras. I received this vision in wakeup at 4 AM on 2/28/2013. I don't say it is a dream. I say it is an approximation. So I could have gotten it wrong. The description of the contact though is fantastic.

2014-07-06

Writing that it just hit me. But writing that I got over it. First hit said that probably that pinky just pre sunrise time must explain the so-called galactic pinkup on the solstice. Second hit said, no, the pink was several minutes after sunrise, when I've never seen pinky and wouldn't expect to. Third hit says, hmm, last year the dew splat happened after the sun was up. And it was not the solstice time of day. Maybe it is a bay pinkyness that doesn't happen on the gulf.

But I had a marvelous creative moment that is more that is, better, than speculation. An actual practice. I'm already wondering what to wear for the video. Maybe blue costume with blue ninja hood. I do not want to look person-specific. I wonder if I could make an app where you put your own head in there, doing the yoga. Call it orbit. I'm completely on fire. The morning was the absolutely most ecstatically beautiful and the video fantastic I think.

Tiny glass-like fish, smallest ever, looking transparent in the surf, flipping on sand. The biggest, deepest sand hole I've ever seen. Screen shot sand waves. Then zoom in to tiny glassy flipping fish. Pass hole. Then see fish boil. Couple of splashes. Later go down and sit down on back of inoutfall to change camera battery. It was so perfect there I went into spontaneous meditation. However, seeing someone back of me out of corner of eye, I thought maybe I could do it with turned head but was too distracted.

Weird. Closed my eyes wondering what the centering info for supergalaxy would be and I got golden green, like the waves of green. Reminded of the surf. Interestingly enough, that was on 6/27 when contacted the band, the sun2galaxy band.

This is easy to rough in. One of those days where the effects I chose and guessed at seem to work. So I've got me doing the first orbit, which I had forgotten is really x and y because it goes around horizontally and overhead side to side. Although for this, I guess I have to split it up, so horizontal is earth, overhead is galaxy. Then the front to back is the z axis. Another thing that surprises me is that I have to lean over forward to keep arms in horizontal. Wondering if I can do it remaining upright.

I remember leading orbits at a retreat but can't find a written version.

Big feature was the three coordinates, which I introduced as applying math to yoga and our space, the x, y, and z axis. Mentioned the New Zealand Maori women's finger flutters, actually hand flutters. Then emphasised go both ways, do both sides, the principle of balance between opposites and not favoring one side. Writing this I realize I have balanced the two sides. But have never gone both ways. That is huge new thing to explore in carolyoga.

2014-07-05

Did sunrise yoga on Carillon beach with LauraLynn, who is leaving for Hawaii. She had these affirmations about the 4th of July. Independence, your own personal freedom. And then interdependence, how you are connected with everything else.

Thinking about the EIEnor graphic mentioned on 7/2. I must expand that into pixels and maybe turn pixels into vibes. It seems like between the blue and the pink. Pink up the galaxy. Pinkup. Between the blue, that's where you find this aura expansion, like stretching. Like turbulent changes. That's the mystical part. Mystical purple. Myst purpleness. And it comes out red and pink and salmon. … and eventually comes around.

2014-07-02

Have just realized I limit myself to mystical stuff in the blog. There is no account of my nature adventures and resulting web work. Not to mention friends, relatives, and life in general.

For better or worse, that's how it is.

Galactic center beaconStrange and so wonderful, when I sharpened the screenshot of coming to focus after sunrise vibes, it formed a pink halo around the EIEnor. In fact, I must inspect that more. Having no success emphasizing pink on the sargasso weed.

Here is my comment sent to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC):

I know that the FCC is now headed by someone who was a lobbyist for something I'm against. This official wants to end net neutrality, which has been the most wonderful part of my life for 14 years. I was at SGI with Jim Clark before he left to found Netscape. I've had my own website for 17 years. It must stay this way, where a retired artist can reach anyone in the world anywhere, without commercial restraints. It is important for the future of the human race. Since this decision affects virtually everyone in the world, I hold you to this standard. You can not just do what Verizon wants. You have to put it to a global vote.

2014-07-01

The farther out my attention anchors, like say at SGC (Super Galactic Center), the better my cells feel, the farther in my caring extends.

There was the picture at the inoutfall. I can not believe my lens. I've never seen the WaterSound buildings so big. Even when I've walked the mile to WaterSound. I just can't comprehend how I got those images. Here's what I wrote on the Facebook photo: The camera lies. My mind also falters. Could that be Scotty Lisenbe with tripod and giant lens at the inoutfall in Deer Lake State Park at dawn this morning? The sign is at the end of the park, almost 1/2 mile away. The buildings are in WaterSound, much farther away. I never see them this way. The photographer came here to get one of the least developed parts of our beach. This photo makes it look built up. This zoom lens can not be trusted.

2014-06-30

I joined a Facebook event (URI Global Indigenous Initiative, Hidden Seeds of Natural Healing and Curing) as a "virtual space holder". I am to take some time to go within and connect to the field of energy and consciousness shifting the human family to respect earth and one another. #HiddenSeeds. Wisdom keepers will be gathered in council. URI is universal religious initiative. Later I realized they are connected to Pomo in Santa Rosa, California, where I had roots. (Dancers, dream doctors, Essie Parrish.)

Practicing simultaneity, which is occupying two locations at once, not merging them, not being one more than the other. Superimposed in the imagination (seeing one semi-transparent, slightly rotated or off-register of the other). The EIEnor connector mutter and the beacon out in the gulf linking these bodies of water

Also had the slightest thought that maybe could center at super galaxy. That is when simultaneity happening. Also searching for a being at multiple locations at once word. Quantum mechanics says an atom can be in two places at once, which predicts a multiverse. One word is bilocation. Or mulltilocation.

About the sunrise solstice light increase, who knows? (See Inner Solstice 2014.)

2014-06-29

Vision of the morning was walking back west on Blessings Beach an indian chief came to me. I'm ashamed to identify this spirit with my cultural stereotype, but that's what i've got for this weathered, medium-long haired, wise-looking old image. Feather stuck in back of headband. I've got one too, feeling like antenna. He's coming from inland with feeling that is what tribes used to do. He's pointing out over the water, kind of west of south. That's where there is a beacon in the center of the Gulf of Mexico. From there, see all the sun and moon risings and settings throughout the year. Beam to bodies of water. Choctawhatchee bay has one too. I am Walking Lake and I commune with water centers.

Contacted. Beacon is better than on land. Gets better signals. And set up to add to what is there. I'm doing this ancient practice. Not new age. What people do. As I write this, I'm wondering if some day, if these thoughts survive, that people will find visioning more common. Seeing these words would be like looking at a primitive map. Will a psychic beacon be as commonly recognized as a 3D plastic form would be today?

Today I want to work on solstice light. Gee I could do the whole four minutes. She said, knowing that she's decided to do it. Now experiencing myself as gullible, wishful thinking, ignorant, and so on. Did I look at the entire 30 minute video for light levels? What if a cloud or fog happened to pass by during those four minutes? Maybe a better inquiry is about why you have such an interest. If there were a light pink glow added to the solstice time, so what? I associate that with information. That something has been sent that I have acknowledged. Or that something happened that I noticed. It seems to be an enhancing of the natural sunrise features of getting brighter and having warm colors. I know I unexpectedly experienced tumultuous vibrations for a few seconds during that time so perhaps it was like an aura healing. Also since I have noticed brightening during the 2012 outer solstice sunrise meditation and pinking during the 2013 inner solstice, should I conclude that this was a combination of those times? Or is it simply that if you look for omens, you will get them?

That reminds me of this morning's sunrise walk vision about the feather antenna and body of water beacon.

Reading about a galaxy that our galaxy is in! Super Galactic Center (SGC) on web page: http://www.souledout.org/cosmology/gc/gp.html. These superstructures [SGC and GC] are literally perpendicular to each other with their centers at the zero points of the Cardinal signs. GC/Capricorn/ December solstice, SGC/Libra/September equinox. This gets my attention: 2 to 3 days before the Inner solstice, the earth conjoins the heart of the GC. I think he means aligns with rather than conjoins. He uses misleading words like saying we are at the hub of the SGC instead of saying we are aligned with and nearer the SGC than the sun is. Instead of picturing lines of great distances, he collapses the universe around sun and earth like shrink wrap.

Suddenly realizing my emotion about so-seemingly misleading info is a projection of the shaky structure of my own cobbled together visions of galactic space. Sensing my failure of imagination and words, I feel so weak and clueless.

Meanwhile I kind of like the simplification and the vision of the perpendicularity. If I get the meaning, then Sept. 21 is as important for earth with respect to SGC as June 21 is for earth with respect to GC. Interesting that our main Christian holidays are exactly opposite. Maybe is sun-worship. When the sun is closest to SGC and GC, that is our priest. {On 7/2, note that I might have misunderstood where SCG hub is. This merits much more study.}

Increasingly skeptical that this pinking or pinkup has any value, nevertheless am publishing it. At least I'll weave a mystical tale.

2014-06-28

On dawn beachwalk, at WaterSound turnaround I start talking on video. It has been almost 24 hours since I was focusing on being at GC. I get the feeling that there is this momentum creating this band that's kind of a sun, earth, galaxy path. It will be maintained, especially at the full moon, with the pull. This is the push from the new moon or both. But opposite directions. It is about sunrise time. I was expressing extreme gratitude at being here now.

2014-06-27

Big news about the morning is the galaxy people evolution and the new moon. I've got that orgasmic relationship deep meditation bliss feeling all over my body.

Walking east on the beach, thinking about the alignment I felt arrows coming from GC out over the Gulf in the west somewhere, not sure of angles but sensing this. Actually envisioning maybe eight white simple arrows coming in our general direction. Like kind of a beam or expanded sheaf. So it wasn't all over. It was like 1 or 3' feet in diameter. I think of various sizes.

I'm not sure what else happened until this sunbeam hit me in the back, while walking west. Was it the ordinaryness of the GPs? That when they have come, as in the book, Mt. Shasta and the Galaxy People, have been honored for years and realized to be our own nature, that they just enjoy life on earth? I lost something here that I was going to write. Hate it when I put a thought on hold and it doesn't hold.

I'm opening to these rays or arrows. I curve back aura so as to receive on more surface and also deeper in. The more I arc, the more of me is exposed. Then multiplied the arcs so each one able to open more. Finally it got down to a unit of consciousness that matched the incoming arrow. That locked into permanent association. Like hologram, it became true for all such units, it caught on.

Then I went to GC. The closer I got, the more facilitating it was to the communication via arrows. It might work something like this. When GC senses that it is being noticed, received, and honored, it gains in power and quantity of what is sent. Earth acknowledges and encourages galactic sync and GBB so it grows. But the station at GC is a great source of encouragement. So the beam is AC. This is the next big step in the around the earth in 24 hours realization.

Whelk seed case arc could mimic how I arched and opened to the beam rays.

As I arch my whole aura forward, exposing myself, opening myself, smaller and smaller arrows come. More and more come, like 20, 200, 2000. {Note, the following text repeats what is written above. Leaving both sentences because I'm not sure of the sequence. Maybe it will be apparent later.} Somehow my attention devoted to the finer and finer arrows until there's an equal. One arrow and one unit of consciousness. That locks. And then that's locked. All the others get it. Like a hologram. No difference between one and all of them. Then I started traveling along the beams to the center of the galaxy to that station there. The more I did that provides acceleration. It is a two-way thing. When we realize incoming and then I go and help transmit. Earth is turning. This band between the sun and moon, for the next 24 hours I can kind of maintain that spacial relationshiip.

Looked over and saw Geome. Picked it up and realize I need to crystalize or crystal store these vibes. Held with left hand and touched with right. Yes, that contact to with the arrow as equal ensued. Looking at it, can see chakras and the Wholeo symbol focused. It straightens legs and sharpens center point to narrow the contact and channel energy straighter.

How can I track my progress around earth? Need path of ecliptic or what? Just realized that I had a local vision of this task. When really tried to visualize where I would be each hour, in each timezone, I realized we are changing with respect to galaxy. So the path or band as I experienced it, as opposing nodes of sun and GC is not fixed. About sunset or near there, there won't be any band at all. The band for each location is between it and the sunrise. OK, so the band is true but my visualization is shaky. I'm back to thinking I was right except for my location. Best if I can maintain station at GC for an hour.

2014-06-26

Had a song of three unrelated words. It did say that the light of the new moon helps consolidate and GBB something. I'm enjoying the garbanzo beans and brown rice that I sprouted in the light of the solstice.

2014-06-22

Most exciting find is that it seems that in about four minutes centered on the solstice the light intensified to pinkest and died back. In other words, we were flashed pink. It seems that the orchid high sky radically appears about 17:54:43 – 17:57:34, about 3 seconds. Then we stay in that light through a radical change from 21:58:40 -22 (1.5 seconds). So I guess we have four minutes of orchid high sky or general pink tone or who knows what was going on behind us. I've worked and compared for a long time, then look back to the beginning of the paragraph and I got it intuitively from the start. I'm going through the shift light thing where it seems I've discovered something significant.

There were similar subtle changes on the December 2012 and June 2013 solstices. The December 2013 Outer solstice sunrise meditation and labyrinth walk times were obscured by clouds. I observed nothing special that day.

2014-06-21

Inner solstice at 5:51AM CDT. I Unify calls for meditation at 12PM PDT which is 2PM CDT. There is initiative to share photos of sacred places. Sunrise at Stonehenge will be streaming video on Unify at midnight. If I'm awake I'll look and see. GoldenEye video is making a movie of all 1-minute movies sent to them of anything from the day. Send to video@goldeneye2014.com I could make mine of Williford springs.

Nancy says she wants to do sunrise meditation here instead. Started at 5:30. Joan and Leslie came at the same time. Nancy said she first saw the sun at 5:46. The earliest I can see it in the video is 5:45 and 30 seconds.

Wonderful meditation. Zeroed in on a tiny EIEnor connector. First onset of vibes. Second onset of vibes. First vibes like fan of cards in disparate disarray tugging me apart. Only hope was to find calmly the point of peace center aligning but not merging them all. Went away. Maybe 5, 7 or 10 minutes later convulsive spasmodic vibrations where I let go dissolved out fissling into all of them with no center. Still resolves into unity.

I was enchanted with the horizontal fine pinking wavelets of the water, the horizontal horizon band of mauve cloud. The windy feathery white clouds in blue gesturing above. Didn't think the sun would pierce that blanket of insulation but it faintly did arise, the only thing there. At first dull rose, but colors changing from reds to golds, exquisite in the commanding power of something that looked so small. There was lots more content now forgotten. For example there was a graphic I was considering, where I would add blue vibes and more to the Facebook cover shot.

Leslie and I went to Williford but it has been closed for restoration. {It will take a year or more for the new plantings of native species to take root and stablize the banks of the spring.}

2:00pm meditation with Unify in car in Pt. Wash SF. More visions to be explored.

2014-06-20

Woke at 2AM and walked the bridge over Eastern Lake where I could see the stars of Sagittarius and Scorpio over the lake, in fact reflected in the lake. Feeling kinship with galactic center. Walked 2.2 miles back and forth.There was one anomaly. A bright light appeared to the right of the moon. I thought it must be a planet, so bright. Or more likely a plane. When I looked again it was gone. Maybe a passing cloud is obscuring it, I thought. But I never saw it again.

2014-06-19

I see the blue emerging towards the galaxy {I think I mean GC} and I need to practice that for the moment of solstice when it will be perfectly aligned I think. The dunes and clouds profiles with the rising sunlight are exquisite. I see pink radiating off some seaweed. When I get close, it's not pink at all. {However, does have a little pinkyness in the video. Not like the kind of bubbly orb like pinks of the vision, though.} I say I'm even seeing it in here, {meaning the viewfinder} It must be so light sensitive. I must remember this and put it in. Next video is where the blurred seaweed could be bubble pinked. This year it might be the first new moon after the solstice {for the galaxy people contact}. And it is pink instead of blue. Pink at the feet. Blue at the back. Pink center of galaxy.

2014-06-12

Sunrise meditation. I really want to focus more on perception of reality. My scenario. Very interesting. Feeling like I am the center of the galaxy but it is here too. Squish, space squeezes down so whole galaxy radius surounding center and we are in one view. And yet the perspective of a part of a cell in me, as vast as looking out into the night sky.

Email to Joan and Leslie: "About my/our reiki session last night. Not only high energy giving but visions to think on. I know that as healers you tend to not engage your clients' results. That would wear you out. But as a friend, I'm reporting.

"Two things loom large. One is Joan's perceptive view of a giant blueness. The other is Leslie's perceptive view of what I remember as this: 'The koala bear became a larger one and finally a huge grizzly, not threatening. Had head through a porthole in a wall of glass, that became a collar and then a crown of thorns. Message for the bear is that something needs to be expressed and if the bear would just look around it would be easy, not hard.'

"In pondering what needs to be expressed, it could be my most challenging new artwork or lifelong characteristic hangups. Or, duh, both.

"It could be the galactic blueness, which has been on my most needed TODO video list for the past two years, increasing in insight and seeming complexity. I keep finding more immediately rewarding tasks such as for the Florida Trail folks. Instead of the lonely path to try to express something far out with little support.

"Or could the bear's dilemma be my tendency, when not getting what I want or need, to say "I'll show you", rather than being assertive. My not knowing what my feelings are so I can be present with them. If this bear knew what wanted to be expressed would maybe be what I should be more open to. Then again wondering if the "looking around" or looking in a different direction would be way of framing expression or different listeners or maybe at this point be more willing to consider alternative outlets. Can feel whole body jamming on the brakes. Gotta laugh at myself. Screwed up self, still can get a laugh out of it.

"Thank you both for our meeting. I very much enjoyed playing, channeling, and healing"

From Leslie: "Sweet friend, It seems you may be over thinking. I often do that. What helps me is go with the feeling that seems most strong. Just do it. You can't go wrong because you will be moving forward not stuck trying to figure out what path. I so enjoyed our time together last night! Quite wonderful and amazing! I slept so comfortable when I got home. Thank you for being you! I'm already looking forward to next time! Peace and Love Leslie."

From Joan: "Leslie has a good suggestion, to go with the feeling that seems most strong. I was drawn to your throat chakra, which is the center for expressing yourself, and the giant blue field emanating from you might indicate the volume or power of your expression, blue being the color associated with the throat chakra, so I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself being creative or expressing yourself in a some way since your session.  Some effects happen right away, some over a little period of time.  Since Reiki is all encompassing, the results may be in your physical body, your emotional well-being, and your spiritual development.  Reiki energy has a way of assisting the flow, perhaps speeding things up.

"In Medicine Cards, bear is associated with intuition and introspection.  In the sense of Leslie's vision, your intuition may have been or may be quite throttled, or a 'crown of thorns' to you. There is something there that begs to be sorted out. I am thrilled that you feel energized from your session. Much love to you! Joan."

Dear me, you, yes are over thinker. Must need to work on this vision dream of the blue throat bear. Is a polar bear. We are great friends like a long hug. And pink tongue smile laughs. I think therefore I am a dunce. I feel like the thorns are the price of creativity. I can't see the path forward, but I feel obligated to my FTA commitment to finish an opening day hike video. Before the week from next Tuesday. Next Wednesday publishing. These days and dates and hours are thorns. The pricks of time. And yet I love that time gives renewed choices. Neverending choices it seems.

2014-06-10

Received Reiki and did spiritual healing tonight. Leslie asked if I could draw a vision that came up while Leslie was in the chair, of the torus with the core connecting me, Leslie and Joan centers. I thought I could but when got specific at home, seems that the core is through all but the torus is not big enough for that. Only big enough for one person. So the torus effectively works as though it were at all three at once.

2014-05-28

Having a different headache today. Upper middle left side of brain. Sprinkles of pain drops scatter from time to time. I tried talking to brain and saying I hear you. Will try water, food, vitamin D (which I knew I skipped last night), and coffee. Will that do it? What is it that you need? What are you telling me? I'm assuming all pain is that portion of the body or nerves trying to get my attention. But it sure is challenging to understand correctly, given I'm assuming that my consciousness of this pain designates this consciousness as the caretaker of all the parts capable of signaling and that I'm capable of receiving. So I not only have to understand the call but moderate my response with due consideration of every single other part or should I say the Wholeo. This is the true Wholeo action. Surfer dude is the feeling of staying afloat and enjoying the waves of signals received. Forgot to mention coughing. Occasional. As if there is something there, congestion.

Feeling so blessed with Facebook links to my family (Patrick), my dream teacher (Azima, Lila), my 360 world wide photographers with Google support, my explorer (Justin Riney), my NZ belle (Robyn), my day tripper (Eda), my Farm contact (Mark Hubbard), my local artist friend (Emily Ellis), my witch cohort (Sheewho), my neighbor (Doug).

2014-05-24

Meditated remotely with Mindfulness retreat a few times today. Woke shortly after 5AM, hearing a Buddhist meditation bell chime. A big one, like 5” across. I didn't know if it was an alarm, to leave home or just awakening. It might have been earlier. Anyway the sunrise sky was glorious all over the sky. Not the most dramatic ever, but rosy and nice clouds lit up. I got out before dawn.

On the walk I felt that I do mindfulness all the time is why talking about it seems superfluous. But I still don't know if practicing it with others, I should say I don't know what I'm missing by not doing the retreat. I did tune into GC where there is the big EIEnor form. Like an unlit lantern. When I turn on awareness the blue vibe exchange turns on instantly. So how do I keep it on all the time? That is the question. Would it help to do a picture, the way I see it in vision?

9:05-9:20 Meditation. See expanded Wholeo original symbol space. Spent quite awhile unsuccessfully struggling and even fighting to turn it, to rotate it at all, to assert advanced shift Wholeo symbol. Finally realized this is the boundaries of this Mindfulness Retreat. Not to be violated or changed. It could be just one person's vision will, or the conscensus. Or honestly, my view of their endeavor. When I saw a vessica, a thin clamshell, that transformed into a light passage between Wholeo shifted sides, finally I felt ascended, shifted, free.

The EIEnor at GC was complicated. Not simply a matter of awareness kindling light and interaction. There was a thing of all my cells so enjoying the kinship with the others. Blending, mingling, blissing. There was a blueness, perhaps the vibes so fine, fast, and not physically like microscopic that all visible is a color awareness of swarms. No breathing at GC. Is earth thing. There is an analogous dicotomy. Perhaps more like ACK, SND, RCV, on, or off process oriented.

11:25-11:40 meditation. Had the distinct feeling they would be running late so set my timer for 20 minutes. Forgot to alternate leg position. Before the end feeling both feet were beyond prickly sensations and seriously asleep. Stretched legs out and then kneeled with cushion between bent legs. Then it was 11:45 over. So I did do a solid sitting for over 15 minutes. Wonderful, still beaming. Seems l went right to GC and there was no EIEnor because there were no boundaries. Nothing defined. It was just is. I love me. I love thee was part of some song. There was a time of EIEbings being so fine, so many prongs, not just 4, that almost a blur. And a time of bells, like when conceived Elizabeth. Do I have that drawing? I have the feeling I do but must look.

There was later a time of concentration, of solidity like steel. But it was not changing in size but getting incredibly dense. Feeling of orgasm without vibration or movement. Smiling with the Buddhas. O there were various contexts, like the group at the retreat and the GC fellows and a sense that there was really only one and that was an illusion, but at the same time being able to choose a point of view. A wondering if Leo was an earth person only, then thinking no separation between us, same being, then feeling essence of Leoness.

Later making lunch feeling weightless but purposeful and efficient and appreciative of my context. But feeling compelled to think about mindfulness. Like would it be possible to intend to be unmindful?. Isn't mindfulness our general state, but our mind wanders? Seems like if I try to not be mindful that I just get an uncareful mindfulness. There is no way to be anything other than mindful. You can be dreamy, ineffective, misguided, overly emotional, careless, distracted. Doesn't it get back to karma, which we define as cause and effect. I can be inconsiderate, not pay attention to what you want me to. Attention is another thing that is not optional. Blah blah. Discursive. Not valuable.

1:45-2 Walking meditation. No notes.

3:45-4:15 Meditation. How inconsistent. First of all, splayed legs so feet resting on floor and not pressing on thighs or each other. Then put the unfinished coffee in front of me. Actually drank three times. It tasted so good. Saw blue light intermittently. Got visionary also intermittently. Wild ideas. Started thinking about how a picture composed of different elements from different times gets melded in my consciousness. The particular difficulty is with the brain cell. How does one cell gather together with memories of disparate cells? And what have 5 cells to do with each other? Got a peculiar sense that the five are not all mine. These EIEnor EIEbings are galactic brain cells and could be pooling five different planets or people or consciousnesses. The thoughts going on cannot be comprehended in 3D or 4D reality as I am incarnated. It is not only but partly like the flatland triangle trying to imagine a sphere, seen only as it passes through as a series of rings.

My experience participating was mostly like blue lightning or blood vessels, fast, eratic zaps flashing, making connections or pathways in forms I cannot see. There was a lot more. When coming out of phases there is the sense of loss of meaning. Like what was real in the vision is gradually seen as a mere vision, insubstantial and increasingly unbelievable or even conceivable. Also many nodding off to sleep but not to the point of falling over. There was also the dull sense that I experienced in some late afternoon meditations at our all day retreats. Like no visions, no emotions, no thoughts, just plain sitting there, neither OK nor not OK. Not even accepted or rejected. Not compared. Not desired to stay or be over. Who knows maybe that's the true enlightenment. Didn't seem to have much to do with the mindful folks.

2014-05-15

When first started meditation, I saw a coil, spinal coil in the center of the circle. Then a lotus appeared over that. Each petal in mosque shape outlined with ruby red. This spread from a green interior, white encompassing dome of petals all over, all around. A time of clear light. Love. Intensity. Actual caring for people.

Now that I've slept and woken up, I remember enso breathing. Surely one of the most solidly beautiful things I've ever done. That is seen. Breathe in the brushstroke meeting paper. Which has a circular quality of its own, the first touch. No as the enso breathings proceeded, I found the breathe in was between ensos. The breathe out was the deep touch of inspiration, end of hold or return. Then as breaathe out continued, the ink diminished, the stroke dried, the individual bristles appeared, it gradually became fainter until the return of the circle was not only blank, it was a spiral. The 3D enso is up, or in, or out, spiraling in, up, out to infinity.

2014-05-13

Had some philosophical thoughts. It started with thinking that the only reality is in perception. Like it is true if it seems to be true. It can't be contradictied because there is no other reality than that. But it also started with puzzling over the idea of a spirit that is separate from the physical. I can't grasp that. My body and my mind can't be differentiated. I can't tell them apart. Seems like all consciousness is the base of reality, like some deep aquifer. It springs up into formations that are more or less impermanent. It is crystalized consciousness that has various characteristics depending upon the form.

2014-05-05

At GC, I had the feeling I have an EIEbing as outpost. Kind of like a permanent location. EIEnors are like packet hubs or routers, so there aren't a lot of EIEbings. There are many EIEnors that manifest on the EIEbing and I'm not sure if it is all serial or if there is parallel processing too. The EIEbing has features like a router or internet hub. That's about all I got.

This is the day that the upstairs unit had a plumbing leak that flooded all my rooms but one.

2014-04-26

The Hello Galaxy movie introduces the EIEbing to the galactic center. Text says that it will eventually be incorporated into the Galactic Beam Being movie. I should focus on this inner journey.

The beam being needs sound. The process of getting the EIEbing galactic is not yet incorporated. On the GBB page I say this is a study for a more complete beam being vision. Must see if there actually can be a movie.

Looking at the Galactic Synchronization page, second thing to add to GBB movie is the EIEnor expansion with clarity. Could use the sound around the rainbow water maybe. The clicking.

GS is not space oriented. It is multi-D, I am the outer and blue. It has water, wind, and insect sound that I find grounding. At the end of the page, make a link back to HG. So try both paths. First I'm going back to HG. Which was via wholeopen. So now all that is left is the GMM event.

Since use of the term “outer solstice” links to Advance Equinox 2013, I made a graphic with labels at the top of the page.

The Eyebing->EIEbing page graphic needs to be animated. The brain cell info patterns need to be intermittent. They don't form the shape, they are just animated synergizing as if projected on there. Secondly the tet triangles need to animate, reflecting the color of the associated cube. Maybe someday I'll be able to distinguish the two tets of each cube, but would be a good start to at least show the basic 5 ness.

Reconsider: reconnect with use of mystsynthesis. Reading Mystsynthesis 2013 I'm turned off because it seems to be about deer lichen and earthballs, rather than a process of the special kind of symbiosis synergizing mystically. I shouldn't start with an example, I should be general and the example follows. I'm not reading all the definitions here but I think I should gather them all into the GBB movie.

There is a lot more to be done.

2014-04-22

At 8 sat for Unify (World Water Day) and it was divine. Still transported, enhanced, gleeful. At one point I felt a surge merge group hug. So loving. Felt weightless partly. At times floating, like a candle or waterflower (waterlily) on large rolling back and forth waves. At one point opened eyes wide and experienced clear light. Mind resigned to not understand, but being awake, aware, being in clear light. General intense intensity.

2014-04-20

I met a deer on Hwy 30A in Deer Lake SP this morning. We locked in a love gaze for three still minutes.

2014-04-17

Remembering a vision that happened during meditation. ECMS was mostly about solid intensity of connection. Feel like I'm a builder. But there was an enso time. It was a rainbow enso, actually a spectrum enso. I would so love to work on this as a video artwork. Take a cross section of rainbow, gives me a spectrum of what we can see from red to blue violet. The brush then smears this line into a circular pattern or swirl starting at the top, going clockwise around with gold yellow green at the bottom and rounding up headed towards red but infra red never meets uv, just as the enso circle paradoxically is never complete. But we rest in the stillness of the almost complete but imperfect each moment.

Digitally I can imagine doing it as a spectrum straight line and then curving that in a circle. I would like to do this for earth day. Around Geome. But the real deal would be to be able to draw with my stylus using the graphic tablet, making my enso. Maybe as my event for that day. {This vision and act entered into the Earth Day altar.}

2014-04-16

Picked up Geome and it is like UV light, cooly electric with a hover aura, sort of not exactly fitting in or weighing in my hand. Friendly like a heart in feeling, organic like a bird breast and responding, warming in love feeling. This is the way to interpret experience. Don't mix metaphors but allow consciousness to evolve and stick with what is important, crucial, intense, alive, synergizing.

2014-04-13

Embraced the paradox that being at GC is not separate from being here now. Wondering if I'm sharing there and if that is the modus operandi, or contact method, then can I experience their sharing?

2014-04-12

Tuned into GC (Galaxy Center) and immediately had the insight that it is an all the time thing now. When oriented and tasked and intentions are set, the mission of the being includes GC as home turning point and associations made with other galactic beings there, it does not stop. LikeYaani says about enlightenment, it is permanent. But I take that back. I think it has to be affirmed and nurtured consciously as needed, because it is not set, not solid state, it is dynamic, organic, growing, changing. Plus it is spiritual and holy and needs namaste and and occasional ceremony, meditation focus, ACK. Acknowledgement. In fact, I don't know what it might develop into. What I do know is that it is part of my cellular functioning. Was about to say now, but it is really all the time. I just have brought it into conscious awareness. Should I say raising it above the instinctual level.

2014-04-10

While driving up to do the Hwy 331 expansion hike, I felt like I do after a sunrise meditation, just oozing with, saturated with, exuding joy of being. And then I said at the same time, I seem to be at the center of the galaxy at the black hole and there are others there. A galaxy gang.

2014-03-26

Got feeling today that stomach stops hurting when I go to the kitchen, like it knows its pain signal is getting what it signaled was needed. Then the plate that was slant propped on something, slipped down as I formed intention to put a bowl on top. Got feeling that if recognize consciousness everywhere, it responds consciously.

2014-03-24

Had a long interaction with a fly that I thought needed to escape from being trapped between the sliding screen and glass doors. Finally I received guidance about the rainbow bridge orientation. Fly says rainbow bridge is to become galactic. It did not end until a general truth. The lesson is centering. Do we always center in the middle of the screen, giving up on our explorations of the edges, which might lead to more choices and maybe the freedom we were seeking?

I will have to make a series of graphics in sketchup where there are 1, 2, 3, 4, and then 5 added. Whereupon ziggy zaggy neuronic lightning vibe energies start building images within the empties and wholeopens evolve. And the background of deer lichen morphs into the aquifer pool. {Note that I did the series up to "Whereupon" and not following.

This was going to be part of the EIEnor expansion from 5 cubes, but it is really EIEbing, morphing into Elobing.

2014-03-23

144-days-to-star-rememberance/, this page says we are in a 4-year process of holographic alignment: From the inception of the galactic beam to the flowering of the beam as Universal Awareness. {Ending in 2017?} 2018-19 is year of the Cosmic Healer. 2019-2020 is the Magnetic Wizard. The GM108X transmission is the central focusing beam of this new force field. This transmission originated from the star Sirius, which is understood as an interdimensional star council. In turn, Sirius receives its commands from Hunab Ku, the center of the galaxy. GM108X is Hermetic Mind Stream. Or Galactic Mayan mind transmission?

2014-03-22

Went with Nancy, Dianne, and Jean to Claude AnShin Thomas' Magnolia Zen Center.

Very formal dress, walking patterns, lots of ritualistic incense burning. Nice gong emphasis. When Claude opened the door to the room, I felt a kind of large arc zoom out to connect us. I should say I saw it because I don't have any mental or emotional description of effect. It was rounded at the ends and wider in the center. Of course I had chosen the seat right next to his.

We meditated two times for 20 minutes each (one facing into the room, one facing the wall) with a slow walk in between. The woman assistant (KenShin) described everything up front. That is, when met us at the door, gave what Nancy gives in instruction. One thing I had not heard or remembered was that the hand position, where four left fingers cupped over four right and thumbs form an oval above, the thumbs are slightly not touching.

Then in zendo, explained about the seating walking and slow walking and chanting books. She glided in the slow walk. It was faster than Nancy's way and did not have half a foot steps. Breathe in right, out left. Nancy's is slower with a full breath on each step. Afterwards he explained the Zaltho Foundation logo with an enso, the various meanings, who did it, an artist friend and how the two figures are sword holders, poised to chop swords at each other but held apart by the enso.

Yanni was enthused to go to Williford Springs and we had quite a good time. Really trying to communicate. Many areas of agreement. Trying to understand how her fixed positions don't seem to be able to be translated into my mystic ones. Like I feel God is a word that I could translate into the whole. But she feels the whole can not be your best friend, does not have a personality.

2014-03-21
Woke up dancing and singing with just great zest and verve for life. Feeling this great rapport with David, like there is this pinpoint center that we are both at. Thinking of the yoga of meditation last night. Like thought is a muscle tensing, just like, say making a fist when stretching, that has nothing to do with the bending of the pose. So I work to release that. So letting go everything in my bodymind (which is a whole like spacetime), I enjoyed allcell, all cells expanding, going to center, maybe galactic center, and wholeopening vibe action.

And there was a time when that too was released. But I treasure that vision of all the whirling action. Like coming into its own, super active. Like yoga being centered on a pose, everything irrelevant eliminated, the pose really comes into its own. So am I going to allow last night's adventure to eat up today? Maybe, if it is that important. The thought just entered head that maybe this new functioning view of the evolutionary being is really the Elobing, sic, Elobeing. Eyebing, EIEbing, Elobing! I can't ever get to the content, the message of my artwork because it forever slinks off into the treetops, ever eludes.

2014-03-20
What I'd like to do today. Maybe walk around the north part of E lake in preparation for World Water Day. . Just saw 7 birds flying in an arrow, telling me I should do it too. Heed omens is a kind of mindfulness. Other thought was to go to Williford cave but am scared to go by myself.

2014-03-19

Got a cube orange expanding to EIEnor but what to do next? Should I put the tets in there? Yes I did and I really like it. It might be too fast for real understanding, but it works for me. Clean clear beautiful. However, in working on the next cube, pink, uncovered can of worms. I was making it separately in its own sequence when suddenly realized the shape filled the screen top to bottom. But the orange one was smaller. I had been assuming they were all the same size. So I put the orange cubeNtets in the pink and found very bad result. Even when reduced in scale, the pink does not match the orange exactly. This brings up heaps of concerns.

One, how do real biological cells fit together in this complexity when working remotely, virtually, and like all living biological things, vary organically. Is it a push pull, kind of social thing? Is there an organizing factor that oversees? I keep thinking of the FTA folks arranging themselves for the photo. How many people? And each looked at neighbors and adjusted so that each person's portrait was at least a face and usually neck and shoulders too. I imagine it working like that. The cells each have the idea of how it can be and can adjust their extent. Of course I don't know if they keep the shape of the structure or if they are just wads and blobs kind of stuck in.

2014-03-18
Am reading Light Body. It truly is the precursor for everything now. There are some parts forgotten, like the slivers from the octahedron. I should/must reread. Today I hope to get a movie of expansion with the five expanded cells fitting together. It's like HD vision coming to an SD vision of long ago.

My reality is merging terrifyingly. On my stand, I just switched the coffee warmer on. Then on my keyboard, started to do Cmd-s to save it. Please help me to recognize the contours in the blurs. I understand that to represent reality I need to blur the distinction between what I perceive as real and what I represent as real. I am in essence, the interface, the slash in the I/O. Which makes me think of my preoccupation with the dividing line that first came to awareness in grass/path painting. So aware in noint joint and dividing by zero. So I charged my cells to model 5D consciousness, to transmit to local cells the process, the patterns, the actions, the intent. This flies under the radar of mind and ordinary consciousness. But is infecting. I don't like the word viral, which has come to overtake infectious. But maybe viral means more like conscious choices, where infectious is more unconsciousness and less able to be resisted. But virus and viral are way too pushy and sicken, diminishing or stopping ordinary functioning. Where expanded consciousness is just an addition, an overlay, and increase in ability.

2014-03-17
Creating the EIEnor model in Sketchup, a 3D modeling program. Now I can rotate a yellow cell expanded onto an EIE. My whole body has sprung to attention. The only way I can explain this elation is that it actually demonstrates to cell what to do. I had thought I had to have a physical 3D model. But somehow this moving 3D model is doing it.

2014-03-08

Sunrise meditation 5:45-6:15 AM at Kellogg Park on Choctawhatchee Bay. When sat for meditation, thought legs and hands would be cold, but soon forgot. Nancy feels the warmth of the sun on her face but I didn't notice that. Until the sun appeared I really couldn't meditate, was so lost in the beauty. No wind. The colors were so divine. There were floating things in the water that Nancy thought were birds but it was mostly debris. Once the sun made it impossible to look I really sunk in. Feel cells expand. I really should do this each morning. They come into their own. It is possible that sun people recognize this expanded kind of consciousness. Like socializing with expanded beings. Felt some EIEbing, wholeopen action, but mostly suspended with that intensity of emotion that in one way is epitomy of grief and another way is upper threshold of bliss. Is close intimacy and remote nothingness. Above all feels so essentially being. There's a muscular aspect too, like being risen.

2014-03-06

It would be easy to think that EIE is planetary expanded consciousness and EIEnor is galactic expanded consciousness.

2014-03-05

Good news and bad news. Today I published as linked here. Wow. What word expresses way most wow? I started finishing my models. The big one was done and photographed when I started work on the small one. All I had to do was glue and place wholeopens.

small model of EIEnor/EIEbingI put on one and was getting into the next, when I heard this Caroling inside saying, " I'm getting it". Little zings of joy popped. I continued the placements with this elated feeling throbbing through me. I was getting increasingly mind-blown, filled with surety that this was it. Brain cell being got it. This was what was needed. I put it on the black cloth to photograph more and more amazed.

I should explain that the large model included images of the original brain cell vibes, rods, and crosses, but the small one did not. So maybe this means that the vibes are not stored that way or don't appear in the same way. The storage block elements of rods, crosses and vibes are not directly transferred. Suddenly, writing this, it makes sense that all that stays in the original cell and this structure of EIEnor is virtual, like a map. Unlike a map it doesn't strive to represent the original cell territory. In fact, those functions probably change and need to be represented differently.

I came to the computer and was going to modify the graphic and text to follow this new info. But I couldn't do it. I had to meditate.

I recorded some thoughts about the experience on a movie that was my 30-minute timer. Mostly I was conscious of being active in a way not available to consciousness. Experiencing many kinds of joy. Couldn't describe or categorize.

Here is what I transcribed after meditation, from meditation video.

I feel completely surrounded with expanded brain cells. From my body to the center of the galaxy. Ah, ah, ah, it's the gravity of being feels SO right. I can feel the wholeopens. Wholeopens regulating blue vibes. It's like a cloud or mist of them. They're too small and fine for me to see. I can feel them just permeating. It's like being in an adventure. Going to a new spot that nobody has been before. In late teens, I wanted to be a thinker but I didn't know I'd get to this place. Of course it is not just the brain, it's not just brain cells. Every cell can do this. I didn't know that. I have never in my whole life felt so completely activated. It's like a whole another Wonder in Aliceland is needed. Everything is different. Seems to be weaving a path. Monks with sandals and brown robes, walking on the strands (to galactic center). Traversing. All the love of jewels is substitute love of this kind of action. Earth, O we must leave these things such as crystals and gems there. At 14:25 start singing Wholeo and it sounds like reverb and echo. Wonderful effect. Wonder what causes it. Nothing for the rest of the time.

When it was over I had forgotten how to move. I am so completely transported. What an experience. I just can't comprehend it (almost crying it sounds like).

There had been a thought that there was more info in the Universe painting (on the wall in front of me). Good to meditate in front of it and maybe the pattern will seep in. I wonder if I should remove the vibes and crosses from the large model layout and pictures of EIEnor and of course the answer is yes. After meditation video. Too tired to transcribe. Will continue tomorrow. I can hardly move.

2014-03-03

Stumbling block: what use is it to tell people that their brain cells need a 3D model to work, if they can't get a model? In contemplating this, suddenly vast cavern of darkness reveals that I don't know anywhere near enough about brain cell expansion.

5 brain cells rotated (10 tetrahedrons, 5 cubes) paper modelsI imagine brain cell rotation like the two models I did long ago. The five cubes and their ten interior tetrahedrons rotated. I should repeat these here. Maybe a new page on visualizing brain cell expansion. This sounds like so much work. Another thing I need is the tets rotated inside the EIEnor like the basic model. Hmm, there must be a wikipedia page for that too. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Icosiicosahedron-in-dodecahedron.png. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Compound_of_ten_tetrahedra.png is made with stella software by Robert Webb. At http://michal.kosmulski.org/origami/spiky.html I downloaded the spiked icosahedron, an origami. Thinking about asking Wholeo Facebook page friends to help solve the 3D printing problem or the model problem or at least try to present the alternatives and ask if the question is correctly framed.

Having done an EIEnor net, I now think there should be the tetrahedron tips in there too. Can't match the model to the EIEnor graphic on the page. Hadn't thought about that, that there could be different arrangements of the same starting five. Maybe as many variations as different starting rings. Should be able to figure this out like switches. B, y,c, o,v. In my model yellow is yellow-green and violet is pink. But no, it wouldn't work, because there are more than 12 variations but I don't know which are limited by the original choice. Actually, I think this is something our system needs to know. If the brain cells do the arranging, they need to know the implications of each variation. But what difference would it make?

2014-03-02

On the walk thought to tune in, for me now that means center of galaxy with expanded consciousness. Not easily happening. Have forgotten the right words. When I asked five brain cells to synergize I heard (can't honestly say “they said”) that the picture and ideas and computer renderings of 3D is not enough. They need a 3D model of the intention. That's what I must do right now.

So the page, EIEnor opened flat has to have nets for building the models. First problem to solve is how the cubes actually expand. The model I made just shows the flat sides rearranging. According to all past research the cube expands in 3D, so I need to use the cubes. OK I have it colored, printed and being folded into model. But I need the EIEbing eye shape, crystal node, the wholeopen arms for each pent. For galalactic interaction. Note that this quest is not new; see this page from 1998. I should redo the movie with colored cubes and show them expanding after appearing.

Looking at EIEbing at Galactic Center I wonder about the pent colors. I wonder if the eye shapes, what is that called? (Vessica), should be rotating, I think so. And each brain cell is muted and unimportant here. Today it feels like each should have more of a part to play and should be more prominent. Strange sudden feeling that each pent is like a facetime mirror of another dimension.

2014-02-26

Note the email and response of 2-25 on Chakra Levels in 2014.

2014-02-25

Woke up about 5:30am and tried to go back to sleep and lucid dream with non-spacetime reality. Thinking back to the yod. What was that imagery about? I thought of Stan Tenen and meru.org. Seems that symbol was the best to communicate with nsr. I think that was last night. And after that I thought that the yod was transmitted to me. I received it. And my reply was a Wholeo symbol. Not sure how this exists non-spacially, but felt it had something to do with intimacy of a contact. Contact not in spacial, but in emotional terms. And relatively more or less in a curve, perhaps mathematically existing. Quantities can exist outside of spacetime. I feel so privileged to sense Wholeo this way. It feels like an adventurous achievement.

Yod means many things but can be pointer of our inner consciousness.

2014-02-23

If I were to describe how meditation has influenced my creative process now, I would say that there are dimensions of mindfulness. Attention to detail of the moment. Attention to life purpose, mindful of attending to great sweep of the life arc. Attention to expanded consciousness, for me, modeling wholeopen and being center galaxy aware, relaying vibes. Attention to what is beyond time and space (why not say spacetime), or should say without time and space but some other sort of reality where much of what we do physically is imaginary there. But it has other features for me to tune into, where those things can be imaginary for us. It seems that these kinds of attention vary in scale, but each aspect of attention is present.

2014-02-20

ECMS. Lots of cosmos diving during meditation. I seem to be closer to pure meditation and fantasy meditation co-existing and being comfortable. Fantasy more or less irrepressible. Pure just is. There was a part of dark blue lights like a cluster of balloons. I got involved in the space aspect, not over there. And the illumination of the interior. Another journey was being the cosmic being. Definite sense of being a being that was all beings.

2014-02-15

Last night doing yoga, feeling of the openness to multiD. Felt qi is key. Also music. Qi and music is shared quality with beings not in time or space. Not sure they have any environment, even one that we might be able to comprehend. Looking in blog and haven't reported this wonderful adventure in awareness.

2014-02-14

Wonderful feeling of freedom today. Like silky dancing through life. Not wasting energy, especially on anything I can't change. Judgements happen, but no stress.

Today is Valentine's Day and my daughter's birthday. My color healing cast runesigns for the female runesign 14, associated with her. Plus Joy and wholeopen runesigns. Thank you color healer.

2014-02-09

On wakeup I immediately felt in touch with my multiD center, whatever that is. Felt I was interpreting my reality in the most basic sense, starting with space. That we have a dimension with spacial qualities and this sensor is housed in a host of living beings. This community is called “i” and this sensor is associated with the package. Not only the basics, but specifics. Aware and recording and communicating like an organic video camera, breathing too. How I pull the medium around me within, and push it out while communicating with its parts.

After awhile I became aware of not only talking but listening. That of course was deafening. Cacaphonous. Multitudinous. Like a ball of letters of alphabets in strange forms, abstract to me. Ball rolling and saving. Like all this information is available to me when my soul core is ready to move on.

That idea stopped me short since I'm agnostic about anything about “i” or “me” or this consciousness surviving this life experience. But agnostic doesn't say true or false but keeps it open as maybe so, maybe no. I did have a feeling of deja vue, like when I was moving through the university, like I'm bright and doors open for me. I feel fortunate and blessed and eager to participate. The feeling was especially at a moment when I had not yet graduated with a B.A in art. I had plunged into the Art major fully, completely, as committed as I could be. But that had not included a future plan and I hadn't worried about it. But it must have loomed as a kind of void. This moment was when I had become aware of the MFA possibility which seemed to be the perfect next step. I didn't really think past the MFA, so can't say it seemed like a bridge. It was like a door into the unknown but it was the best choice. Actually, the only choice, so it wasn't a choice. I remember no other paths or doors.

Once I engaged the process of submitting application, being accepted, moving on campus with a roommate, being a teaching assistant, having a studio, it was wonderful. At the same time is was terrible in taking on more responsibility for the I, not only the physical care of the body but the identity.

That transition feels a lot like what is happening to me with 2012. I know I've been working on this forever. Looking back in my journal I probably have said this before. So it is a spiral process. Forward in cycles, like our year around the sun moves us forward around the galaxy.

The incoming information is like hearing about the MFA was back then, in 1956. On the walk I remember opening up my brain cells for storage, like all the unused parts and it kind of flooded in.

2014-02-06

ECMS meditation was so wonderful. Afterwards Joan said I always look so blissful. I said it is good in the group. It feels like we do it together. Like a big donut.

I talked to my mind that at first tended to maintain threads from my excellent conversations. I kind of helped brain by talking to it. I guess that's left brain although I prefer to keep mine together. So if they are identical twins, they so play together that can't isolate them. So I said that we didn't need to review the memories, we could be present. Brain said what am I to do then? I said you could be on the lookout for blue pearls and gather and organize them. It could do that without my conscious participation. Blue light began to appear.

There were a few other exchanges with brain, where I got it to support rather than deteriorate my meditation. I acted as though the meditator was separate from the thinker and the awareness. Is there a verb for being aware. Awarer, awaring.

2014-02-05

Put the galactic center, language, people together on a page, as art.

2014-02-03

Had a vision. Like a necktie shape. Pattern shows intergalactic, maybe multi-D language. Blue red yellow primary colors. Any one shape or color can stand out at any one time as the foreground. Started a graphic. Note that all shapes are hard-edged and mostly rectangular with a few circles. Note: like this painting by Theo van Doesburg, but shapes connected and at angles, with circles.

2014-02-02

At the center of the galaxy with expanded consciousness, I got that I am a functioning galactic being. But the thread of Shift 2013 is multidimensional awareness, not only multi-galactic. MultiD.

2014-02-01

Up early taking this time to go galactic. Looking at a circle of galaxy people and wondering if that is the circle in the 1/28 vision. Looking at all the 2013 movies. Shift happens should show mystsynthesize. It feels incomplete. Streaming Sirius shows the bings but doesn't connect somehow. Watching EIEbing at Galactic Center I can see the geometrical form spreading to the circle of gps as the vision of the 28th. Pulsing in and out from gut. Also wholeopen doing more vibe regulating. Maybe need to do a Flash movie where vibes are generated randomly.Wish I could do it in After Effects. So lookinnout13 movies list needs a #12. And I think I need to make a really full movie of the whole thing all together.

2014-01-28

After waking with a dream, turning over to go back to sleep, I had a powerful vision. Like a circle of people at an angle to the earth. That is, the whole circle was tipped down and maybe within earth where I was on the periphery. But I could see outlines of figures up against the sky, seemingly unaffected by gravity. It seemed a sparkly light energy ball was before me. It was like those sparkly tinsel strands with radius or axii made of glittering moving stuff.

I reached out my hands around the ball, like qigong or reiki energy. I waved hands in and out, connecting with and compressing the energy but more like increasing and gathering it. It got big enough to encompass my body size so I applied it to my over all aura starting with my head. I patted it down around and over my torso, down my legs. Then reached and grasped the bottoms of my feet.

It was as if all my cells that had fasted and were honored were ready to expand function, evolve and recreate with a blue energy group. We melded energy with the group. Which reminded me that I'm a blue energy being now. I haven't finished Shift 13 visionary work yet.

2014-01-15

Earlier today I had a feeling other awareness was here. In afternoon, started thinking that the GMM full moon of January, following the Outer solstice of December, was like the first full moon after the June solstice and so I may find Galaxy people coming. And they are, seemingly at cellular or small or microscopic level. Exchange going on. For every morsel here, one of mine goes there or somewhere. I'm being evolved. I'm being replaced. (See Galaxy Color for background and links.)

2014-01-14

Gave in to Facebook urge to share Auom vibe drawing on the Wholeo page.

Back to vibes. Wow, vibes are looking really good. Had urge to do color healing. Did one to wholeopenVibes and the runesigns said manifest a galaxy green. Suddenly thought maybe have the galaxy green vibes coming in. It had been obvious that I need the vibe packages to exit the frame or come forward or disappear backwards. It is marvelous to see the beginning I made. Hope I don't stress everyone's processors so noone can see the movie.

Sat for a minute imagining display and suddenly felt a wholeopen in gut and the vibes coming and going from my body. Is that the ultimate of the Galactic Beam Being? Sorry heart lovers, it is the tan t'ien, the hara (tanden in Japanese). Indulged in search on words. Wikipedia says the lower dantian or navel is focal point of breathing technique as well as the center of balance and gravity. To me, it is the focal point of every cell in the body, like a holographic cell, the cell, the one cell of Caroling that is multiplied and thinks it is many cells. When I get to that point each cell feels individually and directly connected. Seat of prana in yoga. Tan t'ien.

Tanden is Japanese word for the Chinese tan-tien which literally translates as “cinnabar field”. Is a more precise point of concentration within the hara region. Reading about cinnabar is fascinating. Is like quartz, is the most refractive of any mineral. Is bright red, used in lacquer and the tomb of the mayan red queen. Is mercury sulfide. Toxic. Rhombohedral. Refraction is the change in direction of a wave due to a change in its transmission medium. Peaking out with jun foy, fun joy of the morning. Have got the overall wholeopen and the me centered at the dantian hara, tandan.

For audio I need a drum. A beat. Changing. Fast and slow. The glass bead click is sharp for focus. The insects' pitch is high, makes it seem heightened. Still need some kind of steadiness. It is very steady. Needs some different rhythm.

Idea of using some of the kids' audio in my movie. Shrieks and giggles, different kinds of emotion.

2014-01-13

No email or Facebook for two days. Real retreat for me.

Feeling this is the peak of my life. But knowing this is my preferred feeling and I peak out frequently. But what thell, go for it.

Earlier I got an answer to my quest for what the center of the galaxy looks like from EIEbing, knowing that it is not a black hole at all. For me, it looks like Econfina creek, Williford Spring. Going there in imagination, I feel a strange sense of location. Or should I say dislocation. That there really is no center except where you think it is. Williford Spring is as much the center of some gigantic spacial configuration as what our earth consensus reality says is a Milky Way galaxy with a center over beyond the stars in Sagittarius. See graphic.

In having that sense, and making that statement, I pretty much step aside from the earth story and establish my own. I'm astonished. Earlier I had been feeling how minuscule and insignificant a tiny little fragment my earth life is. I had been feeling actually less interesting than I've ever felt in my life.

So now to feel that I'm limitless, beyond description, no boundaries and yet having the point of view of Caroling, me myself a 79-year old person sitting here enjoying herself without compromise or contradiction is fun. Seems like a gift of inestimable qualities or value. It could be a trinket or the secret of life. But measuring does not seem like my choice of what to do or think or be.

So EIEbing background is the spring. About to look for that day of pictures of the spring, I feel the twang of what I usually do between tasks or mind focuses, I look at email or Facebook, often distracted for many minutes or hours. But today I choose not to do that. I feel like I'm treasuring myself. Giving myself the gift of inner exploration. Me, myself and I. We three, we're all along (sic, alone). Living in a company. My echo, my shadow and me. That was a song of my youth.

The 10pm full moon should be straight up in the south. It would be great to see Williford in the moonlight. Suddenly remembering the inner pool drawings I did after Leo was born, maybe in Montana. The configuration exactly matches the vision I was having of me at Williford.

Restricting urges to go online is very instructive and I think productive.

OK, am going to walk and read Magical Passes. When the timer for an hour dinged, I exactly finished the second chapter.

2014-01-12

Thinking this morning that Alzheimer's is a choice. There is a tendency to forget all conditioning, all auto-pilot things that have served so well. I find myself looking at things with a blank, knowing that I know how to do what I want to do, but completely blank. I have to will it to the present. My task as soon as this photo project is done this afternoon, is to be at the center. Be the galactic gal so I can see as her, be as her. I'm still seeing EIEbing as Eartha.

2014-01-11

I am unable to go to the hike, feeling it even hard to get up from a chair or stand and do the dishes at the sink. My body seems to be screaming that it just can't get it together to act like a 50-year old or a 60-year old because I'm very near to being an 80-year old.

I prefer to see this not as depletion but evolution. I'm evolving to be a spiritual self and my earth body is in decline but my artistic spiritual and love body is glowing. I need to serve my evolutionary direction more.

I want to focus on the blue full moon culmination of Galactic Moonbeam Mystsynthesis.

Susan Sun actually wrote back with lots of good links and rapport. Love it. Here is a more blue pearl page on souledout. http://www.souledout.org/healing/bluedot/bluemore.html

I have http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Milky_Way_Arms.svg Here is her other link: http://ay201b.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/milky-way.png

It seems like we would be streaming to Sirius, not the reverse. Seems like Cygnus would be ahead. I remember thinking that long long ago when LeoElo seemed to be there. I found it in 1993 journal where it says the Cygnus was ahead of us in the galaxy. Nothing on web except that we are headed toward Virgo. How can we be headed, I thought we were all embedded in the Milky Way. Are we going faster, as if others were not also moving?

Not to get stuck on this streaming, at least I've determined that we are in the same spiral arm. Hmm, maybe Sirius is sending genergy (galactic energy) through or that passes by us on the way. Sick of this whole topic. What am I to make of these last few days of Mystsynthesis? Thinking it has more to do with EIEbing. Seems like I should set up some nuclear, as in nucleus of galaxy expanded consciousness sphere, spewing vibes with the vibe regulators Wholeopens.

Trying to picture EIEbing at Galactic Center, I suddenly saw how Sirius could be upstream. Particles could be moving toward the black hole. That's right, it sucks stuff in. I was picturing it spewing stuff out. So if spiral arms are moving toward the center then yes we are ahead in the arm. Still can't get the feeling of a stream in which anything would move at different speeds. Is Sirius sending stuff faster and more than us, that would wash over us? Interesting that Cygnus is ahead. Don't think the EIEbing has anything to do with the arms or the gravity or the movement or the black hole. Is it possible to not have anything to do with it?

Actually getting the feeling that it is a countering anti-centrifugal, reverse torque. Just like yin-yang principle (not graphic or like a reverse yang-yin).

Could the location of EIEbing in GC just be a matter of scale? That to be of that magnitude, center has to coincide. I see how strange my journal is and how hard to understand. I'm just groping and grasping and even (sob) fabricating. And All so tentative.

So I didn't just travel month by month, but expanded month by month.

2014-01-09

Vibration going on. Imagine the kind of vibration of a creature that's like a lizard vibrating itself down into the sand. It goes wiggle wiggle, the whole body is making itself move though finer particles. This is not like that. This is a vibration within the body of smaller units, that are not... I don't think they are physically composing that body in the sense that the outer shape of the body is going to change. But it is doing some kind of rearranging so. So it goes vibe vibe vibe vibe. Vibe vibe vibe. Vibe vibe vibe. Righ righ rour rourgh. (shaking gripping hands) OK this is what is jiggling. Ji ji ji. In a certain rhythm that I don't know what it is. Tcha ca khe ca che.

Maybe I could meditate and try and tune into it. It's like, say we had a bottle and in the bottle we had some round things like bubble gum or some kind of soft little chunks (was thinking marbles for the shape and size but not that reflective, hard or fragile). That would have things swinging in orbit … So there's the bottle, the chunk and inside the chunk are paddle-wheels that are going around. That are attached on vibrating strings and attached so they're like spokes of a wheel and they can move up and down. Then this jiggling somehow helps these things know how to align with each other. To form something that's a larger structure that's not going to fall down with gravity, right? It's a different force than gravity, telling these things how.

Wow, music kinds of lines things up. It's music or heat. What kind of force is it? It's something I feel of intensity. My whole body is extremely interested, radiantly healthy. I know the temperature is under 70° in here but I'm still not feeling cold. Totally naked. Well, I do feel cold but it's not my primary concern. In a sense it's like being in a stream of water, like being stones, like being river rocks, being washed into shape. There's that aspect of it. Then there's the jig jig ji ggl ing.

Talk about getting rid of conditioning. It's loosened from its usual positions and made to kind of take note and kind of I guess it is following the path of least resistance but … You can talk about people being shaken to their core? This is not a violent process. It's rising to an occasion.

Sitting zazen in front of the universe painting on the wall. Facing east. Visionary meditation. There's vibration going on. All I can relate is two things that I've read. Except for my event of the Galactic Beam Being. One is Jean Hudon's who really thought that this sunspot that's poised to start Thursday night but come in on Friday could disrupt all our electronics. That could be what I'm feeling.

The other thing is the idea that the Galactic energy comes through the arms of the galaxy. And that makes sense. I never thought about it before. It said that Sirius is upstream from us, whatever that means. So now it is coming towards the full moon and the sun is sending energy. Sirius is upstream of the sun and us, so we have a direct beam from the center of the galaxy. So there are all these forces.

I could say there's a sound to it. It's like the insects make. Chick a ckk. Jeuk a jk. Ck a gak up cka gk up. Those are like the bones of the spine. Maybe that's where it is. In the spinal fluid. Because there's these bones that reflect and can flex. And the fluid itself has all kinds of stuff in it. It's magnetic. Resonance.

Wonder if there's any sound out there. Actually the sound that I hear is in my head. It's like … extremely high pitch like circles . Like if I were dancing I'd be putting my hands around in circles. Swinging my torso in circles. Like all these different cycles circles make this kind of “whee shro etc” I try to whish the sound I'm hearing. Boy it is really irregular though. It's like the whole thing makes kind of a pulse (the rising cackles I make here sound more like it feels, than anything so far). The individual ones are like tseet tsseeth set, good whishing sound effects. I wasn't paying attention to the lower ones. It is like a view of the landscape. Goes from light to dark. Like the highs are like the light of the sky and the lower tones the middle ground. It's like a chorus and the lower ones are down in the dark .. awesome lower notes. (I'd like to make a sound track of these sounds I made). Movie ends with some rough gruff growls and a cough.

The minute I sit to meditate, I see this wash, from dark to gray to light, like made with a brush with water in it, soft. Above that these little shapes of the cups and the circles like angles ck cuh pe ta tah. Making a rhythm . Seems like when I express. It is sending back and that's what it wants. Some how we have this part like when nothing divides out it needs to hear back from the parts to keep whole. Otherwise it just disintegrates. So why should it do anything? It's like “I love you”. It says I love you. Makes an objective. Becomes aware if itself as an I and what it is is love of the objective as the you. And then the you becomes an I that says I love you that comes back. So it is whole that way.

It is mostly through intensity. That's why it doesn't matter if it is good or bad or a wreck or creation. It's just intensity that counts. It seems like I'm being enticed to re-form. It's like there are bubbles bubbling up on me. There's heat and light and feeling, love. But I'm called on to contain. And allow this to create. Whereupon it all becomes elastic. Like taffy. Stretching. And bread yeasting. Thick honey.

2014-01-02

ECMS group meditation was brilliantly visionary but I retained nothing except a feeling of patchwork stitching together. Sort of fibers or connective tissues being woven or acknowledged. During talk by Al Drucker, interesting vision. Sai Baba told me that Al's voice and stories were focus points for the minds of listeners but the real content was a fibrous construct in a ring around the circle channeling healing. I could see it like a web of bush branches. In the center grew up a kind of fountain structure that fanned out at the pinnacle to form a ball of circular cross-sections like peacock tail feathers, iridescent, flexible, moving. To enact my task, as I continued to listen, I also was in a form of active meditation. No details remain in memory.

2014-01-01

Woke at 5:14 just before new moon at 5:15 CST. Wanted to meditate and do sunrise but just too tired. Tuned in and got the rushing through space or the space rushing past earth sensation. Little blue parcel bings in the flow. The nuggets became enveloped in green aurora energy surrounds. Later I found the information that energy from the galactic center streams outward in the galactic arms. The star Sirius is upstream so transmits and channels galactic energy streaming toward us on earth. This site calls Sirius the New Year Star, which seems to fit. See a movie of Streaming Sirius.

2013-12-30

We swam in Williford Spring, fed gushing and boiling to the surface at about 70° F. by the Floridan aquifer. We walked in the forest over sinkholes and flowing waters below. Body is ragingly blissful. Intensity almost scares me like maybe this is a heart attack.

It is the aquamarine, turquoise ray. It is at once a shaft of light blazing straight down on me like a waterfall or like I'm diving up into it or stream of water. Like taking the horizontal swimming experience and rotating CW 90° or diving rotated 180°.

I'm ecstatic, cleansed, blessed. Should chronicle what we did but am thinking of the New Year galactic set up graphic. Not sure how much of this whizz is from family, water, or Galactic Beam Being. I'm sure this grounding is related to the new moon 18 hours ahead.

2013-12-25

Fresh start.

2013-12-24

I found the slide of the window remembered yesterday. "Grandpa's Rainbow" was a stained glass commission for the George and Ruth Resch home in Brooklyn Heights, New York in 1968. It went in a turret up high.

Today I had this conversation with Leslie on Facebook:

Caroling
Joan and Leslie: Do you have a rash that appeared the morning of Dec. 22? I did, right at my cleavage. It is like the hives I got in 2002 but untike their transitory nature, it has lasted. Still there, red, a bit itchy. I'm hoping my diagnosis is correct. At the labyrinth, after maybe 2/3 done, I got so hot I took off my peace walking socks, rolled up my pants, rolled up sleeves, and tucked my shirt up under my bra. Left it that way until driving home. Thinking back, near the first part of the walk, when I came to a tree, I hugged it for awhile. Could it be that something on the tree got tucked up tight and sweaty between my breasts? But still loving the event you mastered, everything about it. Thank you!!!

Leslie:
No rash from that day for me. Hmmm maybe something from the tree? Benadryl cream perhaps to help? Xo

Caroling:
Thx Leslie

Leslie:
I'm so sorry because I know how miserable rashes are!!!

Caroling:
Lift that sorrow because it is not at all miserable. Just an occasional kind of spicy sensation that it is there. Nothing I put on it changes it. Not like any kind of rash I have known but I may be rash but have not had any memorable rashes. Maybe this is more like a sunburn in appearance. But not peeling or any pain. Odd, I say.
Plus it went where no sun could have.

Leslie:
It could be energetic
It's over your heart
Your heart is full

Caroling:
A solstice heart burn?

Leslie:
Yes of sorts

Caroling:
It has a butterfly shape!

Leslie:
A message to your heart or a message will be coming from your heart?
Metamorphosis

Caroling:
Yes!! I must listen

Leslie:
I think you are about to have a very important vision
Yes listen, pay attention to your dreams

Caroling:
My dream teacher said a New Year's Eve dream would portend for the year to come. Incubate that caterpillar.

Leslie:
Yes yes!

Caroling:
I dreamed this morning that I set down a full cup of coffee with milk but it spilled behind the bookcase. I'm looking for towels to mop it up. I don't get the drift so far.

Leslie:
It's leading you to look behind what you cannot see

Caroling:
Or read about. A ha.

Leslie:
It's behind the bookshelf no need for books
Maybe it hadn't been written yet?

Caroling:
The stimulating drink is the writing on the wall?

Leslie:
Yes
We often look for answers in someone else's writings but most often the answers are right there

Caroling:
A detail of the dream. While not finding towels, I pierced a whole, [Sic] hole in a membrane in front of the books and like opening a dam, the liquid gushed out. That could be your help.

Leslie:
Yes
Knowledge beyond the usual places

Caroling:
OMG put my hand over heart with closed eyes and got the vision. Puts it all together. It's busted. Will elaborate … on website … later.

Leslie:
Wonderful!!!

Here's what I wrote about the vision, but needs to be put into art. It connects all mystsynthesis guidance from the December full moon on.

I closed eyes and put my hand over the rash/flush over my heart. I saw Grandpa's Rainbow arc down from the cranium to the entry point over my breast bone. When I saw the handshake emerge, I saw no other end. Oh, and that would relate to the trunk, my trunk and the tree trunk. When I got the moon hole I thought of the root, not the center.

2013-12-23

Realizing that yesterday's handshake reminds me of the Resch window, called a transom? Do I have it on the web? Shocked at my lack of visions around the solstice. Wondering how Georgiana coped with her loss of visions on deathbed and if that is happening to me?

On my walk, I started asking the question, “Well, what does the EIEbing look like?” At first I had assumed that the central crystal Geome would turn into a tiny EIEnor and still have the same opening. But what came into mind now was 12, one Eyebing on each pentagon of an EIEnor. Wow, don't know how they'd be pointed. They wouldn't be pointed. I think I have that (thinking of the 12 EIEs on a bigger EIE with the crab). So many of these things have been done already.

So how about the wholeopen? Coming out of every Eyebing at each pent of the EIEbing.

The EIEbing is just perception. So you're melding galactic perception of the Eyebing with expanded consciousness of EIEbing and this is the mystsynthesis. Wow, it comes together unexpectedly. Huh! I guess I could do this any time. I don't have to do it now. It would be easy enough though. Just get out your EIE, paste a bunch of Eye... I'm not sure which way they point though. Each has a long and a short axis. Everything else has been symetrical that I put in there. I get the feeling they swirl around like wholeopens. Ahhh. Ohhh. So like little compass needles swinging around. They are centered on the pent, they're not fixed.

And all this is part of Grandpa's Rainbow? Oh Grandpa, you have evolved. I can see his big smile.

What are my tasks? I have to animate a Wholeopen clip, an Eyebing with pointers whirling around. It should be moving and sending out blue vibes. So then make 12 of those. Get an EIEnor, which I've got, and affix the 12 clips in layers. Would be best to do this in After Effects. But that's hard. I could do a graphic and do your movie later. I got my message. Boy that was helpful. I've been so wondering. So how does that relate to the galactic beam channel, the moon hole in my skull, and the Grandpa's Rainbow?

I don't see a relationship at the moment because the EIEbing is at the galactic core and the connection is between me and something outside of me. So GR has to do with the knot.

2013-12-22

Up and out to walk lake2lake before dawn. Didn't matter it was overcast. Warm enough. Blue cast to sky as I took off. Can see it in the movies. Thinking of the sky cast as diffused moon, meaning the whole sky.

Tuning into these cells that got activated, these memory beads. But they are in your aura. This must be brain cells that just look round. Seems like I'm a transmitter. But what would I transmit?

When I started this walk, I'm just like girl child Carol walking around the block in Kenwood. I walked to and from school but not a lot of walking by myself. Then I went from there back to baby Carol just lying on the grass, when I first got to go outside. Oh, it's not blue anymore. That wonderful pre-dawn blue is gone. All of a sudden, I'm just walking along, I got this thing about the transmitter. That's truly radical. I can graphic that.

I'm not transmitting but reaching out to connect with some signal that, it's not. OK these signals are not one way. They're like AC (alternating current). So connecting is a matter of fine tuning because we're all in contact all the time. It is a matter of sorting out what you want to hear. Ah so it is the intention. What is it that I want to hear? Or say? Or be part of?

I'm feeling a grip. I can't call it a reachout because already used that word. Tentacle? Is shaking hands with something else, is like a square knot. It is tied? Or it's interfaced in a wound-around fashion. Apparently my brain doesn't have to know what is. A handshake? I feel like a creature of the night. Now that it is getting light I want to get out of here.

2013-12-21

Sunrise meditation. With moon, Sirius and Jupiter backing me up and the galaxy center way bigger than all of us, the sun passes on messages, but I'm getting them directly. Don't remember any content, as in details about messages or messaging. But felt content, satisfied as is. The clouds raced over the sky with sun peeking through briefly.

Present from Joen: socks with "Peace is Every Step" printed on the bottoms.

At Wild Heron Preserve Labyrinth with five others, saw a blue fan with yellow focus at the bottom. I thought I'd enlarge it, but it sort of swam to the left and down before the yellow/gold focus was transforming into the whole screen afterimage of blue. Then other colors came, rainbow eventually. Juicy red. See a picture of me at the center of the labyrinth at the top of the page.

The first time I came to a tree and hugged it, I felt the betweeness, because of the branches and the roots, like identifying the trunk state of things. Experienced high, low, in-between. Realized I was between the opposites. Felt so happy. Weather was perfect. Sunlight was not too bright but it was on most of the time.

Joan said a ladybug sat on her shirt over her belly button. Then took off. The ladybug I saw was on a rock, seemed like part of the rock, quintessential focus of everything we are doing and our meaning in life. Facing toward the sun then turned and looked at me, like Oh you're here too, sending me beams of ladybugness. Turned back to the sun. Then expanded all its wings. Seemed like four parts. Then flew up then down and into a rock crevice. It revealed itself. That was the best moment of all.

So liquid. So melted I thought about swimming strokes with my arms and then got fancier and fancier, thought I could do ballet stuff. Put my leg up and fell over. Leslie was right there and she balanced me. Had to laugh about that. Was pretty funny. When I first met Leslie as I went back and she went forward there was this infinity sign around us, binding us in a field of the infinite. So profound. Every time I met her, afterward, she said she heard the buzz that she had also heard last year walking the labyrinth for the 2012 solstice.

There was this blue rock that was so incredibly glisteny blue. I met it once, twice and when I leaned over after meeting Leslie a last time, there it was at my feet. The rocks in the south seemed much more colorful. They seemed more neutral in the rest of the labyrinth. I feel like they are people. Each one has a story. Spoke to me in different patterns. Seems like if I keep walking this labyrinth it will become an increasingly deep experience. I'll get to identify individuals.

Five people came to dinner as guests for my 79th happy birthday. Today was a milestone in the Galactic Moonbeam Mystsynthesis Event, celebrating the Outer solstice. Contrary to expectations I was not aware of any major revelations. Theme of the day: between. Throughout these days of the event, I seem to be in heightened state of awareness which sometimes crystalizes into something recognizable from the myst. I collect these ideas and hope to present them graphically at some point.

Joan Vienot took the photo at the top of this page. She modified it, see Facebook.

See also Geome Journal.

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